Moon Juice And Star Biscuits

…mmm, moon juice

 

The Doclopedia # 1,234

The Potawango Island Bestiary, Part Two: Popping Yellow Watermelons

 

From the notebook of Dr. Thaddeus Silkmelon:

 

As I stated in my last post, we had two rather disastrous encounters with nature and the second one was with a plant. Specifically, it was with a fair sized patch of very large yellow watermelons that looked much like the ones grown by members of Pagoona’s village. These were easily three times as large and somewhat glossier looking, but we only took that as a sign of extreme ripeness.

Having just walked at a brisk pace for the last few miles so as to get clear of the many amorous moose, we were all ready for a rest and a nice juicy slice of melon. So it was that Mrs. Hardapple, Miss Abigail and Smiffy walked out into the patch to survey the melons and choose a ripe one while Pagoona, his men and I, sat under a tree to rest. Abner and Colonel Orpington were some yards away washing up in a stream and changing clothes.

I should have suspected something was up when my dog, Percy, and Mrs Hardapple’s cat, Fanny, began walking off to situate themselves behind a large fallen log. While tolerant of one another, this sudden buddying up was quite suspicious. I can only blame the heat and my aching legs for dimming my perception of animal behavior.

What happened next was spectacular, if also startling and very messy. Mrs Hardapple bent down to “thump” one of the melons and when she did so, it exploded with a loud pop. That would have been bad enough, coating our rather volatile cook with melon as it did, but it also set all the other melons to exploding. In less that a minute, the surrounding area, our gear and all of us who were near or in the patch, was covered in the pink interior and yellow rinds of watermelon. I now saw the wisdom of Percy and Fanny taking up their position.

It took us the better part of an hour to get ourselves and our equipment clean, during with great numbers of birds landed in the melon patch to eat and eventually distribute the seeds. It took the better part of two hours for Mrs Hardapple to stop cursing.

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The Beautifuly Illustrated, Yet Not At All Artsy Fartsy, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Gerbils That Built A House

…co-starring her good buddy Satina Spoodles

 

 

The Doclopedia # 1,233

The Potawango Island Bestiary, Part Two: Yellow Crested Horny Moose

 

From the notebook of Dr. Thaddeus Silkmelon:
On today’s journey to the now not so distant mountains, we encountered two species, one animal and one vegetable, that while not dangerous, where quite annoying to certain members of our party.

It was while we were walking near a lake in a pine forest that we had our first encounter with what Miss Abigail Saltgrass christened the Yellow Crested Horny Moose. About 75% the size of a typical moose, this young fellow was of a lighter shade of brown and adorned with a shock of bright yellow hair atop his head. He was calmly eating water plants and looking at us curiously as Abner moved in closer for a photograph and Colonel Orpington went with him to observe the creature and take notes.

The first thing we all noticed was that the young bull was entering a state of sexual arousal. Naturally, we all looked around for a female moose, but we failed to see her. It was then that Mrs. Hardapple rather crudely noted that the moose was looking lustfully at Colonel Orpington. When told this, the Colonel swore rather loudly while Abner removed himself from the vicinity at great haste. Colonel Orpington also began running, with the aroused moose in hot pursuit. Unfortunately, as he was running and cursing, he had the bad fortune to fall onto his hands and knees at the edge of the lake. In a flash, the moose was upon him.

Allow me to state right here that I am sorry that the Colonel, a decorated and brave military man, had to hear the hysterical laughter of our female contingent and Smiffy. I was able to muffle my mirth as I ran with Pagoona to chase off the moose who seemed totally intent on making, as Miss Abigail later put it, “hot moose love” to the Colonel.

We were, after about a minute of hitting the moose with sticks, able to drive it off. But no sooner were we helping the now terrible embarrassed and angry Colonel up off the ground than we heard Abner running back out of the forest pursued by yet another oversexed moose. For a man of rather pudgy physique, Abner was reaching near Olympian speeds until he, too, tripped and fell. It took us somewhat longer to reach him and hhis moose was somewhat larger and more determined.

We are now camped some miles from moose territory and both Abner and the Colonel are still in very nasty moods. The rest of us are keeping quiet and not looking at them.