Doc Tempest VS The Princess Of Death

…from the December, 1955 issue

 

The Doclopedia #1,110

The Alphabet: T is for…

 

Trout Pudding…

…(with or without herring sauce) has been a very popular dessert dish on CatEarth for over 300 years. Basically a vanilla pudding with finely chopped raw trout and a mix of small rodent parts, most humans would find it revolting, but most dogs would scarf it right down.

There are countless variations of Trout Pudding, with most families changing the recipe as they see fit. One of the more popular variations adds very tiny live frogs. Another calls for various insects to be sprinkled on top just before serving.

The Doclopedia #1,111

The Alphabet: U is for…

Uxonger & Sons…

…are the premiere booksellers of Adelaide, Australia. Their store is huge, roughly the size of an American Wal Mart, and packed with books, magazines, maps, photographs, pamphlets, comic books and newspapers. In addition to the main store, they also maintain two warehouses a few miles away. These are just as packed as the store is.

Alfred Uxonger prides himself on the fact that not only does his store have rare books found nowhere else, but everything in the store is listed by subject to a minute degree of detail. If you need a book on albino Red Tailed Hawks found in the Fresno, California, area between the years 1923-1933, it will be prominently listed on the shelf. Fortunately, Mr. Uxonger has a very up to date listing of every book in the story, cross referenced in about 100 ways or more. Naturally, book buyers are crazy about this.

Once in a while, you can find a book, etc, that does not come from the same reality that Uxonger & Sons inhabits. These books can range from amusing (Jeeves and the Batman) to very strange (An Anatomists Illustrated Book Of Trolls) to world changing (Do It Yourself Fusion Power). Bibliophiles often spend weeks searching for one of these strange texts.

Uxonger & Sons are open from 8:00 am until 10:00 pm Sunday through Saturday and from 8:00 am until midnight Friday & Saturday.

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My Other Dog Is A Mad Scientist

…and my other other dog is a geek and my other other other dog is a robot and my cat is too cool for school.

 

The Doclopedia #1,108

The Alphabet: R is for…

 

Royal Robotic Guardians…

 

…are the official guards of New Buckingham Palace and Her Majesty Queen Victoria. Built by Professor Dahlia Lindell-Phipps, these nine foot tall robots are the crowning achievement of Steam Age technology (so far). Each one of them is twice as fast as any human, as strong as a team of oxen and impervious to all but a direct hit from an artillery round. They are programmed to guard against any unauthorized intrusion, using extreme force if necessary. They are armed with a variety of weapons including mini rockets, swords, automatic rifles and flame jets. There are 32 robots on guard at all times.

The Doclopedia #1,109

The Alphabet: S is for…

 

Sasha Jane Cross…

 

…is a 5 year old Basset Hound who was born in Modesto, California in 2009. In 2012, she was adopted by Doc & Grace Cross of Sacramento and her adventure really began.

Her keen interest in science and technology was turned up to 10 when Sasha first stepped onto the “Magic Bus”, a vehicle capable of moving through time and space that Doc had bought from a doctor. Or maybe he won it in a poker game. The story changes.

At any rate, aided by the ultra tech knowledge of her late sister, Winker, and Joe, the quantum mechanic who came with the bus, Sasha was soon helping out with maintaining and improving the vehicle. By the time she had been part of the family for a year, Sasha could tune a temporal displacer or swap out a transmission with the best of them. No mean feat for someone who lacks opposable thumbs!

In the summer of 2013, faced with the imminent death of her sister Lucy from lymphoma, Sasha uploaded Lucy’s “katra” into an artificial brain and replaced the cancer ridden parts of Lucy with mechanical parts. The operation was a success, although eventually it was necessary to replace all of Lulu’s (her name was changed to reflect certain personality and memory alterations) organic parts with fully robotic parts. Sasha is very proud of her work and protective of Lulu, despite the fact that the robodog is nigh indestructible now.


