Horrid Finger Monsters

…made from horrid fingers, naturally

 

The Doclopedia #1,019

My Family: Sister Zoe

My older sister, Zoe, was pretty much your average girl as a child. She played with dolls, liked to read, played games and had a pet cat named Roger. She did well in school and helped around the house. For an older sister, she was ok.

Unfortunately, when Zoe entered puberty she started breathing fire. As one might imagine, this got her banned from most public and private buildings, including our home. Dad built her a nice fireproof little house out back, but being a teenaged girl with social problems, she was not happy with it.

As time went by things only got worse, until, during her junior year of high school, the lid blew off. It seems that Zoe was fighting with her boyfriend, feeling sorry for herself, getting teased by snobby rich girls and having issues with algebra. I didn’t see the explosion, but I’m told it sent a fireball up 3,000 feet into the air. I know that it pretty much vaporized 600 acres of prime undeveloped real estate that Zoe cut across on her way home from school. Now, 45 years later, the crater is a popular tourist attraction.

A couple of years later, Zoe was out of puberty and her teenage years and stopped breathing fire. She went to college and got a degree in Fire Prevention & Management, then married a firefighter named Gus. Thankfully, her three kids are normal.

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