Not In This Issue: Fig Parrots, Playing Strip Bingo, Singing Tree Pruners

… do NOT play Strip Tree Pruning

After The Change Came

Series 4

Hound Dog Tails

Roscoe here with a badly late entry to this blog. As Dad said in his last post, I’m still working for the State of California Department of Nature as a wildlife surveyor, and I still work at ManDog creating QuestWorld scenarios. In fact, since his post we have finished scenarios #97 (Return To Venus) and #98 (The Floating City Caper). #99, still awaiting a title, is about 30% finished. And that will bring us to #100, which is about halfway plotted out on paper and will be a real mindblower when we release it. More than that, I cannot say.

It just occurred to me that some of you in other realities may not know what the whole QuestWorld phenomenon is. Let me explain.

After the Change restructured our world, the internet and everything about it got way more fun and way more strange to use. This was because you could just slip on a helmet and step right into a virtual world. There would be all sorts of websites and stuff laid out before you like a huge city. To help you navigate this confusing new world, there were Computer Guides, entities based upon people who had died years before. They could get you where you needed to go and help you find what you needed. They were, and still are, pretty much indispensable.

Anyway, this new cyberspace was just crying out for games and a bunch of folks either wrote new games or ported old games. I can still remember when I was a pup and I’d play Joust with Dad. Believe me, it’s a much different game when you’re riding on the flying ostriches with all sorts of shit happening around you.

At some point in 2004, at GenCon, a group of young folks got to talking to Dad and Uncle Spike and a bunch of other Old School roleplayers and the topic turned to adventure modules and intro adventures and adventure seeds. By the time the evening was done, a young lady named Shema Oliver had an idea for an online game that used “modules”. Three weeks later, QuestWorld Inc. was a company and six months later QuestWorld the game made it’s debut.

The main concept about QuestWorld is that you, ordinary citizens, have been transported to the Multiversal Nexus and told that you must find parts of a McGuffin in several worlds, then return them, assemble them and go into yet another world and stop the big bad guy. You can go into the various worlds, all of which are small, but richly realized, by computer game standards, in any order you like. There are also many ways to get the job done, but some work better than others. Most worlds are set up for four to eight players, but you can play with smaller groups or even solo.

Another thing that is very cool is that your characters pick up skills and powers in each world. Some of those don’t port over to every world (magic is a good example), but you never lose these skills. Believe me, first things you want to learn is stealth and some sort of edged weapon. Useful anywhere.

The first QuestWorld had four initial worlds (Zombie New York, Sinking Atlantis, The Old West and Shogunate Japan) to fetch McGuffin parts from and the Boss world (Jungle of Death) to use the McGuffin in. 150,000 people signed up to play it the first week. That number tripled the second week. By the time the company celebrated their first year, they had four different adventures and 19 worlds.

And then they did their version of the Open Game License. Anyone could create adventures or just modules, but they could only be played on the official QuestWorld site. Developers got 50% of the take and prominent credit (in neon lights) for their company and everyone working on the game.

This opened as floodgate of adventures and modules. Many sucked badly, but some were great. The initial McGuffin/Big Bad concept began to get massaged into something different in some adventures. Sometimes, you might be searching for spell components or map pieces or evel lost family members. It was a chaotic and wonderful time.

After about two years, the QW folks had to start setting up minimal quality rules. That weeded out a bunch of developers. Another thing that happened, and this caught most of us by surprise, it that people who weren’t QW players started to actually pay to watch QW games. Pretty soon there were QW cons and cybershows and then the official online QuestCon, which now draws half a million people.

The big event at QuestCon is the Speed Challenge. 24 teams of 6 people go on a quest that covers 5 worlds (chosen by a panel of QW fans selected a couple of days before the event picking from a large number of excellent scenarios) and a Boss World. Fastest time wins $100,000.00. The world record was set in 2016 by Team Fluffy Kitty with 5 hours, 50 minutes, 11 seconds. As a long time Speed Challenge fan and sometimes participant, let me just say that time is fucking insane. Of course, they did finish with only 2 PCs left alive. I’ll note that as of 2018, the Speed Challenge was drawing above 4 million viewers worldwide.