In recent months, Sasha has completed a home study course in Mad Genetics from the Narbonic Institute for Mad Science. Despite a few somewhat deadly mishaps involving mutated gerbils, she finished the course with top honors. Shortly thereafter, she used her newfound knowledge to create a four tentacled symbiotic “land octopus” that can replace the mechanical hands she used to need to do any manipulation. When she is wearing this new set of manipulators, it is not a good idea to call her “Doctor Octopus”, since she has proven that she can throw an 8 pound cat 60 feet with ease.

Sasha lives a very comfortable life with her Dad, Mom, Basset Hound sister Daisy, robodog sister Lulu and the aforementioned 8 pound cat, her brother Flash. When not reading ultra tech journals or parts catalogs, Sasha enjoys fantasy fiction, roleplaying games, board games, bellyrubs, human food and monster movies. She and her siblings sporadically post on Twitter as @CritterAvengers.

You Can’t Trust A Smiling Demon

…you also can’t trust the frowning, laughing, crying, sleeping, thoughtful or amused demons

The Doclopedia #1,105

The Alphabet: O is for…

Ogres

…are found in most realities where there is Magic. In about 4 out of 5 of these worlds, ogres are big and ugly and very often not very bright. They tend to be violent and enjoy smashing up both property and other sentients. A very few will turn into stone when exposed to sunlight, but on most worlds, they can function in the daylight just fine.

On that fifth out of five worlds, ogres are different in some way. Examples would be the really large, but very smart, ogres on Earth 17. They can and do learn Magic, but they aren’t particularly violence prone.

The ogres of a few other realities are not ugly, but merely homely. They stand a foot or so taller than the average human and pretty much have ordinary societies.

The ogres of Earth 109 are a strange mix of common ogre and predatory alien. Fortunately, they are really big and noisy, which makes them easy to kill.

The Doclopedia #1,106

The Alphabet: P is for…

Paulette 3K3

…is the most famous AI actress on Earth 88. She has won dozens of awards and starred in the long running webseries “Yellow World”. Her movies include “This Time, It’s Personal”, “Daughters & Moms”, “Cybernalia” and the 2110 remake of “Gone With The Wind”.

When she is not acting, Paulette 3K3 lives on her personal island paradise somewhere in Cybersea Beta. She is married to the well known game star, Drake Gunner, star of the “Guns & Monsters” game series.

The Doclopedia #1,107

The Alphabet: Q is for…

Questioning Beast

…is, to be totally honest, one of the most annoying creatures you’ll ever encounter. Thanks the 56 Gods it’s only found on the Earth where humans all have blue skin.

If you’ve ever been around a small child who constantly asks you questions that quickly devolve into repeated uses of the word “Why?”, you’ve got a good idea of what the Questioning Beast is like. The main difference is that small children don’t weigh two tons and it doesn’t kill and eat you if you stop answering their questions. On the other hand, when the small child gets bored and walks away, it doesn’t poop out several thousand dollars worth of gold nuggets. Of course, the Questioning Beast does often ask much more complex questions to begin with, so you earn your gold.

The Questioning Beast wanders the world cloaked by a stealth field that renders it invisible and soundless. It only drops this field to ask a question. The humans of that particular Earth tend to be a bit jumpy, but they also tend to be very well read.

Eat More Prunes!

…it’s the American thing to do!

 

The Doclopedia #1,103

The Alphabet: M is for…

 

Melvin 4…

…was the final android created by the Mad Scientist known as Doctor Zero (real name: Harold Alan Olmstead). His aim had been to create a killer android that could pass as an ordinary nerd. Melvin 1 had looked the part, but was too aggressive when confronted by bullies. Melvin 2 was much more a wimp, but had a tendency to short out. Melvin 3 was a vast improvement all around, except for the time he blew up while walking across a college campus.

Not to be deterred, Doctor Zero, spent two more years refining and constructing Melvin 4. When he was done, he had an incredibly realistic looking nerd who could pass for human and was also a perfect killing machine. Doctor Zero could now activate his plan to get Melvin 4 into the Science Police headquarters, where the android would then slay everyone who got between it and the Forbidden Science Vault. Soon, using that Forbidden Science, Doctor Zero would rule the world!

