Creepy Lemurs Bullied My Voles

…and now my voles are crying

WOOHOO! Doclopedia entries!

The Doclopedia #1,102

The Alphabet: L is for…

Labrador Deceivers…

…are a very special breed of dog found on Earth 3. They are not used for hunting waterfowl or retrieving anything from the water. Instead, these large and very powerful dogs are used to hunt sasquatch, which on Earth 3 are deadly predatory ape men that can be found all over North America and parts of Siberia.

Playing upon the fact that a sasquatch will not hesitate to eat a dead or dying animal, these dogs lure them to their death at the hands of hunters by pretending to be dying a loud and horrible death.

When the Labrador Deceiver gets the scent of a sasquatch, it falls to the ground and begins to thrash about in what looks like agony. It howls and cries and screams, which draws the curious ape men near. As soon as a sasquatch gets close enough, the dog goes for it’s inner thigh or even genitals. In this moment of pain and surprise, the hunter can usually get off a good clean shot.

Labrador Deceivers average 125 pounds for males and 100 pounds for bitches. They can be any color or combination of colors. They have long hair and loose skin and the longest canine teeth of any breed. On the whole, they are very gentle and loving companions with children and other animals. They can live up to 20 years.

Luzornia…

…is a democratic republic, one of only 4, on the Earth of the Circle Sea. It is populated by not only the native Luzornians, but a large number of Destilons and Tevrini, both of whom are refugees from their warring countries. Luzornia is noted for producing fine wines and cheeses, but most of all it is known for controlling the Straits of Luzor and welcoming pirates into the port city of Hanj. Because of this attitude towards them, no pirate will ever attack a Luzornian ship and they have often come to their aid. Many other countries are not happy about this, but as long as Luzornia controls the straits, they have to just suck it up.

The Straits of Luzor are three miles wide and can be closed off by an ancient magical device that the Luzornians keep well hidden. When closure is activated, the straits are dotted with huge whirlpools and sharp rocks, through which no ship can ever pass. Fortunately, the straits have not been closed for nearly a century. Ships passing through the straits are charged a fee dependent upon the value of their cargo and/or number of passengers. Pirate ships, whose crews spend far more time and money in port, are charged only a very small fee.

Luzornia is a land of rolling hills and light forests. Half of it lies on the northern side of the straits and the other half lies on the southern side. For those who are interested, we suggest a room temperature creamy Kukala cheese and a slightly chilled bottle of Arzkillia Double Red wine.

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