Doc Tempest And The Earthquake Master

…from the May 1939 issue

The Doclopedia #1,363

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “K”

K is for: Kong

Kong is the main HarvestBot in the dome. His name is derived from the fact that he was built by the King Robotics Plant in Helium Dome. He is fine with the name.

Like most HarvestBots, Kong was made to harvest a wide variety of fruits & vegetables. He can harvest 10 hectares of most vegetables in under 8 hours. He is not programmed or equipped for berries, but can cut grapes. He is not built to harvest grains.

Kong is a rather somber fellow, but does enjoy singing opera arias while he works. He is rumored to be a closet blues fan.

Chapter 28: In Which Our Hero, Having Recently Been Robbed By A Masked Spaniard, Makes Friends With An Otter

…and plots his revenge


The Doclopedia #1,362

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “J”

J is for: Javier O’Toole

Javier is a fairly recent immigrant to Mars, having arrived with his new bride ten years ago. He came to Gardener Dome specifically to take over running his uncle’s avocado farm in Tower Farm 12. Since he has taken it over, he has increased production on the first 4 levels and added 3 more. He is the 5th largest avocado producer on the planet.

Javier is also a breeder and shower of Martian Terriers. His dogs have won many awards in both the show ring and in agility competitions. His Grand Champion stud, Smooth Eddie, is the winner of over 100 medals in both categories.

Javier is 5′ 10” tall, has curly black hair, brown eyes and likes to wear a cowboy hat. He and his wife, Cora, have three children.

The Second To Last Jedi

…he retired early and didn’t get killed


The Doclopedia #1,361

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “I”

I is for: Iggy Pup

There are 5,643 Smart Dogs on Mars. Iggy is one of them. He is known around the dome as both a reliable businessdog and an irrepressible goofball.

The business Iggy is in is the buying and selling of livestock. He buys from local farmers and sells wholesale to grocers in other domes. He is partners with his two younger brothers, Dave and Oscar. Their reputation in business is spotless and the have the awards to prove it.

Outside of his business, Iggy, is known for doing stand up comedy, coming up with wacky ways to promote Gardener Dome (he once dyed himself green and did a tour of the major domes as “Veggie Hound”) and putting on a retro rock festival every year in nearby Meadow Dome 29.

Iggy is a Labrador/Malinois mix. He is 31 years old and is mostly black with touches of gray on his face. He is married and has 6 children. He was born on Mars.

Here Comes Pam, The Talking Vacuum Cleaner!

…dogs & cats are terrified of her

The Doclopedia #1,360

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “H”

H is for: Hespy Mikks

Hespy (real name Hesperidia) is a native of Gardener Dome, having been born there 16 years ago. She lives with her parents and two younger brothers in Tower Farm 7 on the south side of the dome. Their 7 story farm has 5 stories of fruit tree orchards and two stories of nut trees.

Known about town as a young woman of great ambition, Hespy has a variety of small business ventures going at any time. These can include babysitting, dog washing, selling her famous apple cookies and generally running errands for folks. She is also a very good singer and guitar player and often performs at local eating and drinking establishments.

Hespy is 5’11” tall and has long blonde hair, Her eyes are blue. She expects to go to UOM Barsoom Campus after she graduates from high school next year.

Mexican Jenny Had A Way With Cats

…none of them ever tried to kill her

The Doclopedia #1,359

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “G”

G is for: Gilbert Gardener

Gil, as everyone calls him, is the founder of Gardener Dome. He is also the oldest person in the dome at age 90. Everyone like him and he is very proud of the dome’s success.

Gil was born in the Bradbury Dome complex and grew up on a farm there. Upon graduating college, he went into the hotel business, opening a small hotel on Olympus Mons. It proved to be very popular with tourists from offworld and within 5 years he expanded it and opened another at Valles Marineris. Ten years later, he owned 11 hotels and resorts across Mars.

Then he sold them all and applied to build a primarily farming dome. When the 15 kilometer dome was finally finished, he put out a call to farmers and small businessfolk. The rest is history.

Gil lives on a small farm on the north side of the dome, where he and his wife of 70 years, Wendy, grow vegetables.

Support this blog on Patreon:

It’s All Fun And Games Until You Spill Hot Pepper Juice On Your Crotch

…you will speak in tongues


The Doclopedia #1,358

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “F”

F is for: Freddy

Freddy is a chimera, part human, part chimpanzee. In Gardener Dome, he is part of the Dome Maintenance Unit. If you see a big hairy guy on one of the dome access catwalks, it is most certainly Freddy.

While his ability to speak is somewhat limited by an incomplete human voice box, his intelligence is at human average. Freddy is a very pleasant fellow and enjoys being in the company of humans and AIs.

Freddy stands 6 feet tall, weighs 225 pounds and has black hair and brown eyes. His favorite food is tamales. He was born on Mars.

Mr. Fishy Fish Makes A Very Bad Decision

…he jumped out of the fish bowl and it was fatal

The Doclopedia #1,357

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “E”

E is for: Emily Salonga

Emily,“Emmy” to her friends, is the owner and head baker at “Third Street Bakery” in downtown Gardener. She has owned and run the shop with her husband Eddie for the last 25 years. It is a very popular place to sit and have pastry and coffee in the morning.

Emmy is not only the best baker in Gardener Dome, she is one of the top five bakers on Mars, as her wall of trophies will attest. Her chocolate coconut ginger donuts are her best sellers.

Emily is a 50 year old Filipino woman. She stands 5′ 6” tall and is somewhat plump. She was born on Earth.

