The Secret Lives Of Dog Toys

…mostly, they lament being covered in spit.

 

The Doclopedia #996

Quick Recipes From Around The Multiverse: Nick’s Eye Opener Breakfast Genre: Pulp

So last night you had a full meal of double crosses, betrayal, lies and a real nice stab through the heart by a dame you thought you could trust. Then, for dessert, you got a good working over by a couple of no neck thugs, followed up by the cops asking a whole lot of questions before telling you not to leave town. Yeah, brother, you need Nick’s Eye Opener Breakfast…and you need it fast.

For starters, have a couple of shots of that bourbon you keep in your desk drawer. After that go throw a couple of gallons of could water on your face before you have a hearty breakfast of aspirins and growing anger at having been played for a chump.

Now, while that anger heads for a boil, salt it with a hefty desire for revenge on the Frenchman, his goons, that lying bastard from Boston and the two crooked cops you know are in on this. What the hell, might as well toss in the dame and that maybe not so dumb as she looks sister of hers. Yeah, that sister who might just have been the go between for Little Miss Heartbreaker and Frenchie.

Stir it all up and then call up Frisco Jim and see if maybe his boys might be interested in part of a big pile of stolen money.

Then serve it all while it’s nice and hot.”
.

.

.

The Doclopedia #997

Quick Recipes From Around The Multiverse: Hrog’s Mammoth Dinner Genre: Humor

Go hunting, like Hrog! Find many mammoth, then crawl in grass until close. THROW SPEARS! CHASE MAMMOTH! THROW MORE SPEARS! KILL MAMMOTH!

Cut off many big hunks of meat, like Hrog do! Take meat back to village. Stab long stick into meat, then place over fire. FIRE GOOD! HROG SAY SO!

While meat cooks, tell story of how Hrog was the best hunter in the group. Show how Hrog kill mammoth!

When meat smell delicious, take off fire, cut off slices for all tribe, then eat. Hrog eat more, so Hrog be strong to kill more mammoth!

Then sleep.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s