This year, as we have for the last 7 years, Team ManDog will be in the running to participate in the Speed Challenge. Our team consists of me, Dad, my son Nick, Auntie Avis, my daughter May and Uncle Spike. I think we have a good shot at making it.

Okay, I took way to long writing this, so I’ll end for now.

Talk to you later,


We Never Stopped Liking Monkeys, We Just Took A Short Break.

…okay, it was 7 years


Confessions Of A Time Traveler

If Nobody Ever Finds It, Is It Really Lost?

As you may or not have heard Sasha mention in her rants, time travel is strange and wonderful and you cannot change history. You can cause history, you can spin off new timelines and you can kind of “cheat” history, but you can’t change it in any meaningful way.

It’s that cheating part I want to talk about today.

Sasha and I have told you about the “have your cake and eat it, too” way of duplicating a famous person (Abe Lincoln, Jack Kennedy, Ada Lovelace, Frank Zappa, etc) and bringing them to a point way in the future so they can live another, hopefully beneficial life. I’ve done it a couple of dozen times.

But what about stuff? Things? Can you bring those back to the present?

Yes, but…

You can do it with pretty much anything, but the more you bring or the rarer it is now, the harder it is to explain. I love my complete collection of comics from the 50’s & 60’s, but since they are in brand new condition and complete runs, explaining them would be very difficult. Same goes for my DVD collection of every Doctor Who episode, even the lost ones.

Now, what I mostly want to cover is bringing loot from the past. Gold, silver, diamonds, artwork, etc. Stuff worth a lot of money. I’m not saying you go back and rob a bank or an art gallery or something, but then again, maybe you consider it.

Generally speaking, you can’t do that easily. For one thing, if somebody gets a picture of you as you leap into your getaway car, it can cause no end of headaches later. Of course, there is also too much chance of getting shot or caught. But what you can do, is research “Lost (fill in the blank)” and then go find that stuff. Why? Because if it was never found by the time of your Absolute Now, who’s to say what happened to it.

An example: A gang of 1920s bank robbers hit a bank for $100,000.00. They get away, but two days later all of them die in a shootout with the cops. The money is never found and the folks in the 21st century who make television shows about lost treasures have another story to try and solve.

But you, Friend Time Traveler, go back to the day of the robbery, put a small tracking device on their car, then use a drone to follow them. You learn that they put the money into an old well in Nowhereville, Kansas, so you get there after they leave, grab the cash and go back to your present secure in the knowledge that the well gets filled in sometime in 1933 and has a bigass grain elevator built on the spot in 1953.

Art the Nazis stole? It’s yours, dude! You could keep it in a private collection or you could “find” it at some point and get huge rewards and your name in all the papers. Same could go for all the artwork the Nazi scum destroyed, but that is trickier to get hold of.

Did you ever wonder why they don’t find more wrecked ships full of gold, silver and other loot? Time travelers! Ancient treasures, like, say, what was in those looted Egyptian tombs? Time travelers! Movies, recordings, television shows that are “lost”? Yep, time travelers.

So remember, kids: Finder’s keepers, losers weepers.

Oh, and to keep from having to write another variation on this piece, collecting extinct animals or lost humans (IF they were truly lost. Many “lost” folks just get new identities) is WAY easier to do. Assuming you have a place in the present to hold them.



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DUDE! A Doclopedia Milestone!



Well spank my ass and call me Pinky, this is my 1,500th Doclopedia post!



The Doclopedia #1,500

Well, Since You Asked: Here’s How It Went Down

It started out with me leaving Penny’s house before the party started…no, not the after party, the PARTY party. The one she was giving for Walt and Debbie after they said they were going to get married, even though none of us figured that it would really happen because Debbie has commitment issues and Walt pisses off every woman he gets close to and Walt doesn’t have a good enough job to afford Debbie’s high maintenance ass. But anyway, I’m leaving her house to go get ice because Penny never get enough ice, like that time when we were in high school and had to drink most of a case of Buckeye beer that was really warm because her idea of enough ice was a 2 pound bag on a 90 degree night. Jesus, that stuff tasted like hot horse piss and one of the bags leaked water all over Paul’s backseat.

