Bucky & Squint Take A Goose To The Movies

…not their best idea

CatCon 8

Day 9, Con Day 2: It’s all about the warm mud!

This morning, a great number of us had breakfast at Waffles From Outer Space!, which I may have mentioned in the past has BACON & BUTTER FLAVORED SYRUP.

(Sasha: Every year, Daddy buys a 5 gallon jug of it to take home. It seldom lasts beyond January.)

After loading up on some crazy good waffles, we all went off to do various con stuff until it was time to meet up for out annual outing to the Mud In Your Eye Spa.

This year our group of spa goers numbered 20 and with the exception of Leon, we all slid into our tubs of warm mud.

(Leon: HELL NO! You humans & dogs have lost your damned minds.)

As always, laying in very warm mud for 45 minutes drinking mimosas is pretty darned relaxing. We chatted about all sorts of things, including the 24 hour Killer Dungeon that started at 10:00 am.

(Silky: I was so relaxed, I dozed off.)

(Daisy: So did Mom, Auntie Avis and Uncle Peter.)

After the mud soak came the massages and we all pretty much fell asleep. When we were awakened, we got dressed and, relaxed and full of energy, hit the con again.

(Silky: Mom, Sasha, Auntie Holly & I walked around the Dealer’s room.)

(Sasha: Notice how nobody called me Doctor Octopus?)

(Silky: Well duh! After you slapped that 350 pound, 6’2” guy around yesterday, they all fear you.)

(Sasha: Mmmm…tasty human fear!)

Spike, Brian, Peter & I had a seminar panel (Alarums & Excursions: The Monthly History of Roleplaying) to be on. Avis & Mary sat in the audience, which was pretty big.

(Daisy: Leon & I went to play in the Dogs & Cats Team Up For Charity arena game.)

(Leon: We played a Barbarian Swordsbitch and Wizcat!)

(Daisy: We finished second. A Doberman and a Tonkinese won the event.)

(Leon: $4,600 raised for the SPCA, baby!)

Later, we all had dinner at Chez Mom’s. I ate about half of a large meatloaf. Grace had a slab of catfish filet that was bigger than Daisy.

(Sasha: I am SO FULL!)

(Leon: Yeah, full of…)

(Sasha: I will skin you out and make a rug out of you, catboy!)

(Leon: GULP!)

Now it’s time to go play in that killer dungeon, then go to the Midnight Dance & Ice Cream Social.

More thrilling stories tomorrow.

To Grill A Mockingbird

…first, get your grill nice and clean

CatCon 8

Day 8, Con Day 1: It’s all about the LARPing!

Note: For info on the new names that appear below, see previous con reports.

On top of the gaming, seminars (two for me, three for Spike), GMing (me, Brian, Peter, Daisy),

(Daisy: I ran a dogs only Paranoia game. It was hilarious.)

eating (Pancaketown, Big Slabs O’ Meat, Ring of Fire)

(Sasha: I love Big Slabs O’ Meat! I want to live there.)

(Sadie: Oh yeah, love that meaty goodness!)

and other frivolity, we joined about 200 other folks, human & otherwise, for a village adventure LARP entitled “The Secret of Winkleville”. We all played villagers, with the exception of myself, Avis, Silky and a goat named Reggie, who played agents of the King. Unbeknownst to us, Grace, one other woman, a cat and a pig were playing agents of the Queen.

(Sasha: I played Sookie Fullbottom, a halfling artist.)

(Daisy: I was Wurfee, the ghost hound. I pretty much scared the crap out of everybody.)

(Leon: I was Rudolfo, the wizard’s familiar.)

(Sadie: I played Mrs. Junkins, a cranky old woman.)


It was a fun three hour LARP and mysteries were solved, love was declared, evildoers were vanquished and a Belgian Malinois was elected mayor. I should also add that at one point, the agents of the King & Queen got into a duel. Grace was about to run me through with her sword when we all sighted our mutual enemy, Baron Thugg and gave chase. We eventually caught him and hauled him off to jail.

