The Highly Entertaining, But Still Edgy, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Evil Orange Chump

…co-starring her mule, Patrick

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The Doclopedia #1,328

News Of The Multiverse: International News

Beijing, China, Earth 287-E: The 3,206th Offering of Peace To The Great Dragon King ceremony took a troubling turn when dissident worshipers of the Tiger God set loose hundreds of cats. The Great Dragon, who measures 1,200 feet long, took great offense to the act and flew away after giving the Chinese government until the next full moon to prepare a new and even more lavish ceremony or face his wrath.

Monterrey, Mexico, Earth 6-C: The mutant luchadore known as El Jaguar Rojo (The Red Jaguar) is now into his third day of battling the villain trio known as Las Hermanas de la Muerte (The Sisters of Death). About half of the city has been evacuated. While property damage is low and there have only been 16 deaths, mostly police, the citizens fear the rotting disease that the sisters can induce, as well as their ability to create zombies. It is expected that El Hombre Bestia (Beast Man) will join Red Jaguar in this fight within a few hours.

Lubbock, Texas, Earth 1-H: Favorite Son Buddy Holly, who celebrated his 81st birthday back in September, has announced that he has penned three new songs for Bruce Springsteen, who will include them on his next album. Although Holly retired from touring in 2006, he has continued to write songs for other performers, including Paul McCartney, John L:ennon, Tom Petty, Dolly Parton and Janis Joplin.

New Arcadia, Wazz, Earth 301-B: Queen Kerros has given birth to twin boys in the Royal Oak Palace. The new Princes, Dattit and Garlon, follow their older sister, Bolind, as heirs to the throne. Their father, King Andorset, has declared the next week as a Royal Time of Celebration. Mother and sons are doing well, the Court Physician reports.


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