The Rare And Beautiful Six Legged Running Turkey Of Potawango Island

…tasty, but creepy looking and fast

 

The Doclopedia #939

Islands Of The Circle Sea: Skyrise Isle

Despite it being a totally ordinary looking island, Skyrise Isle is the most unique bit of real estate on the entire planet of Eltera. Every morning at dawn, this three mile wide island rises 1,000 feet into the air and stays there all day until the sun goes down. The various streams on the island rain down as waterfalls and the shadow cast by the island is greatly feared by all mariners. Nobody knows what magicks caused the island to float in the air, but it is known that it started around 275 years ago.

Aside from becoming airborne during the day, the island is a fine place to relax, gather up food and take on fresh water. Still, few ships aside from pirate vessels will do this due to fear of the tsunami the island is believed (falsely) to create as it rises & sets.

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Possums In The Flower Pots

…kind of cute, in an ugly way

 

The Doclopedia #937

Islands Of The Circle Sea: The Poadan Islands

Located in the Great Southern Bay, the eight Poadan Islands are a delightful rest stop for any mariner. From the smallest (Tornofu, 1.5 miles across) to the largest (Aralonfu, 26 miles long, 5 miles wide) you’ll find friendly people, lovely weather, great food & drink and peaceful relaxation. This last is strictly enforced by the Yarotodan Giants, a group of 10 foot tall humanoids who act as a police force and will not be gentle when arresting violators, who will spend three days in jail before being allowed to pay stiff fines.

The Poadan Islands are also noted as one of the very few places where one can legally buy Haakaanese Ship Charms. Outlawed by most of the Greater Civilizations, these charms allow ships to employ several useful magicks, depending upon the type of charm. Popular charms allow swift travel, a cloaking fog, iron hard hulls and the ability to sail against the wind without deploying sails. Most charms have 6-10 usages before falling apart.

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The Doclopedia #938

Islands Of The Circle Sea: The Island of Etradio

In the cold reaches of the Coldwaste Fjord lies a great rock of an island that is nearly devoid of life. On this island lies the stronghold of Etradio the Lost, perhaps the greatest scholar of the past few centuries. If there is an obscure fact about anything, Etradio almost certainly knows it. If he doesn’t know it, he can look it up quickly in his library of many hundreds of thousands of books and scrolls, some of which date back to the Great War. For a price…usually a very high one…Etradio will answer any question.

While getting to the island, and then to Etradio himself, is extremely difficult, it is even more dangerous to find yourself caught on the island after dark. You see, in exchange for his vast knowledge and a very long life, Etradio made a bargain with the Mad God. This bargain causes him to transform into a huge creature of terrible power and hunger every night. This is why very few living things call the island home and why visitors need to be out to sea by nightfall. Until the dawn, Etradio prowls the island seeking flesh, blood & bone to sate his terrible appetite.

Etradio is not called “the Lost” because he lives in such a remote location.

Crazy Jimmy Jumps Out Of A Balloon

…and finds you can’t really parachute from 60 feet up

 

The Doclopedia #935

The Alphabet: Y

Y is for…Young Explorers League: Boys and girls, do you have a love of the exciting life? Do you enjoy solving mysteries and exploring new places? Are you smart and adaptable to every situation?

If so, then the Young Explorers League is the club for you! Join up and learn all about the world we live in, especially the exotic & unexplored areas! Hear exciting and informative presentations by some of the foremost explorers of our day! Go on hikes and camp outs in out of the way places that will test your skills! Meet new friends and learn things you never imagined! Compete in exciting events both here and abroad!

A new troop of the Young Explorers League is starting up in this city right now! If you are a boy or girl between the ages of 10 and 18, go sign up now. Dues are only $2.00 per year and you’ll get a a membership card and a year’s subscription to “The Y.E.L.L.” our newsletter. Join this week and you can attend our first meeting and hear a talk by Dr. Jones about archeology!

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The Doclopedia #936

The Alphabet: Z

Z is for…Zimbolio: Zithoraxos Quanniferti Zimbolio was the 228th Supreme Ruler of the planet Mataralis 4. He ruled from 2680 AD to 2761 AD and was the final Supreme Ruler of that planet. As tradition had always dictated, he was only ever called by his last name.