Melvin 4 functioned perfectly while at university. In fact, he did so well that Doctor Zero only monitored him once in awhile. Melvin 4 got straight A’s, made some nerdy friends, played Dungeons & Dragons and even got himself a girlfriend. Doctor Zero was unaware of that last bit. He was also unaware of the fact that, the night before graduation, the fully functional Melvin 4 had sex with his girlfriend.

 

As we all know, having sex for the first time pretty much reprograms you and such was the case for Melvin 4. He really enjoyed sex and women and humans in general. He was feeling very good indeed as he accepted his diploma and went to work at the Science Police. He moved in with his girlfriend, started a new D&D group and got a cat and a dog. Life was good.

 

On the day that Doctor Zero was supposed to give Melvin 4 the signal to begin his killing spree, the Science Police raided his lair and hauled him off to Science Prison. Melvin Fore, as he was known to the world, got a promotion. The next spring, he and his fiancée got married. Two years later, they adopted a baby.


The Doclopedia #1,104

The Alphabet: N is for…

 

Nixiwix…

…is a pixie village located in the Faewood near the confluence of Wikkatti Creek and Singing Stream. About 500 pixies live there and another 500 live within a mile, mostly on small farms or in pixiewood trees. The village is nearly 400 years old and well known for being home to some of the finest singers and dancers in the Faewood. They also brew potent potions for pixies to use on humans when they venture into the Faewood on less than honorable missions. Such potions often create intense fear, hallucinations and incontinence.

On Mid-Summers Day, the residents of Nixiwix hold a large and quite rowdy celebration that culminates in the singing of many Old Songs and the election of a new mayor. The next day, everybody sleeps in late.

Creepy Lemurs Bullied My Voles

…and now my voles are crying

WOOHOO! Doclopedia entries!

The Doclopedia #1,102

The Alphabet: L is for…

Labrador Deceivers…

…are a very special breed of dog found on Earth 3. They are not used for hunting waterfowl or retrieving anything from the water. Instead, these large and very powerful dogs are used to hunt sasquatch, which on Earth 3 are deadly predatory ape men that can be found all over North America and parts of Siberia.

Playing upon the fact that a sasquatch will not hesitate to eat a dead or dying animal, these dogs lure them to their death at the hands of hunters by pretending to be dying a loud and horrible death.

When the Labrador Deceiver gets the scent of a sasquatch, it falls to the ground and begins to thrash about in what looks like agony. It howls and cries and screams, which draws the curious ape men near. As soon as a sasquatch gets close enough, the dog goes for it’s inner thigh or even genitals. In this moment of pain and surprise, the hunter can usually get off a good clean shot.

Labrador Deceivers average 125 pounds for males and 100 pounds for bitches. They can be any color or combination of colors. They have long hair and loose skin and the longest canine teeth of any breed. On the whole, they are very gentle and loving companions with children and other animals. They can live up to 20 years.

Luzornia…

…is a democratic republic, one of only 4, on the Earth of the Circle Sea. It is populated by not only the native Luzornians, but a large number of Destilons and Tevrini, both of whom are refugees from their warring countries. Luzornia is noted for producing fine wines and cheeses, but most of all it is known for controlling the Straits of Luzor and welcoming pirates into the port city of Hanj. Because of this attitude towards them, no pirate will ever attack a Luzornian ship and they have often come to their aid. Many other countries are not happy about this, but as long as Luzornia controls the straits, they have to just suck it up.

The Straits of Luzor are three miles wide and can be closed off by an ancient magical device that the Luzornians keep well hidden. When closure is activated, the straits are dotted with huge whirlpools and sharp rocks, through which no ship can ever pass. Fortunately, the straits have not been closed for nearly a century. Ships passing through the straits are charged a fee dependent upon the value of their cargo and/or number of passengers. Pirate ships, whose crews spend far more time and money in port, are charged only a very small fee.

Luzornia is a land of rolling hills and light forests. Half of it lies on the northern side of the straits and the other half lies on the southern side. For those who are interested, we suggest a room temperature creamy Kukala cheese and a slightly chilled bottle of Arzkillia Double Red wine.