Not In This Issue: Cookies, Smelt And Canadian Humor

…despite the fact that I know many humorous Canadians



The Doclopedia #803

The Birds & The Bees: Making Love The Mutant Way

Well, it all depends on what kind of mutant you are, don’t it? I mean, if your a human/dog mutant, the sex is all casual and such. Oh, sure once it awhile a fight breaks out because some bloke tries to get ahead in the queue, but those fights are over in a wink and it’s all good.

If you’re a human/cattle hybrid, or any of several of the hooved quadruped hybrids, the biggest bull or buck gets all of the action and that’s that. Well, unless your a goat or moose or elk hybrid, ‘cos then you’ll be butting heads and rattling antlers until the younger blokes piss off.

But if you’re a lion or bear or other major predator hybrid, you’re fighting every young bastard that comes along and when they fight, there’s a bloody good chance of getting injured or even killed. Same goes for the chimps, except they fight in groups before fighting among their own tribe.

Who has it best? Oh, no doubt it’s the bonobo hybrids. I mean, even when they aren’t breeding for reproduction, they’re shagging all the time anyway. No arguing among them, mate, it’s just have a quickie and forget what the hell the problem ever was and you didn’t have to butt heads with some other poor bugger.