The Slightly Late, But Nevertheless Pretty Darned Thrilling, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Pork Chop Of Doom

…co-starring her younger brother, Half Blue Harvey

The Doclopedia #1,335

It’s A Trap!: In A Castle

I’m kicking the door open! Grindfal, get a spell ready. Rolf, follow me inside the room. Sirina, you fill anything that isn’t Rolf or I full of arrows. Sister Blueberry, a blessing might be nice.”

“Oh, Great Mother, bless our little group against the goblins we think lurk in that room.”

<sound of door being kicked open way too easily>

“SHIT! It’s trolls! Two of them! It was a trap!”

<sound of trolls hitting adventurers…adventurers hitting trolls…arrows being fired…magic missiles hitting…assorted cursing>

OW! Great Mother above, I’ve been hit by an arrow. Look out! Goblins to the right!”

“Heal yourself, then Brann, Sister! Eat Arrows of Flesh Rotting, goblin scum!”

<insert much louder sounds of fighting…cursing…screaming (mostly in goblin)…roaring>

“Quick, quick! Up the stairs! I’ll hold them off with a fireball!”

“I’ve got ye, Brann! Let’s get away while them trolls burn.”

“Blessed Mother, please heal my wounded leg, then allow your humble servant to smite those fucking goblins with a weakness of the bowels.”

<insert sounds of fireball exploding…much roaring and screaming…running up stairs>

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One comment on “The Slightly Late, But Nevertheless Pretty Darned Thrilling, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Pork Chop Of Doom

  1. Prayers said with cursing. I wonder just how many times I have done that. An explosion at the end, seems fitting. Can’t trust goblins, I guess, but trolls are worse.

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