Gnome Or Mister Nice Guy

…see what I did there?


Dog Con 7

Day 11: In which we hike in a rain forest, view an interesting collection, see the coolest Giant Jesus yet and have a birthday party.

11:30 pm

We went up to the island of Kauai today and took just a hell of a hike up the Grand Canyon of the Pacific into the rain forest that happens to be the most rainy place on Earth. Almost no rain fell on us. It was crazy humid and very warm.

(Flash: Holy crap, it was hot! I felt like I was drowning.)

Daisy: Auntie Avy said much the same thing.)

(Jazz: Try having long fur in that heat!)

The hike was fun, but tiring and slow because some in our merry band are not as young and slim as we once were. Still, the frequent stops to breath and/or have mild heart attacks did allow us to see many beautiful tropical plants and birds. At the spot where we ended our hike, there was a cool and refreshing pool in the stream that we all took a dip in.

(Leon: I’m not much for swimming, but that pool was great!)

(Flash: Damn right! I dove right in that sucker.)

(Sasha: Me too! It was nice in there.)

(Sliky: Unfortunately, we couldn’t get fully dry until we were back on the bus.)

(Sadie: Yeah, that kinda sucked.)

The hike downhill was much faster and easier, if no cooler than the hike up was. Once we were back at the bus, there was eating and resting to be done, along with cool drinks and the blessed air conditioning.

(Roxy: Oh yeah, air conditioning for the win!)

Once we were all revived, we went to see “Mister Hokana’s Flotsam & Jetsam Collection”. The venerable and very funny Mr. Hokana started this crazy collection of stuff he has found on Hawaiian beaches when he happened upon a stretch of beach covered in frisbees one day. Later, he found a beach covered with sneakers. From there on, he began taking an example from each bunch of stuff he found washed up after cargo containers were lost at sea. He’s got 24,000+ items by now, which he stores and shows off in an old coconut packing shed. His strangest item is a 12 foot tall wooden rooster that was supposed to go to a fried chicken joint in Oregon.

(Sasha: Man, he had tons of cool stuff in there!)

(Sadie: And it all smelled strange.)

He only charges a buck to tour the place and it’s worth ten times that just to hear an 80 year old Japanese Hawaiian guy crack jokes about the stuff in his collection. We bought t-shirts, fridge magnets and bumper stickers that said “I saw Mister Hokana’s Giant Cock on Kauai”.

(Flash: Heeheehee!)

From there, we went to Maui to see the “World Famous Giant Jesus Of The Pacific”, which was totally cool because…

A: He was 100 feet tall

B: You could take an elevator to the top of him
C: He was depicted as being Hawaiian

D: There was Hawaiian music blasting from him.

(Daisy: This guy Jesus must have been on tv or something.)

(Roxy: Must have been during the 1960’s, because he’s obviously a hippie.)

The view from his head was great and there was a 7 foot tall version of him you could pose with for pictures. I put one of my bandanas on his head when I posed with him.

(Flash: Us cats all climber up on top of him for our pics.)

(Daisy: We dogs posed like we were sniffing his butt or crotch. Hahaha.)

Our day ended with a big birthday party for Grace. We had fresh fish for dinner, then cake and ice cream, then games and more games. The critters all sang her a birthday song that Daisy wrote to the tune of “Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad” by Meatloaf.

(Silky: Daisy did a good job on that song.)

And now I’m gonna walk all the critters before bed. Tomorrow we’ll be back in California and heading to Texas while having the bachelor/bachelorette parties.

(Sasha: Tomorrow, those parties are going to be SO hella cool!)

Destination Sign when we started: Ringworld

Destination Sign when we stopped: Skull Island

Music: Country & Western Music from 1935-1960


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