Aliens Took My Artichokes!

…and a gallon jar of mayonaise

 

The Doclopedia #976

The Strange Corners Chronicle: July 15, 1861

OUR YOUNG MEN JOIN THE ARMY

Yesterday, 18 of the finest young men of this town rode off to Sacramento to catch the train east, so as to join the Army in opposing the Confederacy in this insane secession and war. Among them were the Wolf brothers, Andrew and James, who were so helpful in aiding Sheriff Tanner in stopping the cattle mutilations some months back. Another volunteer is Cal Gomez, our young printers aide who has promised to send us regular updates concerning the war. We are sure that he will be a first rate reporter. Before being sent off by nearly the entire town, Madame Palushka gave each young man a ring that she says will bring “good luck and safety”. We certainly hope they help our boys to return home safely.

SUMMER CROPS LOOKING GOOD

Area farmers have informed us that the crops now growing are looking very good. Uncommon light summer rains have aided things greatly, as have the noticeable lack of insects and rodents. This is in marked contrast to Round Valley, a mere 20 miles from here, where they are experiencing a plague of insects and rodents.

DAUGHTERS OF NATURE HOLDING WEEKLY MEETINGS

After being asked by this reporter, Mrs. Ceres Zane confirmed that the ladies club known as the Daughters of Nature have indeed been holding weekly meetings at her farm and have been doing so since early May. She reports that these meetings have been highly productive, although she declined to reveal any more to this reporter, a mere male.

STRAY DOG HAS A NAME

The medium sized shaggy dog that has been hanging around town this last month seems to have acquired a name by some strange consensus. Hereby known as Bob, the little fellow has shown himself to be both smart and brave, having chased a bobcat off the saloon porch and prevented little Mary Sweeney from being run over by a wagon. Bob seems to have taken up residence on the hotel porch and is available for petting or treats at any time.

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