…from the July, 1956 issue
The Doclopedia #944
Pie!: Sausage Pie
“Here you go, folks, a nice hot sausage pie. Dig in, but mind that hot gravy. You know, the crust on this one really turned out nice. I think I might be learning how to cook. Heh heh heh.
Oh, I learned this recipe from an old Italian hunting dog, back when I was in the Canine Pup Scouts. He was helping us get our Tracking merit badges and we’d go way out in the woods to track everything from rabbits to bears. At days end, he’d cook up all sorts of tasty things, including a sausage pie like this one. Of course, his version was a good bit more rustic than this.
Those are sweet potatoes, ma’am. I swapped them in for the usual potatoes because they just taste so much better. Same thing with the addition of artichoke hearts. And you’ll notice I added herbs to the dough for extra flavor.
Don’t worry about not finishing. I’ll just give the table scraps to my human, Albert. He’s a good boy, but like all humans he’ll pass up his human food for a chance at dog food.
The Doclopedia #945
Pie!: Coconut Cream Pie
The Great Mutation Outbreak of 1998 can be traced back to an apprentice baker in St. Louis, Missouri who came to work after a night of partying with his friends in an old chemical warehouse on the outskirts of town. Apparently, several random chemicals had found their way into his hair without him knowing it. These then got into 24 coconut cream pies that he baked.
All of the pies were sold early and 6 of them were taken to other parts of North America, including as far away as Quebec. Everybody who ate those pies found themselves mutating into a hideous monster over the next 48 hours. Worse yet, of course, was the fact that their bodies leaked out a clear liquid that had the same mutagenic effect. This got into water supplies and things got far worse in the next two weeks.
Fortunately, the chemicals broke down a few days after they entered the water, so the outbreak was confined to North America. Once the government had eradicated all of the mutants, things went back to normal.