The Happy Holiday, Yet Somewhat War On Christmassy, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Hannukah Harmonica

…co-starring Patty’s friend Rabbi Rabbit

Sasha Explains It All

More About The Magic Bus

If there is one thing folks always seem to have questions about, it’s the Magic Bus. This is pretty understandable, since it is unlike anything most sentients here on Earth (or for that matter, about a zillion other planets) ever encounter. Today, I’m going to do a bit of a FAQ for you, Dear Reader. It should clear some things up.

What powers the bus?

For all of our electrical power, we use Mr. Fusion power generators. Now, these are larger ones, about the size of four big refrigerators. Each one could power about 30 standard suburban homes. We have 120 of them, because we have a lot of stuff to power and we have triple backups. For our weapons system, which we hardly ever use, we have a Mr. Fusion the size of a house. Same goes for our shielding, which we use pretty often. Oh, yeah, the same type of house sized unit powers the DocCave, too.

The Space/Time Unit and the Bus itself are powered by a sort of system that is based in several interstitial sub-realities and I can’t even begin to understand how it works. Joe understands, but if he thinks about it for too long, he gets a nosebleed and then faints.

Who/What are the SmartBots?

They are sentient artificial lifeforms, like Commander Data on Star Trek: the Next Generation, only they are not that human looking. They live to serve and are darned good at it.

Early on, they looked kind of like a taller R2D2 with clunky mechanical arms, but they’ve been upgraded a few times and now look more like C3PO crossed with Iron Man’s armor. Of course, their number of arms varies, too. Jeeves, who is the majordomo and Daddy’s gentleman’s gentleman (I laugh every time I type that) & Mrs. Hudson, who is Mom’s ladies maid, only have two arms. Alton, Julia and Jacques, our kitchen staff, have four arms each. Fry, Laurie, Larry, Moe, Curly, Lucy and Ethel all have anywhere from 3 to 6 arms. Their personalities vary and are much like their namesakes, except that the general staff is far less goofy.

The SmartBots are all powered by batteries that can run full tilt for 3 days between charges, but the bots still plug in every night.

Can the Magic Bus travel through outer space?

Technically, yes, it can. The bus is totally sealable and has full life support capabilities. It also has a warp drive. However, due to reasons relating almost entirely to Daddy being Daddy, it won’t do space travel. When asked why not, the T-Computer only says that we get up to enough mischief here on Earth and on alternate Earths.

Now, there is a caveat to this. If the bus gets loaded onto a spacefaring craft, it can go into outer space. We have used this loophole to visit several versions of Mars, Venus, the Moon and other places in the solar system of other realities. We also went to both Vulcan and the Klingon homeworld once. I’m pretty sure we won’t be invited back to either of them.

Is the Magic Bus alive?

Oh yes, she is. The T-Computer, which is the heart & soul of the bus, has been uploaded with hundreds, maybe thousands, of katras from various beings. The latest of those was my sister, Winker.

The T-Computer/Bus has a very wry sense of humor and is very protective of her “owners”. She also likes to screw around with us by changing the sizes of rooms or just adding a new room or two with no notice.

That’s all for now, folks. I hope this answered some of your questions. You can always send more questions or comments to me via our Facebook page SashaDaisySilky or Tweet me at @CritterAvengers.

Until my next rant,

Dr. Sasha Jane Cross, PhD

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