It’s Raining Cats & Blogs!

…I wasn’t even trying on that one.

The Doclopedia #1,169

Murder By…: Monotony

I dunno, Captain, was it really suicide? I mean, sure, he shot himself in front of six co-workers, but I wonder. See, by asking around, we found out that he had formerly been one of the brightest and most creative guys in the advertising department at Amalgamated Widgets. Earned lots of dough, took vacations, all that. Then something happened and he’s down working on the widget packing line 10 hours a day. Six days a week for a couple bucks over minimum wage.

I had Nomura check him out and it seems he had some big financial setbacks about a year ago. According to rumors in the typing pool, that was right about the time he ended an affair with the wife of the big boss, J. Albert Wiggins. Witnesses say that just about the time his financial shit hit the fan, he gets called into the office and fired, then offered a job on the line, which he took.

Now, you’d think a guy like that could get another advertising job in a blink, but that wasn’t happening. Seems old man Wiggins made sure that the victim’s name went on a blacklist. It also seems that most of our victim’s debt was held by Overland Bank, which is owned in part by J. Albert Wiggins.

So I’m thinking that Wiggins forced him onto that mind numbingly boring job knowing that it would push him over the edge. Think about it. A brilliant creative guy used to the high life and now he’s just another drone ass deep in debt and going nowhere. Then, one day, he pops his cork and blows his brains all over those widgets.

Yeah, yeah, I know there’s no way to prove it or get a conviction, but you’ve gotta admit, it was a hell of a way to get a guy dead. Murder by monotony, for Christ’s sake.”

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