Crazy Jimmy Jumps Out Of A Balloon

…and finds you can’t really parachute from 60 feet up

 

The Doclopedia #935

The Alphabet: Y

Y is for…Young Explorers League: Boys and girls, do you have a love of the exciting life? Do you enjoy solving mysteries and exploring new places? Are you smart and adaptable to every situation?

If so, then the Young Explorers League is the club for you! Join up and learn all about the world we live in, especially the exotic & unexplored areas! Hear exciting and informative presentations by some of the foremost explorers of our day! Go on hikes and camp outs in out of the way places that will test your skills! Meet new friends and learn things you never imagined! Compete in exciting events both here and abroad!

A new troop of the Young Explorers League is starting up in this city right now! If you are a boy or girl between the ages of 10 and 18, go sign up now. Dues are only $2.00 per year and you’ll get a a membership card and a year’s subscription to “The Y.E.L.L.” our newsletter. Join this week and you can attend our first meeting and hear a talk by Dr. Jones about archeology!

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The Doclopedia #936

The Alphabet: Z

Z is for…Zimbolio: Zithoraxos Quanniferti Zimbolio was the 228th Supreme Ruler of the planet Mataralis 4. He ruled from 2680 AD to 2761 AD and was the final Supreme Ruler of that planet. As tradition had always dictated, he was only ever called by his last name.

Having been educated on Earth, Wigahsix 3 and Pollux 7, he brought some interesting ideas to his reign. In fact, he caused a huge amount of social upheaval, most of which the Mataralians have yet to recover from now, 90 years after his death. Some of the things he did include…

Eliminating the annual Food Offering

Freeing the Smalts

Allowing females to dress in any color on any day

Making the first week of each month “Watch Human Television” week

Allowing the common folk to eat glins, soobecho, kimarnut and vaa.

Outlawing the worship of his ancestors

And most radical of all, declaring that he would end the days of a Supreme Ruler by not choosing a successor. Since this had never happened in nearly 6,000 years of their history, the government and the priesthood had no idea what to do. They argued over many ideas, but since most of them were distracted by colorful females or stewed soobecho or “Captain Kangaroo” reruns or those damned free Smalts, they never came up with anything and eventually just settled for a democracy.

When Zimbolio died, the entire planet mourned him. Afterward, everybody ate crispy vaa and watched “Hill Street Blues” reruns.

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