The Bear Liberation Front

…they’re coming for you, Steven Colbert

 

The Doclopedia #865

Random Stuff!: Britwan (AKA The Britwish Isles)

 

Britwan is made up of three main islands (Britwan, Dorland & Litria) and 47 smaller islands, the largest of which is Woygon and the smallest of which is North Rock. All of the islands were “conquered” by the ancient Britwish monarch, King Borton the Bold, about 1,000 years ago. This conquest was pretty bloodless and, in fact, was welcomed by the Dorlish faeries and the Litrian tribesmen, since Borton pretty much killed off all of the large & dangerous predators in each land and also brought much desired trade between the three lands. Everybody prospered and didn’t have to watch out fot dragonsnakes or tentacle bears, which is why there are statues of King Borton all over the place.

 

Dorland and Britwan have a pretty mild climate, while Litria is a good deal colder and wetter much of the year. Dorland has few mountains, but many rolling forest covered hills. Britwan has a few mountains, five broad river valleys, a chain of medium sized lakes and light forests everywhere but on the mountains. Litria is half rolling plains and half rough mountains covered in huge ancient forests. Litria also has the most mineral wealth of all the islands.

 

Magic is strongest in Dorland, fairly weak in Britwan and wild & dangerous in Litria. Magical creatures tend to be much like the magic on each island.

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The Doclopedia #866

Random Stuff!: A Very Useful Walking Cane For Gentlemen

 

As you can see, Sir Peter, this cane is hand carved from the finest mahogany, then hand polished. As one might expect, it holds a sword of the finest steel, but there are some other additions of note. The crystal globe that serves as the cane’s head is, in fact, the magnifier for one of the new electric torches that is hidden in the handle of the sword. It is quite bright and the batteries will give up to four hours of continuous light. Very handy, to be sure.”

 

Now, let us examin the other end of the cane. This last three inches are lead filled steal with very fine engraving. The lead allows quite a blow to be administered to ruffians, vicious dogs or wild beasts. If one goes a bit further up the cane to this carving of a dragon, we find that it slides back to reveal six waterproof matches. The carving of a griffon slides open to allow one to store a small item or two. Finally, back up below the handle, we see a compass imbedded into the cane and a carving of a lion that will nicely hold several pound notes.”

 

Oh, of course we can, deliver it along with your other items. Now, please allow me to show you a most remarkable pair of shoes.”

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