So I’m walking to the store, the 7-11 on Grand, not the one on Wilton because Grand is 6 blocks away on level ground while Wilton is 5 blocks away up a steep hill and my knee was not having that shit. I’ve never liked that hill since Old Man Rinski lost his brakes and ran over my bike before plowing into the dry cleaner’s that used to be on the corner of Maple. What the fuck was an 86 year old man doing driving anyway? And then he died a few months later and everyone had to wait for his estate to be settled. Of course, Dad used the bike money to help buy us a scooter. Yeah, Old Red! That was a great scooter.

I’m about a block from the store when I see the front window come crashing out because some guy wearing a werewolf costume has jumped through it. I looked around because I thought “are they filming a movie or tv show?”, but nope, no cameras. Only it isn’t a guy in a costume, it’s a real fuckin’ werewolf because he grabs Dirty Ernie, tears his fuckin’ arm off and starts eating it, which is pretty gross because I don’t think that druggie had bathed since Clinton was president. Dude, did he ever get close to you when he was panhandling? He smelled like 10,000 dirty socks that had been soaked in piss and left out in the sun. Disgusting!

So there’s Dirty Ernie bleeding out and people are running and screaming and three cop cars come screaming up and a fuckin’ zombie…one of the slow kind, thankfully, but still a goddamn real zombie…comes out of the 7-11 and I didn’t know whether to scream, run or just shit myself. I chose running, by the way.

The cops yell at the werewolf and it charges toward them and bullets start flying and I dive behind an SUV which proceeds to catch about 30 bullets which is a damned shame because it looked like a sweet ride. It took about 10 seconds for at least 7 bullets and a shotgun blast to hit it. Once the shooting stopped, I peek around the front tire and I see two cops on the ground all ripped to shit and the werewolf is blasted full of holes and deader than hell. The zombie is dead, too because somebody thought to blow his head off, which is even grosser and messier in real life than in any movie. After seeing all that, I lost my lunch in the gutter. I will live a long time before I see that much gore in real life again.

I get up and run over to a cop and ask him what the fuck is going on and damned if he isn’t Marty McCabe, that kid who was two years behind us in school and lived on Cimmaron Drive with the dad that wore a toupee and drove a sports car and the mom who always wore the fake jewelry and had that yappy little dog. Nobody liked that dog and I heard that a big alley cat kicked it’s ass good and Mrs. McCabe lost her shit while she was calling animal control from the vet’s office.

Marty tells me that all kinds of monsters are popping up all over town and I had better get my ass somewhere safe and then we see a Predator alien running up Grand toward us and the cops start shooting but the Predator is fast and dodging but then I notice it doesn’t have any weapons, just bigass teeth and claws, which, when you think about it, is probably good enough. I’m thinking that over when I stumble over the dead werewolf and realize that the cops didn’t use silver bullets to kill him, which would have been crazy expensive even if you could find any, and really, who the fuck has actual silver bullets you can fire from a pistol? Silver is pretty soft and I’ll bet it would fuck up your gun fast.

Anyway, that Predator is closing in and the cops need all the help they can get and so I grab a half full 40 ouncer from off the curb and lob it at that alien asshole. It hit him it the chest and he stops to look at me and then one of the cops rams him with a cop car and two more cops run up and shoot the shit out of it. It was dramatic as fuck and I could imagine Bruce Willis as the cop driving the car.

I’m thinking I need to get back to Penny’s place and warn everyone, when I see my cousin Tony and his pal Rigo come barreling up in his Impala, the red one, not the yellow one because that one is in the shop getting a new engine and transmission and I think maybe an exhaust system. So I ask Tony what the fuck two crazy Mexicans are doing out here in the burbs and he says that my sister, Kate, who I thought was on a trip to Seattle, but then I realize that was my sister Bonnie and it was Portland and you got to cut me some slack because keeping track of 5 sisters isn’t easy, told him I was going to a party at Penny’s and since there were more monsters popping up on this side of town, he figured he’s come over and see if I was okay. That’s the kind of guy Tony is, a crazy fucker, but one who will look out for you.