(Daisy: Mom is still giggling about beating daddy in a sword fight.)

After the LARP, we all went off to do other stuff. Right now, we are resting up before attending the First Annual CatCon Film Festival.

More bloggage tomorrow.

White Drunks On Pope

…Irish Catholics, no doubt

CatCon 8

Day 7, Con Day 0: It’s all about the goodie bag!

We arrived in Critter City about 10 am this morning, after stopping for a hearty breakfast at Chuckwagon Jim’s, a pretty darned good place to eat.

(Silky: Biscuits & gravy for dogs!)

(Leon: Fried catfish for me!)


Our rooms were ready for us at the Hilton, so we were able to unpack and get set up in record time. After that, we started off for the convention center to get our badges and goodie bags.

When we saw the con center, we all stopped dead in our tracks. There, above the entrance, was a big mural depicting Lulu (back when she was still Lucy) & Flash winning the big Dog Race. Under it were the words “Goodbye, Lucy/Lulu & Flash. We will miss you.” Several of us cried.

(Daisy: It was beautiful!)

(Sasha: I bawled like a puppy.)

Once we composed ourselves, we went in and got our stuff, then went over to Mink’s Cold Drinks (run by Ed & Georgia Mink) for refreshments and to check out the swag. The inventory was…

A great looking con t-shirt

(Silky: I got a red one.)

(Daisy: Mine was orange.)

The con book, which looked like a 1930’s Popular Mechanics magazine

A deck of “Muskrats: The Gathering” cards

Coupons for many businesses in town and in the dealer’s room.

(Sasha: Including one for dinner at Chez Mom’s! Yum!)

A comic book about the adventures of Captain CatCon

A miniature. Mine was a pig wizard.

(Daisy: I got a rabbit barbarian.)

A snack box containing a chocolate chip cookie, a bag of M&Ms, a bag of Critter City Chili & Lime potato chips.

(Daisy: The snacks were different for critters. Venison chews! YUM!)

A “Make The GM Re-Roll Once” ticket, usable in any game at the con.

(Daisy: I predict these will see much use.)

Assorted fliers for Various old & new games

A token for one free beer (human or animal approved) at Moses & Jeff’s Texas Brewpub.

(Leon: Non-alcoholic beer for cats? A Sadine IPA? I’m in!)

A small booklet of photos from the previous seven cons.

(Silky: Lots of pics of us and those no longer with us. Very nice.

While we sat and checked that stuff out, many friends found us. We made dinner arrangements to all meet up at Thai One On! For dinner.

Now we’re all heading back to our rooms for a short nap and then some goofing off before dinner.

More blogging tomorrow

Luis Gato And His All Cat Mariachi Band

…they were pretty good for, you know, being cats

CatCon 8

Day 6: In which we travel through a jungle in North Dakota, then pretty much kill a joke in Fargo

A quick introduction for today’s stop on our trip: The World Famous Amazon Jungle Of The North.

The short story on this one is that Eric Gunderson, son of a very wealthy railroad baron, inherited lots of money in 1924 and went on a world tour of the great wilderness areas. Apparently, old Eric fell in love with the Amazon rain forests and decided to replicate them back home in North Dakota.

(Sasha: North Dakota used to smell like farms. Now it smells like natural gas wells.)

By 1928, he had built four connected buildings totaling 300,000 square feet and containing a real rain forest full of Brazilian plants & animals. It now covers 4.75 million square feet and is the home to 115 species of mammals, 160 species of reptiles & amphibians, 139 species of fish, 3,238 species of insects & invertebrates and 4,401 species of plants.

(Silky: Wow! This place totally smells of LIFE!)

(Leon: Yeah, and some of it is life that will eat you!)

My friends, this place is TOTALLY COOL! A river runs through the jungle, which now includes some hilly areas. You float along on rafts with guides as birds fly overhead, monkeys watch you from the trees and all sorts of fish (and large caimans) swim next to you.

