… from the October, 1958 issue
Here it is, folks, the final entry in my “366 Days, 500 Entries” challenge to myself. My, oh my, what a journey this has been! My head, she nearly esplode many times. Still, it has been fun.
This will mark the end of Doclopedia entries for a couple of months, but the will be back in a less than daily form starting in early January. For now, I’ll be making another run at NaNoWriMo during November, then using December for other writing projects.
And now, enjoy this final entry.
The Doclopedia #893
How I Met My Wife: The Whole True Story!
(NOTE: These are not true. The true story involves a BBS picnic on Labor Day, 1995 and an impromptu discussion of how wildly varied the animal world is in regards to the structure of the penis.)
It was a rainy day in the Big City, the kind of rainy day that makes you want to stay inside your warm office with a bottle of scotch and a fistful of Oreos. The kind of day when you wish you had just one ray of sunshine to brighten things up.
I was just about to call my bookie and put a twenty down on the ponies when that ray of sunshine walked into my office.
She was tall and blond and wearing a dress that cost more than my last three cars combined. He perfume drifted across the room and made everything kind of dreamy. She had the face of an angel and big green eyes that made you think of sunny meadows. And her lips? Brother, those lips were made for kissing.
“Hello, Mr. Cross. My name is Grace and I was hoping you could help me with a problem I have.”
“Well, I’ll do all I can, Grace. Why don’t you have a seat and tell me all about it?”
Part of me was hoping her problem involved not having somebody to keep her warm at night. The rest of me was checking out her legs.
Or maybe it was…
(Please imagine William Shatner reading this to you.)
Captain’s log, stardate 2265.4, Captain Doc Cross reporting.
We have beamed down to the surface of Zeta 5 to attend a conference on interplanetary trade. While some of my officers are eager to attend the seminars, most of them are…looking at this as shore leave,…myself included.
After going to the unavoidable meet & greets, I…set off…to find a place for a drink and possibly play a few hands of Fizzbin. Along the way, I stopped by a bakery…for a quick bite to eat. That’s where I met her.
He name is Grace and…she’s intelligent, curvy, smiles a lot…and has pale green skin. I’ve always liked green skin. Naturally, I wanted to…bed her as soon as possible. She was…of course…immediately attracted to my…manliness, as most women are.
She closed the shop early.
Now…several hours later..I can’t stop thinking of her. Could she…be the one…the woman I’ve been searching for?
Or it could have been…
Doczilla had already laid waste to half of Tokyo and it looked as though nothing would stop the 300 foot tall monster from destroying the rest of the city. Even now, his atomic fire breath was destroying entire city blocks each time he used it. The city was in a panic and Doczilla loved it. He was really on a roll this time.
He had just knocked over an office building and stomped a few tanks when he saw a figure emerge from the smoke ahead of him. Doczilla paused to see if this was friend or foe.
It was Gracezilla, Queen of the Monsters. Her scales dripped with seawater, her eyes blazed with rage, a bit of radioactive drool rolled down her chin and in between her teeth were the remains of several Tokyo citizens and a 1965 Toyota police car.
My God, she was beautiful!
Doczilla looked at her and roared louder than ever before. She roared back, then batted her eyelashes. They each roared several more times, then Doczilla waved a clawed hand towards the remaining undamaged portion of the city. Gracezilla nodded and then, hand in hand, the two enormous kaiju merrily resumed laying waste to the city. Together.
It was love at first sight.