So I jump in his car and we head for Penny’s and one block from her place we see a fuckin’ troll. Not one of those wispy haired ugly doll little fuckers, but a goddamn 15 foot tall troll straight out of a Hobbit movie and it’s got a woman in it’s hand getting ready to eat her and Tony says “Oh fuck no!” and Rigo, who says maybe 10 words a week, shouts out something in Spanish and we ram right into the troll’s left leg. You could hear the leg bone snap, the car’s front end crumple, the lady scream and the troll let out a roar. We got out of the car and run around to the trunk and Tony pops it open and we grab crowbars and sledge hammers and a set of bolt cutters, none of which Tony is supposed to be carting around because he’s still on parole, but I’m damned glad he had them.

Rigo and I start wailing away on the troll’s busted leg and he drops the lady into a bush. I think it was a camellia bush, because Grandma Becky used to have a couple of those in her front yard and she got pissed off if her neighbor’s dog whizzed on them. The bush broke her fall enough that she wasn’t hurt bad, but that freed up both the troll’s hands and it started to pick up a Smart Car to drop on Tony. But just then, Dave Lawrence, you know, that friend of Penny’s who rolls into town for a visit 2 or 3 times a year when he’s not out surfing or snorkeling or diving or climbing a mountain? I’m pretty sure he mostly visits so he can play hide the weenie with Penny’s sister Andi, but anyway, he’s got a spear gun in his hands and he shoots the troll right in the junk. Even though I wanted that fuckin’ troll dead, I still winced and crossed my legs a bit. So did Rigo and Tony. Sympathetic spear to the dick pain, dude.

As you might think, the troll screamed and grabbed his, like, 3 foot long johnson, and was not thinking about us and can you really blame him? So Tony reaches up with this 5 foot crowbar and whacks the troll right in the left nut. Turns out, a troll falls over and screams just like we would, except way louder and it sounds kind of like two gravel trucks having a head on collision. Once the troll was down, we started whipping on it’s head until it stopped moving. Tony’s car was fucked up, but nothing the guys over at D&J Auto Body and A-1 Mechanics couldn’t repair. Those guys are great. They fixed my truck up like new after Rabbi Bob and I rolled it down that hill back in 2003.

So, with this humongous troll dead, still holding his dick, and blocking the street, we push Tony’s car over in front of Mr & Mrs Tong’s house, because we knew they’d be okay with it. Then we hoof it over to Penny’s and are just thanking Dave for spearing the troll in the dick when Nina, who is Penny’s cousin and a lawyer or a doctor or something like that, look up in the sky and screams.

Now, I’m thinking it’s gonna be a goddamn dragon or something, I dunno, a wyvern or giant bat or, well, hell, I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure it’s bad news. I was right, but it was Dracula. Not Bela Lugosi Dracula, which would be bad enough, but oh no, this is motherfucking Christopher Lee Hammer Horror fucking Dracula. I mean, Christopher Lee was a 100% certified badass in real life and his Dracula was the best ever and now here he is, red eyes and cape and big sharp goddamn teeth and he’s coming right at us and I may have pissed myself a little. Don’t you fucking laugh! You would have pissed, too.

Anyway, Dracula comes swooping down and lands in front of us and he grabs me by the neck and lifts me right up off the ground and I’m scared and pissed off and I see Tony swinging that crowbar so I kick Dracula right in the chin as the crowbar whacks the arm that is holding me. The arm breaks and Dracula drops me on my ass and I see his jaw is busted where I kicked him and I remember these monsters aren’t the real deal and then Penny blows a hole right through Dracula with a shotgun I didn’t know she had, but then I recognize it as her dad’s old shotgun because he used to go hunting with my dad and my Uncle Ray up on Elk Mountain.

