Golden Weevils

…I have no idea where that came from


The Doclopedia #1,139

Road Signs: Steep Grade

On Smart Earth, where education is mandatory everywhere and most folks have 3-4 degrees, you’ll often see this road sign as you drive the last mile to one of the more exclusive universities. It references the fact that if you have less that a B+ average after the first semester, you’ll probably get kicked out. At the end of the second semester, it better be an A average or they’ll start calling you “the slow student”.

The Doclopedia #1,140

Bad Dogs: Amelia, The Irish Setter

On DogEarth, there are some pretty bad dogs. Amelia O’Barker is one such canine. Born in Ireland, she came to the United States at age 5 and immediately started up a gang of the toughest bitches she could find. Before long, they were deep into extortion, gambling, drugs and a host of other rackets.

Amelia rules with an iron paw and enforces her rule via “The Big Girls”, three Saint Bernard sisters who strike fear into the hearts of everyone they meet. These enforcers are thought to be responsible for several murders and at least a dozen forced neuterings of members of the “West Boston Growlers” gang.

Amelia O’Barker is a 10 year old Irish Setter. Her fur is deep red with blond highlights. She usually wears gray business suits and has a nickel sized notch in her left ear. She has a pronounced Dublin accent.

The Doclopedia #1,141

Bad Dogs: Doctor Petey

Of all the evil masterminds on DogEarth, Doctor Petey is the most feared. A master of planning, he uses his insanely loyal followers and high tech gadgets to take whatever he wants, spreading fear and destruction along the way. He has several secret lairs around the world, with his favorite being the one beneath New York City.

Doctor Petey started out as Petey Wagtail, a genius pup born to poor Staffordshire Terrier parents in San Francisco in 1922. By the age of 4, he had started down the path of evil and was soon gathering up the funds and technology he would need to launch an attack on the law abiding world.


The only reason Doctor Petey has not conquered the world by now is that he has been thwarted at every turn by the likes of Mystery Hound, Lois Woofer of the FBI and Agent 333 of Her Majesties Secret Service. These do-gooders and their associates always seem to gain the upper hand at the last moment.


Doctor Petey is a 12 year old Staffordshire Terrier with a mostly white coat that has black spots in a few places. He usually dresses in expensive suits and wears a monocle in his left eye. He effects a German accent, but is not German at all. He is often accompanied by his right hand man, Max, a miniature poodle. In his spare time, Doctor Petey enjoys fine food & wines, building deathtraps and dropping enemies into a tank full of sharks.


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