Mr. Porkwaffle Goes To The Beach

…where it seems he accidentally annoyed several sea lions.

 

The Doclopedia #1,007

Magical Pies: Cherry Pie Of Love

On Fantasy Earth 24-B, the making of magical potions, which universally tasted terrible and had a very short shelf life, has given way to the baking of little individual pies that not only convey magical effects, they taste great.

The first pie we’ll cover is the Cherry Pie of Love. If two people share this pie, they will find themselves falling deeply in love. The effects last for upwards of a year and if the people were in love to begin with, will last a lifetime.

Should only one person eat a pie, he or she will be filled with love for all his/her fellow sentients. This becomes problematic when that person enters a land inhabited by, say, goblins or orcs or demons.

If two people who hate each other share a pie, they will become tolerant and maybe even casually friendly. This is why diplomats often carry several of these pies on peace talk missions.

The secret to the best Cherry Pies of Love is to use tree ripened cherries from trees older than ten years and to put a bit of honey in each pie. These pies will keep unrefrigerated for up to a month.

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The Doclopedia #1,008

Magical Pies: Apple & Pear Pie Of Bravery

Our next magical pie is made with apples and pears that only grow in the mana rich soil of the Daza Mountains and the Uilon Valley. In fact, the apples and pears of this region are only ever used for magical pies.

Although these pies take at least two days to prepare and bake, they will keep for at least two months. The great Dragonslayer, Sir Garnagan of Waladis, once ate an Apple/Pear Pie of Bravery that was four months old. It imbued him with such bravery that he slew the Great & Ancient Wyrm of the South in less than 15 minutes. Of course, he did lose both legs and an eye, but still…

These pies are about 25% smaller than most pocket pies and cost anywhere from $5.00 to $9.00 each.

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