...and not dead. . . My body is fighting off two different infections, so there won't be a new Doclopedia post. Instead, here is the post from this date 10 years ago. . . Uncle Doc’s Gardening Tips 1: PLANT A VEGGIE GARDEN! In these tough economic times, why the hell are you paying $3.00 … Continue reading I Used To Be Like That But Now I’m Like This.
Month: March 2019
Silence Of The Yams
...but, they are always silent . The Doclopedia #1,490 Is This Your...: Shoe? It is? Okay. Yeah, I found it just back there by the old graveyard. At first, I thought maybe it was just some old shoe, ya know, because it looks like one of those old timey shoes and it's dirty and stuff, … Continue reading Silence Of The Yams
Chapter 329: In Which Our Hero Tickles A Wench And Makes Saucy Comments To A Nun
...the nun was not amused . The Doclopedia #1,489 Is This Your...: Cat? . I'm just asking because you have several cats, Mrs Fenster, so I thought you might have a new one. I mean, he comes over to my house every night and I feed him, but I used to do that with your … Continue reading Chapter 329: In Which Our Hero Tickles A Wench And Makes Saucy Comments To A Nun
Nowhere To Go But Sideways!
...at least it's unpredictable . . The Doclopedia #1,488 Alt. Rocks 2: Rhymestone . The Rhymestone is a cursed jewel that is hated by everyone who ever explored a dungeon. Quite simply, it is a jewel about the size of a small chicken's egg and it is cursed to make the person who finds it … Continue reading Nowhere To Go But Sideways!
Letters From My Granddaughter
...so far she has given me W, J, O, Z, G, E and T . . The Doclopedia #1,486 Alt. Rocks 2: Boulderlings Calm down, elf! Them's just boulderlings. Ya see 'em all the time down here in the upper and middle depths. I'd say them is about 10 years along and headin' for an … Continue reading Letters From My Granddaughter
New: Squid Cream Oreos
...nopenopenope . . The Doclopedia #1,485 Alt. Rocks 2: Memory Quartz Memory quartz is a magical mineral found on several Fantasy Earths. When treated with the right substances, it can be made to retain the memories of any one person. There are limits, of course, but as a rule of thumb, a piece of memory … Continue reading New: Squid Cream Oreos
The Ice Cream Dwarves Go Mining For Salted Caramel
...yum yum . . The Doclopedia #1,483 Alt. Rocks 2: The Stone Testicles Of Yurr Okay, first off, yes, those two huge ovoid stones really are the testicles of the ancient God Of Life, Yurr. They are, in fact, all that remains of him. Every other bit of his body was gone 3,000 years ago. … Continue reading The Ice Cream Dwarves Go Mining For Salted Caramel
Here’s To You, Pal
...one last time . . The Roscoe Tapes In a bit shy of 60 days, it will be the 14th anniversary of the death of our first dog, Roscoe. It will also be time for me to see, for maybe the 100th time, if I am ready to listen to his memoirs. Right now, I'm … Continue reading Here’s To You, Pal
Wicked Flamingos Pestered My Penguins
...pink bastards! The Doclopedia #1,481 The Alphabet: Z is For...Zikritz Among the Guldiartan Dwarves, the game of Zikritz might as well be the national pastime. Everyone played it when they were young and most bet on it when they become adults. Each Dwarven clan has their own pro team and when the Zikritz Cup … Continue reading Wicked Flamingos Pestered My Penguins
Fizzy Drinks And Fuzzy Minks
...FUN! The Doclopedia #1,479 The Alphabet: Y is For...Yodeling Marmots The Yodeling Marmots of Potawango Island comprise two distinct species. The Great Gray Yodeling Marmot lives just above the tree line in the Spotoo Mountains. The average about 24 inches long and weigh between 8 and 14 pounds. They are a uniform medium gray … Continue reading Fizzy Drinks And Fuzzy Minks
Milk Bones Raining From The Sky!
...because I dropped the box The Doclopedia #1,477 The Alphabet: X is For...X Series The X series of adventure modules was published by 100 Dragon Games starting in February,1980, with “Goblin Hunt!” and finishing in August, 1981, with “Escape From Demon Mountain”. The series is widely considered the best 100 Dragon Games ever … Continue reading Milk Bones Raining From The Sky!
Isn’t It Time For Some Frivolity?
...of course it is! The Doclopedia #1,475 The Alphabet: W is For...Worms Of Prall . . On the planet Prall, located 598 light years from Earth, the most popular tourist attraction are the Worms of Prall. These enormous creatures, each measuring as much as 5 miles long, gather once a year on the … Continue reading Isn’t It Time For Some Frivolity?
