The Rare And Beautiful Wandering Muskrats Of Potawango Island

…they wander about doing good deeds


Dog Con 7


Day 7: In which we reach Alaska, a moose gets rescued and we have an amazingly mosquito free marshmallow roast.

8:00 pm

We rolled across the border of Canada and into Alaska about 10 am this morning. Another state I can cross off my list!

We were only about 50 miles into Alaska when we spied a young moose who seemed to have gotten her foot stuck in between some logs. We sent Lulu out to move the logs and the moose was soon free. She thanked Lulu and then posed for pictures before ambling off into the forest.

(Lulu: Her name was Gertie. She was only 2 years old. She was very polite.)

(Jazz: Wow, they grow ’em big up here.)

One thing you learn really fast about the North is that it is full of mosquitoes that travel in huge swarms and love to attack travelers, be they two legged or four. Commercial repellant works for about 5 minutes, then apparently turns into barbecue sauce.

(Daisy: Mom must be prime rib for mosquitoes. They loved her.)

(Sadie: They love dogs, too!)

(Flash: A fucking mosquito bit me on my nutsack!)

(Leon: Fortunately, I lack that problem area.)

(Silky: I got bitten twice on the nose!)

Because of this, most of our excursions outside the bus to look at nature were very short for everyone but Lulu, Sasha & I. Lulu is, naturally, impervious to mosquitoes and Sasha has handled so many strange chemicals that she may not even smell organic to mosquitoes. As for me, mosquitoes just don’t seem to think I’m tasty. My traveling companions have come up with many borderline funny reasons why this might be.

(Daisy: Auntie Avis suggested that they didn’t like the taste of Portuguese.)

(Lulu: Mom suggested that they didn’t like the taste of old farts, but then auntie Mary pointed out that they bite Uncle Spike.)

(Jazz: I think Dad is just too spicy for them because of all the hot sauce he eats.)

Anyway, we wanted to have a marshmallow roast in the small campground we found, but the mosquitoes were looking to make it a no go. Finally, Sasha grabbed a jar and told Lulu to go get some mosquitoes in it. Once that was done and Lulu was back inside with the jar, she told Lulu to “run program D-999-Gamma”.

(Lulu: I didn’t even know I could do that!)

(Sasha: You can do a lot of things you don’t know about.)

(Lulu: What the fuck?????)

Lulu scanned the mosquitoes with some sort of eye beam, then stood really still for a moment before emitting a high pitched pulse of energy.

Every mosquito in that jar exploded. Then Sasha told us that every mosquito for FIVE MILES had suffered a similar fate. She then explained what happened, but I sorta tuned it out after “sympathetic vibrations”.

(Sasha: It works on cruise missiles, too.)

So we then toasted marshmallows of various flavors, drank cocoa and sang songs, all in a mosquito free environment. I love my dogs.

(Silky: Tummy…full…of marshmallows. Must sleep now.)

(Roxy: Yes…must nap.)

(Sasha: Good times.)

Now, we watch movies. Tomorrow, we invade Alaska for real!

Destination Sign when we started: Jokertown

Destination Sign when we stopped: Under Your Bed

Music: All Jethro Tull, All The Time


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