The Doclopedia # 1,236
The Crazy Game: Variation #196
Number of players: 7 to 16
Uniforms: Berets, tie dye scarves, one black sock
Playing field: 157 feet by 271 feet. Must be grass covered and must contain at least one small mound about 7 feet across and 18 inches high at the center. Can contain up to 4 small trees.
Minimum equipment: 10 pounds of lard, 4 regulation baseballs, 19 old coats, 2 large (3’x3’x3′) boxes, 5 wooden dowels 1 inch in diameter and 1 to 3 feet long, a very large pig, 33 right handed gloves, 5 empty 1 gallon plastic milk jugs and a bowling ball.
1: Lard must be spread only on baseballs, the pig and 3 of the milk jugs. The remaining lard is now an obstacle.
2: Only 1 wooden dowel may be carried by any team member, who shall be known as the “Stick Dude”. While carrying the dowel, he is worth 7 points and 2 Special Stick Points.
3: The goals are located at two opposite corners, but only for the first 375 seconds of the game. After that, they will be moved around at random every 11 minutes by the Referees.
4: Moving the bowling ball to the top of the mound is worth 12 points on Tuesdays, Saturdays and Sundays before 4 pm. At all other times, it is worth 10 points.
6: The Secret Zone will be no smaller than 6 square feet and will move a random distance every 23 minutes.
7: Tripping is okay. Biting loses 16 points per bite.
8: You lose 3 points every time you lose your sock, beret or scarf.
9: Flopping and resting for 5 minutes is worth 4 points, except in September when it is worth 7 points.
10: You get a point for every foot you drag an old coat. You cannot drag the same coat in a half hour.
11: Every other hour, the Pooping Penalty goes into effect for 9 points per poop. Peeing is never penalized.
12: 3 points for every glove destroyed.
13: The Front Backer on each team can only move in left turns.
14: Each team can make 3 additional rules.