Chapter 577: In Which Our Hero, Assisted By Ted The Basset Hound And A Halfwitted American, Breaks Into The Church Bank And Steals A Ton Of Gold

…the American was of little use, actually.

 

The Doclopedia #819

Weights & Measures: 1.25 Cups

This is the volume of the Great Protoplasmic Blob when it was initially created by Professor Kimbly on May 3rd, 1883, just 21 days before it destroyed London. At first, the GPB was kind of cute, in a blobby sort of way, but then it ate Griff and Ned, the lab assistants and added 345 pounds to it’s weight and greatly increased it’s size. After that, there was almost no stopping it.

How fortunate, then, that several members of the Royal Junior Science League figured out a way to stop the digestive processes of the GPB, thus causing it to burn off massive quantities of itself every time it moved. In the end, it was smaller than your pinky and was destroyed in a blast furnace.

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The Doclopedia #820

Weights & Measures: 15 Meters

That was the height of the giant Orflortus, who came down from the high mountains to terrorize the villages in northern Ispedalia. He was a terrible being to behold and could not be reasoned with. He crushed houses and barns, ate livestock and tossed handfuls of humans into the River Hoza.

Eventually, the king sent 1,000 of his best troops to slay the giant. They were steely eyed veterans and armed to the teeth. They rode well trained war horses and had the finest weapons and armor. Sadly, Orflortus had summoned 100 of his giant friends and they wiped out 996 of the King’s One Thousand.

And that is why what used to be northern Ispedalia is now known as Giantland.

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