The Seriously Funny, But Also Educational, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The League Of Extraordinary Game Designers

…co-starring her trained oyster, Merline


The Doclopedia #1,124

Creature Features: Comrade Dracula

Back in 1966, a group of radical artists with Communist leanings decided to make a horror movie that glorified communism. Why they chose the horror genre is a mystery, but the result was “Comrade Dracula”, a film that was long on strange anti-capitalist rants and soft core sex, but very short on actual horror.

The story, such as it is, finds Dracula hanging out with Lenin and Marx, then turning up in modern day New York to help overthrow the US government while biting the necks of young rich girls. This neck biting somehow turns them not only into vampires, but dedicated commies. They also gogo dance.

The entire movie runs 77 minutes and played in less than a dozen theaters worldwide. It was not allowed into the Soviet Union or Cuba.


The Doclopedia #1,125

Strange Bandanas: The Light Blue One

I own hundreds of bandanas. Many of them have strange stories connected to them. Here is one…

The light blue bandana was given to me by a Hindu mystic back in 1902, when I was visiting Calcutta on business. He gave it to me as thanks for helping his village dig a new well.

The bandana seems entirely normal until I place it on my head, at which point it begins to glow with a bright light. For the next five minutes, I gain the ability to speak to one of the Lesser Forces Of Light. This being usually tells me where to shop for the best bargains on meat, fresh produce and cheese. It also gives extraordinarily accurate weather reports. Once the 5 minutes are up, the bandana stops glowing. I can use it once a day.

I often wonder what sort of bandana I would have gotten if I’d helped those villagers build a small dam.


The Doclopedia #1,126

Strange Bandanas: The Yellow & Green One

I own hundreds of bandanas. Many of them have strange stories connected to them. Here is one…

I found this bandana in a small, out of the way thrift shop in Cleveland in 1989. The woman who ran the shop told me it was a rascally little bandana, then sold it to me for fifty cents.

She was correct in her assessment, for this bandana soon proved to be quite the little scamp. It loves to hide deep in the bandana pile or climb up on top of bookcases. When it’s really feeling naughty, it will hide in the towel drawer, waiting to leap out and scare me.

Despite all this, it is a gentle and affectionate bandana that loves to be worn out in public, especially when I go to the movies.


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