Having been educated on Earth, Wigahsix 3 and Pollux 7, he brought some interesting ideas to his reign. In fact, he caused a huge amount of social upheaval, most of which the Mataralians have yet to recover from now, 90 years after his death. Some of the things he did include…

Eliminating the annual Food Offering

Freeing the Smalts

Allowing females to dress in any color on any day

Making the first week of each month “Watch Human Television” week

Allowing the common folk to eat glins, soobecho, kimarnut and vaa.

Outlawing the worship of his ancestors

And most radical of all, declaring that he would end the days of a Supreme Ruler by not choosing a successor. Since this had never happened in nearly 6,000 years of their history, the government and the priesthood had no idea what to do. They argued over many ideas, but since most of them were distracted by colorful females or stewed soobecho or “Captain Kangaroo” reruns or those damned free Smalts, they never came up with anything and eventually just settled for a democracy.

When Zimbolio died, the entire planet mourned him. Afterward, everybody ate crispy vaa and watched “Hill Street Blues” reruns.

Chapter 339: In Which Our Hero, Having Just Freed A Small Town From The Turks, Goes Off In Search Of A Sacred Pudding

…the Blessed Pudding of Saint Obie

 

The Doclopedia #933

The Alphabet: W

W is for…War Ducks!: In the 1980s & 90s, there were few graphic novels as popular as the War Ducks! series. Made up of War Ducks! (1983-1986), War Ducks!: Jungle Hell (1987-1991), War Ducks!: The Big Battle (1992-1994) and War Ducks: Hell Is War (1995-1998), they told the story of Colonel Grogan and D Company as they fought in an alternate World War Two on an Earth where human don’t exist and the supernatural does. The series was noted for a compelling storyline, excellent artwork and memorable characters. In 2003, a War Ducks! Animated movie was released which grossed 650 million dollars. A sequel came out in 2006 that grossed over 575 million. The third in the series is due out in 2010.

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The Doclopedia #934

The Alphabet: X

X is for…X Street Station: The X Street light rail/municipal bus station in Sacramento, California, appears to be an ordinary public transport station to most people. Buses pull up on one side and light rail trains pull on the other. It operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But like a certain train station in a series of popular novels, if you are in the know, you can step over onto Platform X and get to the buses and trains that service Secret Sacramento.

Like the regular Sacramento, the Secret City is actually Sacramento and a whole bunch of suburbs spread out over an area roughly 40 miles across. About 120,000 beings live in Secret Sacramento, most of them human.

To get to Platform X, you need to walk to the west end of the station and fine the edge of the concrete painted black. This is bordered by a hedge of lemon verbena, but don’t worry about it. Just walk straight on through with a strong mindset towards reaching Platform X and you’ll be okay.

It’s All Fun & Games Until You Cast The Wrong Spell

…and “Nuclear Flatulence” is ALWAYS the wrong spell!

 

The Doclopedia #932

The Alphabet: V

V is for…Violence Suppressor: From the New York Times, May 7th, 1886: Doctor Karellan has invented the Miracle of Our Age in his Violence Suppressor! His recent demonstrations in the Bronx and Manhattan have proven that his device is a godsend. When switched on, all violence within the area of effect, which our reporters determined was roughly three miles across, dropped within hours to nearly zero. Even the most deranged maniacs and hardened criminals became as docile as lambs. It is theorized that prolonged exposure to the vibrations produced by the device will even repair the minds of the insane.

This paper predicts that within the year, the good doctor will be installing these devices, which run on a slight amount of electricity, in cities across the nation and around the world. A new day has dawned and soon mankind will be free of the scourge of our violent urges!

From the New York Times, September 27th, 1898: Reports from the Army and Washington say that levels of violence and madness have dropped back down to pre-1886 levels in most areas of the nation. The number of dead and incarcerated will be tallied up soon, but is expected to number in the hundreds of thousands. Similar reports are coming in from around the world.

Shortly before his death from grievous wounds, Doctor Karellan stated that he had no idea or indication that heavy solar activity would shut down his Violence Suppressors, which had, up until two years ago, made this world such a better place.

