Gandalf Picard VS The Robotic Spice Rebels Of Narnia

…if I can make just one fanboy weep, my job is done

The Doclopedia #1,408

Capes & Cloaks: Cape Fear

Fear is a very powerful emotion, as and soldier or adventurer can tell you. Fear can make you run farther and faster than ever you thought possible, or it can make you leap into danger with deadly intent.

Today, students, we will discuss a cape of terrible power, one that you have probably all heard tales about as children. Today we discuss Cape Fear.

Quiet down! QUIET DOWN! The cape is no danger to us today. As you can plainly see, it is fully enclosed in a case made of Professor Ranik al Haraba’s most wonderful magic proof glass. I give you my word that there will be no leakage today. Unless, of course, some of you wet yourself when I revealed the cape.

Let’s take a look at it here. A rather plain affair made of gray and white wool in a sort of hounds tooth pattern. It attaches below the neck with a short chain and a clasp. I should think it would come down to about the waist on a 6 foot tall person. In all ways it appears totally normal.

But we know differently, don’t we? This cape is over 300 years old and has been worn by at least 10 insane killers that we know of. The Falburgh Ripper, Lady Vezeel, The Gray Headsman, Yogarl of the Swamp Clan, Sir Ansent Bartok…the list goes on and on. Each of them wore the cloak and were driven mad by the need to incite fear and terror. They tortured and dismembered and even cannibalized their victims before finally being brought to justice.

Yes, yes, Miss Broadfoot, how indeed did the cape remain undetected for so long? Was it ineptitude by the authorities? No, although they were more than a little inept at times. Perhaps the crazed killers had an accomplice that spirited the cape away after the killer’s death? None have ever been found.

No, the simple answer it that the cape shuts off it’s curse for a time and is tossed away or put in a pile with the killers other clothes, for later burning. This buys the cape enough time to entice somebody to take it away from any danger of being buried or destroyed. Over a period of a day or two, it causes itself to become clean and new looking. After that, it might be worn by several people, until the day comes when it meets just the right person. Then it turns the curse back on and begins driving them mad.

Take a good long look at Cape Fear, students. In a few days, it will be transported to a secluded locale to be burned into nothingness by magical fire. After that, it will haunt our world no longer.

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