(Leon: See my above statement.)

We all really enjoyed ourselves and took lots of pictures. It was thrilling and at one point, I had to stop Sasha from leaping off the raft to go swinging through the trees.

(Sasha: “I’m an ape dog, I’m an ape ape dog, yes I’m an ape dog! I’m a King Kong dog, I’m a voodoo dog, yes I’m an ape dog!”)

(Sasha: With apologies to the Kinks.)

We learned that species are breeding so well in this indoor jungle that the excess is being sold to zoos & sanctuaries or actually being returned to the ever shrinking Amazon. Pretty cool.

After the tour, we ate at the attached restaurant and then bought about a million bucks worth of touristy stuff.

(Daisy: Including cool jungle print dog & cat collars!)

Before we left the Great Northern Prairie, Sasha and I played a little joke on the city of Fargo. We’d been planning it for months. Using a bit of time manipulation, we went in at 3:00 in the morning and placed 500 large wood chippers, all painted in neon colors, around the town. We thought it was hilarious. The rest of our traveling companions were less amused.

Oh, relax, Fargo. They’ll all disappear in about 24 hours.

Right now, the bus is parked at the Pearl Cross West Texas Nature Preserve, named for Great Aunt Pearl who left this life back in March at the age of 110. The RV park here is a nice little 30 acre place. Aunt Pearl would have liked it.

(Sasha: I’ll miss Aunt Pearl and her biscuits & gravy.)

(Daisy: And chicken fried steak!)

Tonight, we dine on Texas barbecue and then get our shit together for the con. More blogstuff tomorrow!

Destination Sign when we started: Opar

Destination Sign when we ended: Riverdale

Radio Station of the Day: YRKO, Dolvarion Blues Station, circa 2468

The Rare & Beautiful Hopping Red Barrel Cactus Of Potawango Island

…try to stay out of their way

CatCon 8

Day 5: In which we recreate a hair raising ride, experience nature & Stupid Tourist Tricks and then just eat the hell out of ice cream

Glacier National Park, so far: To start with, I need to point out that on our first trip here (DogCon 3, in 2010), our Magic Bus was 32 feet long. This meant that it could’t traverse the Going To The Sun Road, the only road that bisects the park. This is because, due to the narrowness of the road and the steep dropoffs and the lack of guardrails along much of it (due to winter avalanches), no vehicle over 21 feet may go all the way through the park. To solve that problem, we simply made the bus into a shorter, 19 foot bus.

Now, the Going To The Sun road is cut right into the sides of the mountains, with steep hills on one side and steep drops on the other. Many of our party back then were a bit put off by this.

(Sasha: Having heard Mom, Auntie Sharon, Lucy & Flash recount the ride, I’d say “terrified” is the proper word.)

So as to prep everyone for this year’s drive, I ran us all through a cool virtual reality version. The results were less than great.

Grace hid in our bedroom. Silky joined her.

(Silky: NOT a fan of long drops!)

Leon disappeared for the whole trip.

(Leon: I was hiding in a cupboard. Flash was right, Uncle Doc is insane.)

Avis read a book and only looked out the window twice.

(Daisy: Auntie Avy is not insane.)

Spike seemed unfazed.

(Sasha: He even brought us drinks.)


Daisy buried her head under a pillow next to Avis

(Daisy: When my death comes, I don’t want to see it.)

Mary & Sasha sat right up front next to me and made ghoulish jokes about crashing off the mountainside.

(Sasha: And we sang a couple of songs, like “She’ll Be Crashing Off The Mountain When She Comes” and “Sixteen Pieces” (to the tune of Sixteen Candles).)

(Sasha: I’ll also not that in a rare showing of common sense, Daddy barely broke the speed limit throughout the entire trip.)

Things are indeed scenic and wonderful and natural and fucking near glacier free here. Thanks a bunch, global warming. We saw a fair amount of wildlife on the way up (we are now at about 8,200 feet altitude). When we got to the scenic viewing area at the top of the road, everyone left the bus (some faster than others) and we took in Nature’s Splendor. We also took in, as with last time…

Stupid Tourist Tricks!

