Lucy & Sasha Versus Satan’s Kitty

…mostly, Satan’s Kitty just sat on the fence and yawned while they barked

 

The Doclopedia #881

Random Stuff!: El Wimpo


The masked wrestler known as El Wimpo was, at first glance, not anybody that you would bet on to win a wrestling match. Standing 5’4” tall and weighing just 110 pounds, most other wrestlers dwarfed him. His squeaky voice and baggy homemade costume brought howls of laughter from everybody at his first event. This laughter lasted right up until he tossed El Toro Negro clean out of the ring in the first 15 seconds. Then, he tossed him back into the ring and pinned him. Total match time: 52 seconds. Since then, nobody has laughed at El Wimpo. With 168 wins and no losses, he is now the most popular luchador in all of Mexico.

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The Doclopedia #882

Random Stuff!: Diminsh Genitals Spell


This is the most hated spell in all of wizardom. It reduces the size of male genitals by 75% and lasts for up to a year. Just the threat of it has caused entire armies to turn tail and run. As such, it is now banned in 65 countries and 7 planes of existence. Even studying it can earn a wizard the death penalty in some places. Sadly, there is no Enlarge Genitals spell, although Murgolf the Magnificent once made millions selling a fake Enlarge Genitals potion.

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The Doclopedia #883

How I Got The Nickname “Doc”: The War Story

 

(NOTE: None of these stories are true. In this case, I was 14 years old in 1968.)

 

I got the nickname when I was a medic in the army in Viet Nam, back in 1968. I was there for a year and it was pretty terrible, so I don’t like talking about it.”
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The Doclopedia #884

How I Got The Nickname “Doc”: The Baby Story


(NOTE: None of these stories are true. In this case, all of my english teachers were past their child bearing years.)

“When I was a sophomore in high school, my english teacher, Mrs. Johnson, went into labor just as class was starting. Her water broke and she was having hella contractions. The paramedics were on the way, but that baby wasn’t going to wait. Nobody else knew what to do, but I was a farm boy and had seen plenty of other mammals give birth, so I was pretty much just able to catch the baby when it came out. It was a little girl and Mrs. Johnson named her Roberta. The paramedics arrived two minutes later.”

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The Doclopedia #885

How I Got The Nickname “Doc”: The Doctor Story #1

 

(NOTE: None of these stories are true. In this case, I am not an actual Doctor of any sort.)

 

I used to be a Doctor of Experimental Surgery, but I quit when those fools at the Institute condemned my experiments. Is is my fault that giving a human being wings won’t actually let them fly?”

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The Doclopedia #886

How I Got The Nickname “Doc”: The Doctor Story #2

 

(NOTE: None of these stories are true. In this case, besides not being a Doctor, if I was, I wouldn’t be a friggin’ economist.)

 

Yes, I have a Doctorate in Economics, but I’m able to earn much more money working in a restaurant. Besides, people don’t blame me when the economy goes in the shitter.”

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The Doclopedia #887

How I Got The Nickname “Doc”: The Doctor Story #3

 

(NOTE: None of these stories are true, although in this case…)

 

Oh, well, I’m a freelance gynocologist. Yeah, no office means low overhead and a less intimidating setting for exams. Also, I keep all of my instruments at body temperature.”

 

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