Handsome Joe And His Pals Play In The Mud

…what a bunch of dirty puppies, kittens & bunnies!


The Doclopedia #855

Alt. Elections & Debates: Kennedy VS Nixon


In our world, thew first debate between John Kennedy and Richard Nixon is one of the most famous of all and it turned the election for Kennedy, who won by a very narrow margin. On Earth 2B, things turned out quite differently.


Right off the bat, Nixon was not in good shape physically, just as he was in our world. He had been sick, refused TV makeup, etc, but on Earth 2B, he also had a good stiff shot of bourbon to steady his nerves just before the debate started. Combined with his medications, this only made him perform worse than he did here.


Kennedy did just as well as did here, picked up points in the polls and was ready for the next debate. He planned to go a bit harder on Nixon, to keep his momentum up.


Before the second debate, Nixon felt much better and got makeup to look better on TV. Unfortunately, and not known until nearly three decades later, he had an allergy to one of the makeup products that was used. The reaction was that he felt a bit lightheaded and itchy. On camera, this turned into looking unfocused and nervous. Again, Kennedy was the winner in most people’s minds.


The next two debates were about the same and John Kennedy won by a much larger margin than he did in our world. Nixon, depressed and now drinking a bit too much, went into seclusion and never ran for political office again.


John Kennedy was not assassinated in Dallas on November 22, 1963, mostly due to the fact that he had broken his ankle two days earlier while walking to an interview about the 1960 debates with Nixon. There was an attempted assassination in January of 1964, but it was foiled by the gunman getting struck by a car on his way to the hit. Dying in the hospital, Lee Harvey Oswald confessed everything.


Kennedy was re-elected in 1964, beating Barry Goldwater handily. In 1968, his brother, Robert, escaped assasination in Los Angeles when news that Richard Nixon had attempted suicide caused the crowd to shift, knocking Sirhan Sirhan down and making his gun go off. Robert Kennedy was elected and then re-elected in 1972.


Richard Nixon died in 1991, three years after doctors discovered his allergy to the makeup used back in 1960. His reported reaction upon hearing the news? “Well, that sucks.”


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