Trick #1 was some dipstick trying to take a selfie with a couple of bighorn sheep in the background. The sheep did not find that amusing. Seconds later, they were chasing the doofus down the mountain. He escaped them by rolling and bouncing about a mile.

(Silky: Several of us who have either given birth or are just old laughed so hard we peed ourselves a bit.)


Trick #2 involved yet another dummy, this time a hipster guy, feeding marmots. Allow me to recount how this went in 2010.

There was the woman who was feeding peanuts to the marmots. After a few minutes, there were about 50 peanut jonesing marmots around her. Then she ran out of peanuts. You’d be surprised how fast a chubby middle aged woman can run when pursued by a seething horde of high altitude rodents.

When the hipster ran out of nuts, the marmots were on him like zombies on a slow runner. Luckily for him, he panicked and ran right off the side of the mountain. He rolled almost as far as the bighorn sheep annoyer, shedding marmots the entire way.

(Leon: I will still laugh about that when I’m old and dying. What a maroon!)

(Sasha: Talk about saying “Fuck you, hipster!”)

Trick #3 was the big finale as a teenaged girl, pissed off because there was no cellular coverage way up there, threw her iPhone way out into the open air off the mountainside. I’m guessing it went 2-3 miles before hitting a big rock. She realized what she’d done almost immediately and started to cry. Her parents & two younger brothers were no help, doubled over with laughter as they were. Then, to really ice the cake, a ranger told her she’s be fined $1,000.00 for littering unless she walked down and picked up all the pieces. As we were leaving, she was just passing Marmot Boy and Sheep Guy as they were staggering uphill.

(Daisy: I think her parents might have laughed themselves sick.)

(Leon: Bet your tail that her brothers will never let her live that down.)

After all that fun, everyone went back into hiding/whatever on the bus for the ride down to St. Mary’s, which was pretty much all on fire, necessitating us to make a jump to western North Dakota, where we decided to have a Pig Out On Ice Cream And Play Boardgames night. I think we must have eaten 40 kinds of ice cream.

(Leon: Tuna flavored ice cream? Hell yes!)

(Daisy: I like how Auntie Avy kept saying “well, maybe I’ll just have a bit more of this non-dairy ice cream”. That Fresh Peach had her hooked.)

(Sasha: Some day, I shall do a monograph on how much ice cream Daddy can eat. I think it defies laws of physics and biology.)

Now, it is time for bed. More thrilling trip reportage tomorrow!

Destination Sign when we started: The Sea Of Green

Destination Sign when we ended: The Motara Nebula

Radio Station of the Day: MERB, Martian Rock & Roll Radio, circa 2109

FOOOOD FOOOORRRR DOGGGGSSSSS! With Extra Stinky Sauce.

…dogs love the stinky sauce

CatCon 8

Day 4: In which we revisit a legendary roadside attraction and a tear or two of joy is shed.

It was in Dufur, Oregon, in 2010 that we went to see the World’s Largest Toilet paper roll, which was actually TWO huge competing rolls that were destroyed minutes later when their creators went batshit crazy. We all shed tears of sadness

(Sasha: I heard from Lucy that only Daddy shed any tears.)

For three years, the world was bereft of a giant toilet paper roll, but folks, I’m very happy to report that there is now an All New World’s Largest Toilet Paper Roll! HUZZAH!

Created by grandsons of the two original loonies, with help from several of their Cal Tech buddies, this roll was made in only 3 years and is twice the size of the other two COMBINED! No kidding, folks, it’s like 110 feet tall and set up in a weatherproof, climate controlled building. It’s beautiful!

(Daisy: Can you guess which of us chose this place to stop at?)

(Silky: Our Daddy is “special”.)