We all ran into the house and locked the hell outta the doors and I grabbed a cold beer and chugged it down. There were about 20 of us in there, including Lori Diaz and you know that was a bit uncomfortable for her and I, or it would have been if the fucking town wasn’t overrun by goddamn movie monsters and D&D monsters and shit like that. I mean, Lori and I had a good 2 years, but then she started getting promotions at work and I got that job in Philly and then the one in Miami and, well, things just ended. The problem is, we still kinda have feelings for each other. It’s complicated.

The TV was on and the chopper cam was showing a shitload of kobolds, yeah, the dog faced lizard kind from the first Monster Manual, raising hell in the Taco Bell down at the Southside Mall, which was really no big deal for most of us because Taco Bell sucks and that Taco Bell sucks even more. Then the news guys showed a scorpion about the size of a bus heading up Main street until a guy runs out of the Arco station at Main and Third and lobs a few gallons of gas onto it, then lights it up. Dude, that things went up like a bomb went off and it went bugfuck for about a minute before it died. I’m thinking it probably smelled pretty gross, although since scorpions are related to lobsters, maybe it smelled not so bad, maybe like a busy night at Red Lobster.

By the time I got to beer #4, we had all calmed down a bit and some folks were talking about maybe trying to get out of town when Walt looks out a window and starts yelling and pointing and we all run over to see what’s what and fuck me sideways if it’s not Cthulhu, CTHU-FUCKING-LHU, coming towards us as he steps on that Vietnamese place over on Harper street, which I heard made a killer pho. He’s every fucking bit of 200 feet tall and tentacle faced and all that shit and even though we know he’s not REALLY Cthulhu, he’s still pretty fuckin’ scary because he’s 200 feet tall and stomping on ethnic restaurants and houses and cars and shit and he heading RIGHT TOWARD US! I may have peed a bit more, but dude, FOUR BEERS, okay?

We all run out the front door just in time to hear a big boom and see old tentacle face get hit by an artillery round fired by the guys from the National Guard armory over on Baker and 6th. Blew a bigass hole in him and then another round hit him and blew off his arm. He fell down and took out about 4 houses and the 7-11 I was just at. We all cheered and hugged.

Now, here’s where it gets really strange, which is sayin’ a lot considering the fucking Weirdfest-O-Rama that has been going on up to now. See, Cthulhu starts to glow and then fades away. Same with the troll and any other monsters we can see. We run back in the house to catch the news and the newsguy is saying that all the monsters are fading away and that the Air Force shot down a UFO west of town. Tony wanted to go out there and see it, until I reminded him that there would be a shitload of soldiers and FBI and CIA and NSA and cops out there and maybe it wasn’t the best place for a crazy fucker on parole like him to be. He agreed, plus his ride was trashed anyway, so he and Rigo decided they’d walk over a few blocks and see how some lady friends of theirs were doing. If it was the ladies I think it is, I’d say they were doing pretty well once Tony and Rigo showed up.

Things having died down, the party pretty much just turned into people talking and getting drunk and the next thing I know it’s morning and I’m waking up in Penny’s bed and she’s cooking bacon & eggs and her cat, Socks is laying on my chest and I’m thinking it’ll be a long time before I have a night as strange as that one. But you know, never say never.

Anyway, that’s how it all went down.

Ducks Causing Trouble, Geese On The Run

…it’s a waterfowl crime spree


The Doclopedia #1,498

Stairway to: Lincoln

Of all the stairways I have found, this one is the most random. Why? Because there are dozens of town and cities with the name Lincoln.

There are over 40 Lincolns in the United states alone. You’ll find more in the U.K., Canada, New Zealand, Argentina and Australia. The stairway can take you to any one of them.

The stairway itself usually appears in a park. It appears to be made of U.S. Penny coins and it has 7 steps. Once you get to the top, you are in a place called Lincoln. The stairway will remain there until you decide to leave.


