Vote For Ed Fettleminster!

…he’s not an asshole!

 

The Doclopedia #1,040

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: Goblins

1: Most goblins have a phobia about cheese

2: Goblins invented the spoon, but it was originally used as a weapon

3: On Fantasy Earth 2, 5, 11 and 31, goblins are the twisted opposite of dwarves

4: Goblins almost never found in deserts or icy regions. They don’t hang out at the beach much, either.

5: On Fantasy Earths 7, 14 and 45, goblins live in huge nomadic groups that ride giant chickens.

6: Divorce is almost unknown among goblins, but inter-marital homicide is very high.

7: Goblin warriors are often used as cannon fodder by ogres, hobgoblins and orcs.

8: After a big successful battle, many ogres, hobgoblins and orcs die of poisoning by goblin warriors.

9: On Fantasy Earth 6, goblins are peaceful and valued members of society.

10: Only 1 goblin in 3,000 can use magic. Oddly, they often end up as kings & queens.

The Doclopedia #1,041

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: Captain Steelheart

1: His heart really is made of steel. It was put into him by an old lover, a Tirkonian healer mage, when he was mortally wounded defending her.

2: He is ranked the 6th most feared pirate on the Circle Sea.

3: His ship, the “Ravager”, is one of the fastest around.

4: He is ambidextrous.

5: His pet monkeycat, Jeef, has roughly the intelligence of a 7 year old child.

6: He sometimes writes adventure fiction under the name “Sir Hanserd Kollop”.

7: Besides a mechanical heart, he also has an enchanted left ear and can hear things said a great distance (up to a mile) away.

8: He hates beets, liver and Mariskan kelp bread.

9: Most of his crew have been with him for nearly 20 years.

10: He likes to collect wine bottles, which he displays at his home on Dragonshark Isle.

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