Doctor Silkmelon Shows Off His Mechanical Hippo

…an amazing feat of engineering!


The Doclopedia #1,028

Girls Just Wanna Have Guns: Martina Olivera, The Shootist

Of Martina Olivera’s past, little is known. It’s a safe bet to say that, judging by her manner of speech, she was born to a well to do Mexican family. Where she learned to shoot with such speed and accuracy, nobody knows.

Martina’s first known shooting of another human being took place in El Paso, Texas in 1878, when she shot “Big Ben” Clarke, a local ruffian, in the crotch after he had accosted her on the street. Witnesses said that she drew her gun so fast they didn’t see her do it. The Sheriff declined to arrested, saying that Clarke “had it coming”.

As word of her gunslinging abilities spread, she was approached by many men and a couple of women who wanted to test her. Some she killed but many just got shot in their gun hand, ending their careers then and there.

Martina sometimes signed on as a guard for Wells Fargo stagecoaches or on trains. She was as good with her rifle as she was with her Colt pistols. She was also an expert rider and her horse, “Mama” was trained to do several useful tricks such as kick on command.

In 1898, after 20 years of living on the move, the now 39 year old Martina Olivera assumed a new identity as Maria Vasquez. A year later she married Judge Charles Upchurch in Portland, Oregon and became a loving stepmother to his three small children. She died in July of 1949 at the age of 90.


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