Rice Creepies

…another cereal that never made it

 

The Doclopedia #930

The Alphabet: T

T is for…Tovanite Raiders: On the world of the Circle Sea, the Tovanite Raiders are one of the most feared pirate gangs. Using swift & small, but very tough ships, they attack in swarms of up to a dozen ships. They move towards their intended victims in an intricate pattern while laying down a constant cannon assault.

Once they board a ship, the Tovanites usually kill half the crew and all of the junior officers. This tends to make the survivors pretty docile and allow for the total looting of the ship. If the Raiders are feeling generous, they’ll leave behind a few days worth of food & water.

The Tovanite Raiders sometimes bite off more than they can chew, such as when 30 of their ships went after what appeared to be two large Molodrian merchant vessels, but were in reality a pair of Dintolian “Avenger” class warships in disguise. Only one of the Tovanite ships was left afloat, to give a warning to the rest of their fleet.

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The Doclopedia #931

The Alphabet: U

U is for…Unexpected Visitors From Outer Space: This 1961 black & white film was directed by the infamous cheapie filmmaker Harold Foonster. Noted for using slapdash scripts, has been or never will be actors, no budget effects and extensive narration that he did himself, Foonster nonetheless made money. On any given weekend. you would have been hard pressed to find a drive in not showing one of his signature triple features. Later, he sold his entire body of work to television stations at an enormous profit. Unexpected Visitors From Outer Space was the one film of the 67 that Foonster made that was actually pretty good. Today, it is praised by critics and beloved by fans of comedic science fiction movies.

In the film, a family of five aliens land near the small town of Brushy Corners, Texas, and assume human form. They enter the town and pose as distant relatives of old Mrs. Duncan, the town matriarch. From there on, the film is a slapstick romp built around the aliens trying not to be found out, the townsfolk trying to hide the fact that bootlegging is their primary business, a pair of UFO investigators attempting to prove that somebody in town is an alien and various people plotting various things with other people.

At just under two hours long, it is by far Foonster’s longest film. It also had the largest budget of any of them at $75,000.00, much of which was spent of special effects. The film made over three million dollars and the town of Rado, Texas, where it was filmed has an annual festival with showings of the movie and appearances by the actors, many of whom were locals.

A Wild Weekend In A Small Town

…that general store will never be the same

 

The Doclopedia #928

The Alphabet: R

R is for…Rindi Climber: Among the Tiny Folk of New York City, Rindi Climber is legendary for her skill and bravery. She is also widely thought of as being crazy as a loon. You see, Rindi likes to climb tall buildings using the minimum amount of equipment possible. There is hardly a tall building in the city that she hasn’t climbed at least once. Since few Tiny Folk ever live more than three stories above ground level, Rindi tends to be one of a kind.

On any given day, Rindi will be either climbing up a building or traveling to a building she means to climb. Her main source of transportation is her squirrel, Maks and her helpers at the actual site of the climb are her cousins Burlo Finder and Kiondi Looker. None of them climb with Rindi, although Maks will cheer her on from nearby trees until she is way above him. Once she starts climbing, Burlo and Kiondi take an elevator to the roof to await her.

Depending upon the building, a climb can take Rindi anywhere from five days to two weeks. She carries most of her supplies with her, but Burlo and Kiondi sometimes leave food caches at various points on really hard climbs.

Lately, Rindi has been hearing a lot of news about the really tall buildings in other places outside the USA. She’s thinking that she’s really like to climb that big building in Dubai some time. Kiondi is looking into flights there for her.

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The Doclopedia #929

The Alphabet: S

S is for…Spellcasting During Battle: If the various Earths where magic rules had a bestseller list, the book “Spellcasting During Battle” by Archmage Tolivorikus would be #1. Tolivorikus was one of the first battlemages and surely the most powerful of them all. He fought in wars and battles over a period of nearly 80 years, then retired to a peaceful life in the country, where he wrote the book.

Contained within the 350 pages of the book are chapters on why a mage would want to go right into battle in the first place…basic spell preparation…the usefulness of wands, ring staves and the like…what spells work best in what situations…enchanting armor & weapons and a very comprehensive list of spells. Everything is laid out in easy to understand terms and written with more than a bit of Tolivorikus’ wry humor. There are many illustrations, some in full color.

It is unknown how many copies of this book have been sold, but considering that one army alone, the Imperial Defenders of Walzaret, has 10,000 battlemages, each with a copy of it, the numbers must run very high.