The Doclopedia #1,499

Stairway to: Dinnerwhere

This stairway is always a favorite with stairway hunters. Simply put, it always takes you to the place you will most enjoy having dinner at that time. Feeling like seafood? It will take you to a great place. Steak? Asian? Southern? Barbecue? French? It doesn’t matter, you will go the the best place to eat what you want, wherever that may be on Earth.

Now, do be advised that while you will find that you have a reservation (where needed), you will not have any cash other that that of the place you left. You may also not speak the language of your destination. Fortunately, credit cards are accepted in most places and you may find your native language spoken by somebody.

This stairway is beautiful, being carved from a single large block of marble and having golden railings on both sides. As you go up the 10 steps, the smell of delicious cooking gets stronger.

The stairway will remain until you finish your meal. Once you return to the point of origin, the stairway disappears.


We Come From The Land Of The Ice And Snow, You Betcha

…oh ya, Minnesota


The Doclopedia #1,496

Stairway to: Lost Vegas

This spiral staircase appears only in casinos in Las Vegas, in whatever year is current. It’s a damned classy staircase, straight out of the heyday of Vegas, when the Rat Pack performed, the Mob ran the town and casinos weren’t “Family Destination Resorts”.

Going up the staircase takes you into the ground floor of a Las Vegas in the early 1960s. Could be any one of the big casinos. Regardless, a well dressed guy named “Archie” will give everyone in your party 100 bucks worth of chips and a ticket to the Sinatra show at 11:00 pm, which is always in about 3 hours.

So, what do you do in Lost Vegas? You do all the stuff everyone did. Gamble, drink, eat, see some shows and live it up. How long can you stay? As long as you want…IF you have money. The moment you go broke, you’ll see another spiral staircase that will take you back to the present.

But hey, go see Louis Prima and his band in the lounge before you go.



The Doclopedia #1,497

Stairway to: Dreamland

Yes, this stairway does lead to the Land of Dreams, but you may not want to go there. It’s a chaotic and ever changing place, full of strange creatures and people. The various areas of Dreamland can be fun, interesting, mindblowing, sad and terrifying.

The stairway only appears to folks who get out of bed half asleep late at night because they hear music playing. The stairway is where their bedroom door should be, but for some reason that does not seem strange. As they start up, the first 10 steps seem fine, but then they start changing into steps of various materials from sand to moss to fur to ice, and many others.

After about 30 steps, they arrive in Dreamland. To describe an “average” visit is impossible, but we can give some information about the various areas you might encounter.

Surreal Island: If Salvador Dali had dropped 100 hits of acid after taking peyote, he would still not have had a vision as strange as the ones you’ll find here. Don’t try to figure out anything you see or here. Fortunately, getting off this island is easy: just step into the water and you’re off and heading someplace else.

Movieland: Walking into this area will plop you down in some movie that you have seen at some time. Things may seem sharply real here, but that can change in a second. Expect the movie to morph into another sort of dream entirely.

Erotic Village: This is the area of sexual dreams. They may or may not morph into other dreams.

Happytown: The dreams here are fun and goofy. They also don’t last long, but you’ll probably leave laughing your ass off.

Real World City: Have you ever had the dream of being late for school or work? Maybe the one where you are totally unprepared for something? Well, this is where those dreams happen.

Nightmare Forest: Yeah, nightmares here. Try not to go here.

You’ll be stuck in Dreamland until you either find a door out or you really need to go pee. At that point, you find yourself back in your room.

Golden Racer Joe

…more fake anime



The Doclopedia #1,495

Stairway to: Toyland

This stairway always appears near a group of several old toys that you had as a kid. Most of them were your favorites. The door, which looks totally ordinary, has the words “This Way To Toyland” painted on the door in bright green.

The stairway has between 5 and 15 steps. At the top is another door, again, totally ordinary. Going through it puts you right on Main Street of Toyville, which is inhabited by humans and elves who make toys. They are all friendly and eager to show you the toys they make. Every sort of toy that has been on Earth is here.

Beyond Toyville is Toyburg, Toytown and Toy City. The first two are pretty much just like Toyville, but Toy City is the home of living, sapient toys. They are fascinated by visitors from Earth and will ask you all sorts of questions. They will also serve you cookies and milk. It’s a strange, but enormously fun, place.

