The Totally Sappy, Yet Still Quite Thrilling, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty and The Magical Party Dress

…co-starring her pet kitty, Ozymandias


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Amnesia & Magic

Part Four

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the man and woman with him are his parents. He’s looking even better than the last time I saw him, but his folks look about three steps from death’s door. I know what’s coming even before he speaks.

I’m really sorry to bother you, ma’am, but could you help my parents out, like you did me? Please? They’re really bad off and…”

His dad steps forward and looks me in the eye. His skin is ashen and hangs loosely on him. His hair is yellowing and he’s probably blind in one eye.

I have told Dak that this is not our way, so my wife and I will not ask or expect anything from you. We came along only to see if the rumors are true. We wished to see if you are the Bringer Forth. We can now see that is true and that you are busy with the Quest. We will bother you no more.”

My head is spinning like a top hearing all this. Bringer Forth? Quest? Rumors? I thought I was in deep before, but this makes me think that I’m in way deeper than I imagined. Jeez, woman, what the hell did you get yourself into this time?

He starts to turn away and without thinking I reach for his shoulder to stop him. When my hand makes contact, I get a hell of a jolt and everything around me just vanishes.

I’m standing in a garden behind a big Victorian house. I can look over our back fence and see the ocean a couple of miles away. My mom is hanging laundry on the clothesline and my twin baby brothers are playing with toy cars nearby. My mom is a tall woman, a negro. She’s beautiful and she’s singing a song about sunshine. Just then, a man steps out of the house. It’s my dad, who is this big…Cherokee Indian? He’s asking if we all want to go to the zoo later.

Now I’m going up the back steps of an apartment in New York City. I’m maybe 25 years old and I’m carrying a sawed off shotgun. We’re going to arrest a group of bank robbers. My partner is with me and he’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. It’s hard to keep my mind on business, because I’m thinking how we made love that morning.

Now I’m sitting in an office reading a newspaper. The office isn’t big, but it’s nicely furnished and clean. The door opens and my secretary, Telan, an Elf, tells me my noon appointment is here. She looks pretty healthy for an elf. She shows the appointment in and he’s a…

And then I’m back in the Ferry Building and the Elf is looking at me with a mix of shock, fear and joy. He’s looking healthier already. Me, I feel like I’m going to pass out, but I haven’t dropped me coffee.

He and the boy help me sit down. There aren’t any more shocks from them, so I guess it’s a one time thing per person. I’m gulping down coffee and I see that his wife is smiling and weeping. Oddly, nobody in the area seems to have noticed any of this. Magic, or just big city folks oblivious to everything but themselves? I don’t know, but I’ll take whichever it is.

After I’ve nearly emptied the coffee cup, I decide Dad Elf owes me some answers.

Ok, what the hell just happened there?”

He looks around, then sits beside me. The kid sits next to him and his wife sits across from us.

You have accepted a very important mission. A mission that means much to my people, but also means much to the ones who use the Power. You carry two things hold great Power, and very small amounts of this Power pass through you and into us when we touch for the first time. It heals and regenerates us. It also seals the Power within us, so that it cannot be tapped by human users.”

Wow! Not only did I make them healthy again, but I made them untouchable to Wizards and Mages. I’m surprised every Elf in the city isn’t looking for me. Dad Elf keeps talking.

I do not know or want to know what your mission is, but I will tell you that it is very dangerous. You will need help on it. To give you that help, I will send my son with you. Dak, go and buy a ticket for the ferry.”

The kid runs off and I’m getting ready to protest this until I give it another thought. I’m alone in this, my memory isn’t back yet and this is sure to have me mixing with Elves. Maybe the kid coming along, at least partway, isn’t such a bad idea. I nod to his dad to show that I approve.

The boy is very smart,” he tells me, smiling, “and he knows much of both the Elvish way and the ways of humans. He will give everything for you, if need be.”

Well, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, I’m thinking. I figure I’ll send the kid home when things get really rough, which could be sooner than later now that my memory is coming back. I give the area around us another quick look, but nobody sets off my trouble sense. Still, just because you can’t see trouble, that doesn’t mean it can’t see you.

Well I’ll be damned. That little quote about trouble was something my Dad used to say. The fact that I remembered that is not comforting.

At that moment, Dak returns with his ticket and the announcement is made that the ferry has started boarding. Dak’s mother hands him a bundle of clothes and they hug. When he goes to hug his father, I walk over to his mom and give her a big hug.

My gun is named Gladys. I love Mexican food. I will never drink gin again so long as I live. My mother’s favorite color is red. My ex husband was a tough guy, but scared of clowns. I’m a reasonably good cook. My older sister broke that window and blamed it on the dog.

I lost my virginity in high school to a sweet little white boy named David. It was not a bad experience.

My nickname is Mick, short for Michelline. I’m not a big fan of flying. My best friend, Jane, is the funniest person I’ve ever known. Billy “Two Guns” O’Donelly swore that he would break out of prison and kill me. He broke out of prison, but an hour later got run over by a truck.

I live in the same house I grew up in. I take the bus to work every day.

I’m a private detective. I used to be an FBI agent.

I remember all of that and when we break the hug, both of us are crying.

I’ll take good care of your son.”

She nods to me. She’s so much more healthy that she doesn’t look the same as she did before. She’s very pretty.

Go now, Bringer. Help my people and yours with whichever of the Three Ways you think best. Only your choice will be the right one.”

I want to ask her more, but next thing I know Dak is leading me onto the ferry. A minute later, the boat casts off and we wave goodbye to his parents. As we do, I see some big bruisers in suits enter the dock area.

Feds! Oh shit! They’ll get the ferry master to radio our ferry to turn back. Or maybe they’ll just come after us with a fast boat. Either way, things don’t look good.

Dak sees them and begins saying something in Elvish. When he finishes, all hell breaks loose back at the Ferry Building.


One comment on “The Totally Sappy, Yet Still Quite Thrilling, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty and The Magical Party Dress

  1. amdobritt says:

    Doc, you really know how to leave a reader hanging! As always looking forward to the next installment. :)

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