…which is haunted by the Scary Monsters of Scariness
The Doclopedia #951
Things You Should Not Do: Tamper With The Laws Of Nature
“But Herr Doctor, you must not attempt this experiment! If Man had been meant to live alongside the dinosaurs, they would not have died out! The fact that this is 1887 and you are a man of Science changes nothing. If you use your Cellular Regenerative Chamber to create even one dinosaur, you will regret it, if for no other reason than the government will surely shut your laboratory down. Worse still, you will not be able to contain these beasts, even using your ElectroFence. When they escape, and I assure you they will, they will spread death and terror across the land!
I beg you, Wilhelm, stop this madness and return all of this amber to the museums you stole it from. Do it now and give up your idea of a Prehistoric Exhibition.”
The Doclopedia #952
Things You Should Not Do: Trust The Dame
“Yeah, I shoulda never trusted the dame, I know that now. But brother, I’m telling ya that when she walked into my office with that dress on and that angel face and those tears in her eyes, my good sense took the fast train outta town. She told me that sad story about her dead father and her thug of a husband and I just ate it up. By the time she got to the part about the missing 500 grand, I was ready to collect my Chump of the Year trophy.
Detective Nolan tried to warn me, but I brushed him off as a dumb cop. Georgie the Gimp had the goods on her, but I figured he was just trying to get a cut of the dough. No, I had it all figured out. I was the smart guy who was gonna help her get the money and escape her husband. Yeah, I had it all figured out.
Except that part where she damned near had me committing murder so her husband and I would both be outta the way and the part where she and that chauffeur of hers fled the country with all that money. Oh, sure, the police in France will be waiting for them when they land and they’ll be sent back here to do time for killing her father, but that won’t help me any. I’ve got more apologizing to do than a drunk in a china shop. And then there’s all the time and money I’m out and the busted heart I’ll be nursing for awhile.
Yeah, I shoulda never trusted the dame.”