We paid our $25.00 group rate and went in to see things up close. There is a really nice presentation on the original rolls, with pictures and home movies. Then you see the story of how they were unraveled (much like the two old farts who did the unraveling) and how the grandsons vowed to rebuild this World Famous Roadside Attraction. There is an in depth explanation of the robotic toilet paper roll switcher that they built, as well as the rolling mechanism. It is inspiring.

(Sasha: Mom said it nearly inspired her into falling asleep.)

(Daisy: Auntie Mary wondered how many butts you could wipe with that huge roll.)

(Leon: I’ll never understand the human butt wiping thing.)

The place also has a well stocked gift shop, where we bought bumper stickers, fridge magnets, t-shirts, etc. I will wear my “I saw the World’s Largest Toilet Paper Roll in Dufur, Oregon” t-shirt with pride.

After seeing that attraction, we pretty much just hung out in the bus the rest of the day. Really, what could top what we had seen?

(Sasha: Ok, folks, here’s the real lowdown on Daddy. See, he REALLY likes goofy shit and that goddamn bigass toilet paper roll seems to hold a special place in his heart. So when we all got back on the bus and we all saw how satisfied Daddy was, we just didn’t have the heart to suggest going on to another place. Instead, we all went sliding in the Slide Room, explored the Warehouse, played games and had dinner at the Cobalt Club in an alternate New York, circa 1933.)

Destination Sign when we started: Mystara

Destination Sign when we ended: Frostbite Falls

Radio Station of the Day: WNYC, New York City, circa 1933

Mr. Feathers, Private Duck

…quack quack, tough guy!

CatCon 8

Day 3: In which have encounters of the canine kind and, late at night, there is a dog party.

A few years back, we were near Boise City, Oklahoma, when we saw a sign advertising the Dog Days Festival and we knew we’d have to stop. Turns out that Dog Days is a big gathering of dogs and their humans and it was hella fun.

We stopped there again today and it was just as much fun as before, except maybe for Leon, who is a cat and therefore not the target audience. Still, even he had some good times, what with being the only kitty for maybe 5 miles and people wanting to pet him.

(Leon: Yeah, it wasn’t so bad, especially with The Girls telling other dogs to shut up and show some respect.)

There were hundreds of dogs present, including at least 22 other bassets. We wandered all around eating snacks, listening to music and talking with dog owners.

(Silky: One booth had venison jerky snacks for humans and dogs. They were great!)

(Daisy: I only came in fifth in the Longest Ears Contest. Some Bloodhound from Tulsa won first place.)

We got t-shirts and dog collars and all manner of chotzkies. I even picked up 2 new bandanas. The big finale of Day One was a bluegrass concert and a barbecue.

Well, that’s not quite true.

(Sasha: Here it comes, folks.)

Since I am a member of the Frequent Urination Society, I had to get up about 2:30 am to take a leak. During that time, I could faintly hear music and other noise coming from somewhere in the bus. I went to take a look and when I got to the Meadow Room, I saw that a full on dog party was going on. Must have been 80 dogs in there. They were dancing to some dogpunk tune and barking and chasing each other and rolling around in fresh compost.

(Sasha: The song was “Hot Piss On a Cops Leg” by The Leghumpers.)

I saw Silky talking with a couple of black Labs, Daisy dancing with a Beagle and Sasha acting as DJ. I stood in the door for about 10 seconds, at which point they all smelled me, then saw me. Except fot The Girls, everyone was out of there in under 30 seconds. I then just said “BED!” and the three party hosts trotted off to bed while showing various levels of guilt.

(Daisy: It was Silky’s idea!)

(Silky: I said “let’s invite a couple of dogs over to talk for a bit”.)

(Sasha: I regret nothing!)

The next morning I told Grace about it and, in a moment that dropped all of our jaws, she merely said “Oh well, girls will be girls!”.

(Daisy: Daddy asked her if she was a pod person.)

More bloggage later.


Destination Sign when we started: Kandor

Destination Sign when we ended: Highway 61

Radio Station of the Day: KFRC “The Big 610” circa 1968