Support this blog on Patreon:



200 Angry Pigeons

…I still can’t talk about it


The Doclopedia #1,356

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “D”

D is for: Dave Foster

Dave is the owner and main on air personality on M-164, the Gardener Dome radio station. He does the news and plays music 8 hours a day. He also hosts a call in show every Wednesday at noon.

Dave and his wife Amitra are also owners of the Two Moons microbrewery, a very popular drinking and dining spot. They are also the parents of three young children.

Dave is a native of the Oz L5 colony. He is 6’1” tall, has long blonde hair and blue eyes. His accent is that strange Ozian mix of French and Midwestern U.S.

The Rare And Beautiful Drunken Red Llama Of Potawango Island

…they get hammered by eating fermented melons

Support this blog on Patreon:


The Doclopedia #1,355

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “C”

C is for: Charlie 3

Charlie 3 is main transport bus in Gardener dome. His route is often just around town, but can go out into the farming areas if needed.

Charlie has a polite personality and is a bit of a gossip. There are people who ride him just to hear the latest juicy news. He is also a big fan of both marsball and Terran cricket, and has been known to get into some pretty good arguments.

Charlie 3 is a 32 foot long electric hoverbus. His colors are red and green. When he gets his next physical and AI upgrades, his name will be Charlie 4.

One Loud Fart Away From Getting Shot

…increase pucker factor to 11!


The Doclopedia #1,354

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “B”

B is for: Barb Pham

Barb is a technician at the Gardener Dome’s life support plant. Her primary job is running the water purification plant, but she also does a once a week shift at atmosphere storage.

Barb is well known in the dome for biking around with her dog, Dennis. Every weekend they are out and about, often going all the way around the dome’s 30 mile circumference.

Barb is a single, 38 year old woman of Vietnamese/Chinese/Norwegian ancestry. She is a Mars native.

Not In This Issue: Red Worms, Morris Dancing, Poodles And Austin, Texas

…sorry, Austin. Stay weird.


The Doclopedia #1,353

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “A”

Gardener Dome is a town on Mars 1-Q in the year 2070. It has 1,500 inhabitants. This series of Doclopedia entries will list 27 of them, alphabetically.

A is for Alwin Santiago

Alwin is a chicken farmer and the Treasurer of Gardener Dome’s town council. He and his wife Diandra have four children, all of whom help in raising the 3,000 chickens on their farm. While the primary purpose of the farm is egg production, the older hens are eventually processed and sold for eating as stewing hens.

Alwin is a 40 year old man of English & Hispanic heritage. He was born on Mars. He stands 6′ 10” tall and has brown hair and brown eyes.

Grouchy Jackdaws Teased My Meadowlark

…until he was forced to pull a gun on them


Support this blog on Patreon:


The Doclopedia #1,352

Strange Bandanas: The Donald Duck One

I own hundreds of bandanas. Many of them have strange stories connected to them. Here is one…

It looks like a simple white bandana with pictures of Donald Duck on it, but oh my friends, it is not. When I put this bandana, which was originally found in an ancient temple of duck worship, I gain all the powers of the Duck God.

I am impervious to getting wet, I can swim and dive, I can charm most humans with my cuteness and, of course, I can fly. In addition to all of that, I can speak with ducks and, if need be, summon an army of them to fight with me.

I seldom wear this bandana, because with great power…well, you know.

The Tenderly Romantic, But Also Rather Sappy, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Sausage Factory

…co-starring her neighbor, Mister Dinwiddy

The Doclopedia #1,351

Strange Bandanas: The Blue Tiger Striped One

I own hundreds of bandanas. Many of them have strange stories connected to them. Here is one…

While the Blue Tiger Striped bandana has no strange powers, I did get it by a rather strange turn of events. I was in Macon, Georgia, in 1982, on business that we need not elaborate upon, when a young lady came running toward me screaming that the two rather tough looking men behind her were trying to kill her. As they got closer, I saw that they had an inhuman look to them, so I grabbed her hand and we ran away as fast as we could.

The two big goons were gaining on us when I pulled her into an alley. Telling her to hide behind a dumpster, I whipped off the bandana I had been wearing and put on another that allowed me to affect gravity in a small area. As the goons turned into the alley and advanced upon me, I switched gravity off under them.

I let them rise about 150 feet, then tripled gravity in the same spot. They hit the ground hard. I could hear bones breaking. They were still and unmoving, so I had the young woman come out of hiding. When I asked her what the hell those two were, she told me they were Orcs, hired to track her down and kill her by her cousin, who desired the throne of her kingdom. She explained that her world was in another reality and she had used a spell to get to our world. It seemed the Orcs had managed to get through the portal just before it closed.

She said the portal would reopen in a few hours, so I offered to buy her lunch. She was very charming company and was thrilled to eat her first hambuger. During lunch, she told me that her cousin would try to kill her again and that she could do little against her cousin, who was protected from all forms of magic and guarded by deadly Orc mercenaries. I asked her if the Orcs were very fast and how close could she get to her cousin. She said the Orcs were not really fast and she could get to within 30 feet of her cousin. I told her I might be able to help her.

For the next four hours, I showed her how to use a .357 magnum pistol that I just happened to have for personal protection. She was a quick learner and a good shot. When she left, she kissed me and gave me the bandana, which to this day smells like her.

It was many years later that my family and I took the Bus to her world (Earth 499-C) and heard the tale of how Princess Savimila claimed her throne and dispatched her evil cousin and four Orcs with a “Thunder Wand”. I never did find out if she ever used the extra 24 rounds I gave her.