After being in Toyland for a few hours, you will fall asleep and wake up in your bed at home with your favorite childhood toy sitting on your dining room/kitchen table.


The Fashionably Late, But Interesting And Cool, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Girl Who Talked To Fish

…featuring her new best friend, Oceana Perchly


The Doclopedia #1,494

Stairway to: Asgard

This stairway moves around every few months, but you’ll always find it somewhere in the Scandinavian countries of Norway, Denmark and Sweden. The entrance is a door that is large (8’X4′), thick (3”) and very heavy. It’s made of a solid slab of pine and intricately carved with images of the Norse Gods and their adventures. Whatever doorway the door is hung in will be framed in a similar manner, although that doorway will change back to normal, including a reduction in size, once the stairway moves on.

Upon opening the door, one is presented with exactly 33 steps. Each step looks like a sword or ax blade. The top and sides of the stairway look like a soft white mist, but are thick and impenetrable. When a person reaches the top, the mists fade away and Asgard is revealed. It should also be mentioned that the stairway is gone, too, so there is no returning that way.

In less than a minute, Asgardian warriors arrive and announce that you must come with them. They are polite, but firm about this. Despite the city looking to be miles away, it takes but 10 minutes to walk there. The guards, who, like everyone else in Asgard, stand a good foot taller than a tall human, will chat with new arrivals, answering most questions honestly. They may also ask about news from Midgard, so be ready.

The city is impressive, but the great tree Yggdrasil rises above it. Once a traveler is inside the city, they are taken to meet Odin, who gives them two choices: Spend a day and a night there, then return home unable to tell anyone about their stay except somebody who has also been there, or stay for the rest of their lives. About 50% of travelers choose to stay.

After a day and night in the city, another stairway appears that leads to the exact location of the first door. When the traveler returns, they find that only 10 minutes have passed. The door disappears and moves on. Nobody has ever found the door a second time.



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Blue Petunia Waltz

…feel free to dance, y’all


I missed a few days due to being sick, so here are THREE Doclopedia entries.


The Doclopedia #1,491

Is This Your…: Hot Sauce?

Sir! Sir! You forgot your hot sauce! It was on your table when I went to bus it. Oh, no problem. People leave stuff behind all the time. Dragon’s Piss, eh? I’ve never heard of that brand, but the label looks homemade, so no wonder. No, no reward is necessary. Like I said, this happens all the time. You have a good day.”

“Man, Jimmy, that was an old dude. I’ve gotta admit though, he had mad cosplay skills. That outfit looked better than the stuff from Lord of the Rings. So, anyway, you ready? I had enough time before I ran after him to put 5 drops on each cracker. On the count of three, we pop the whole thing in our mouths and chew 10 times before swallowing. First one to drink anything is a wuss and has to take out the garbage all week.”



The Doclopedia #1,492

Is This Your…: Radio?

I’m asking, because we could hear it over in our yard and wondered what station was playing old time radio shows. We turned our radio on, but couldn’t find the station. Of course, your radio is way bigger than ours, so I guess it gets stations much farther. Is all that other stuff…okay.”

“Wow! That bit was pretty crazy. Some guys stuck in ancient Greece and there was a war going on? COOL! Will there be more of that show? I want to see if their guy at Mission Central send then the guns in time. Oh, okay, I need to go anyway. My dad is grilling burgers. Bye!”



The Doclopedia #1,493

Is This Your…: Crossbow?

Well, is it, ya stumpy dwarven bastard? My men and I are tasked with making sure that nobody brings weapons into our fair town. The Duke doesn’t like them.

So, it IS yours! Well, you won’t be so fuckin’ cocky when these four lads are beating you senseless before we drag your short ass off to jail. Go ahead, reach for it. They’ll be on you before…”

<Insert sound of swords piercing flesh and three bodies falling>

“I give up! Spare me! I don’t know anything. How dis you guys get past the gates with weapons? Please, spare me. Don’t kill…”

<insert sound of a crossbow firing>