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Splendid Lily Had a Way With Words
...mostly naughty words . The Doclopedia #1,471 The Alphabet: U is For...Upstairs At The Regal On Noir Earth 3, the classiest nightclub in Kansas City is Upstairs At The Regal. Located on the 15th floor of the Regal Hotel, it features well stocked bars, top line entertainment and a staff that knows how to … Continue reading Splendid Lily Had a Way With Words
Whoever Invented Allergies Can Die In A Fire
...twice . . The Doclopedia #1,469 The Alphabet: T is For...Time Reversal Grenade A Time Reversal Grenade is exactly what you think it it: a small hand grenade that, when it goes off, reverses time in an approximately 75 foot wide circle. The time reversal is only 10 seconds, but that can allow you to … Continue reading Whoever Invented Allergies Can Die In A Fire
In This Episode: Uncle Lou Catches “Old Fin”, Earl Gets Fired And Louella Buys A Hat
... Old Fin is a catfish The Doclopedia #1,467 The Alphabet: S is For...Sinkholes Of Mars In the Earth 3-B universe, the planet Mars is 25% larger than our Mars and has copious liquid water under the surface. In some areas, this water has built up pressure and eaten away at the soil above … Continue reading In This Episode: Uncle Lou Catches “Old Fin”, Earl Gets Fired And Louella Buys A Hat
Don’t Look Behind Your Chair!
...you looked, didn't you? . . Confessions Of A Time Traveler . Scum & Villainy & Me As you may have guessed from the title, this confession is about politics and my meddling therein. Not all of my messing about was aimed at creating new timelines. Some of it was that old time travel situation … Continue reading Don’t Look Behind Your Chair!
Module G-1: Lair Of The Guinea Pig
...not really a very good adventure The Doclopedia #1,463 The Alphabet: Q is For...Quavorx The Quavorx are a group of artificial worlds orbiting a small yellow star near the very tip of one of the Milky Way's spiral arms. The seven Mars sized worlds share the same orbit and are inhabited solely by … Continue reading Module G-1: Lair Of The Guinea Pig
My Further Adventures With Buttercup Crabbybatch
...is that name right? The Doclopedia #1,462 The Alphabet: P is For...Perky Pixie Pies First of all Perky Pixie Pies have nothing to do with pixies, perky or otherwise. The name comes from Pixie Ann Olson, a woman from small town Minnesota on Earth 10-H. The “perky” comes from the fact that she … Continue reading My Further Adventures With Buttercup Crabbybatch
Shadows Of The Knight
...well, one shadow, really Only one entry today, because it's so damned long. The Doclopedia #1,461 The Alphabet: P is For...P-A/233 The 233rd Fully Autonomous Robot was P-A/233. When he came off the assembly line, he should have been just like any of the P-A series, but he had a flaw. P-A/233 was not fully … Continue reading Shadows Of The Knight
It’s All Fun & Games Until Somebody Opens A Forbidden Book
...and then AAAAiiieeeeeeeee. Gurgle, gurgle, plop. The Doclopedia #1,459 The Alphabet: O is For...Old Woman Of The Forest On several Fantasy Earths, you will hear stories about the Old Woman of the Forest. These are never happy stories, but are instead stories of murder and robbery and, in some cases, cannibalism. They scare everyone … Continue reading It’s All Fun & Games Until Somebody Opens A Forbidden Book
Good Slimes
...it was a TV show, wasn't it? The Doclopedia #1,457 The Alphabet: N is For...Nigerian Prince On Earth 5-V, the Nigerian Prince is something of a superhero. Descended from actual Nigerian royalty and multimillionaires, he seems intent on giving away his family fortune. It's a very large fortune, so it may take a long while … Continue reading Good Slimes
We Should Have Considered The Effects Of Alcohol
...they pretty much messed things up The Doclopedia #1,453 The Alphabet: L is For...Looney Tombs Looney Tombs is a card game from Looniversity Games of Earth 1-B. The premise is that players are 19th century archaeologists seeing who can loot a tomb for the most treasures. Besides room and treasure cards, each player turns … Continue reading We Should Have Considered The Effects Of Alcohol
No Time For A Subject Line!
...almost midnight! The Doclopedia #1,451 The Alphabet: K is For...King Piggy King Piggy is an anime series on Earth 2-C Japanese Television. Created as a spinoff of a short (45 seconds long) segment of episode 39 of “Galactic Brain”, it featured a pig dressed as a king who is both very short tempered and an … Continue reading No Time For A Subject Line!
The Four Things You Should Never Put In Your Eye
...#1 is hot sauce The Doclopedia #1,449 The Alphabet: J is For...Just Jill! Just Jill! is the most popular situation comedy on United States television on Earth 1-E. It is now in it's 9th season and has been approved for at least 3 more seasons. The premise of the show is that perky … Continue reading The Four Things You Should Never Put In Your Eye