Blue Petunia Waltz

…feel free to dance, y’all


I missed a few days due to being sick, so here are THREE Doclopedia entries.


The Doclopedia #1,491

Is This Your…: Hot Sauce?

Sir! Sir! You forgot your hot sauce! It was on your table when I went to bus it. Oh, no problem. People leave stuff behind all the time. Dragon’s Piss, eh? I’ve never heard of that brand, but the label looks homemade, so no wonder. No, no reward is necessary. Like I said, this happens all the time. You have a good day.”

“Man, Jimmy, that was an old dude. I’ve gotta admit though, he had mad cosplay skills. That outfit looked better than the stuff from Lord of the Rings. So, anyway, you ready? I had enough time before I ran after him to put 5 drops on each cracker. On the count of three, we pop the whole thing in our mouths and chew 10 times before swallowing. First one to drink anything is a wuss and has to take out the garbage all week.”



The Doclopedia #1,492

Is This Your…: Radio?

I’m asking, because we could hear it over in our yard and wondered what station was playing old time radio shows. We turned our radio on, but couldn’t find the station. Of course, your radio is way bigger than ours, so I guess it gets stations much farther. Is all that other stuff…okay.”

“Wow! That bit was pretty crazy. Some guys stuck in ancient Greece and there was a war going on? COOL! Will there be more of that show? I want to see if their guy at Mission Central send then the guns in time. Oh, okay, I need to go anyway. My dad is grilling burgers. Bye!”



The Doclopedia #1,493

Is This Your…: Crossbow?

Well, is it, ya stumpy dwarven bastard? My men and I are tasked with making sure that nobody brings weapons into our fair town. The Duke doesn’t like them.

So, it IS yours! Well, you won’t be so fuckin’ cocky when these four lads are beating you senseless before we drag your short ass off to jail. Go ahead, reach for it. They’ll be on you before…”

<Insert sound of swords piercing flesh and three bodies falling>

“I give up! Spare me! I don’t know anything. How dis you guys get past the gates with weapons? Please, spare me. Don’t kill…”

<insert sound of a crossbow firing>

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