A Mink Wearing Pink Climbed Into A Sink To Have A Think

…he was on the brink and boy, did he stink

 

The Doclopedia #902

Useful Holiday Spells: Create Fruitcake Golem

If you want a helpful, yet mindless, servant for the holidays, try this spell. You’ll need about two dozen good sided fruitcakes, which you will cut up, then reassemble into a humanoid shape. Once the spell it cast, the golem (who will only be 3 feet tall or so) will be able to perform simple tasks for you, the creator. If you give it too complex a command, it will just stand there.

Being made of fruitcake, this golem will last for several years unless it goes out in the rain or catches on fire. We do not recommend building a very large fruitcake golem, since they can be clumsy and also sometimes go crazy and try to kill you.

The Doclopedia #903

Useful Holiday Spells: Alter Self To Santa

This is a variation on the popular Polymorph spell, but it only lets you make yourself look like Santa Claus or Mrs. Santa Claus. For every point of Mana you put into it, the spell will last 30 minutes longer than the basic 30 minutes. During this time, you look just like that chubby & jolly old elf in the red suit that all children love, or his equally jolly wife, if you are female. The best part of this spell is that you can eat the hell out of cookies & milk and never get full or gain a pound as long as the spell is in effect.

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One comment on “A Mink Wearing Pink Climbed Into A Sink To Have A Think

  1. djmatticus says:

    Let the cookie gorging begin!

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