We Come From The Land Of The Ice And Snow, You Betcha

…oh ya, Minnesota


The Doclopedia #1,496

Stairway to: Lost Vegas

This spiral staircase appears only in casinos in Las Vegas, in whatever year is current. It’s a damned classy staircase, straight out of the heyday of Vegas, when the Rat Pack performed, the Mob ran the town and casinos weren’t “Family Destination Resorts”.

Going up the staircase takes you into the ground floor of a Las Vegas in the early 1960s. Could be any one of the big casinos. Regardless, a well dressed guy named “Archie” will give everyone in your party 100 bucks worth of chips and a ticket to the Sinatra show at 11:00 pm, which is always in about 3 hours.

So, what do you do in Lost Vegas? You do all the stuff everyone did. Gamble, drink, eat, see some shows and live it up. How long can you stay? As long as you want…IF you have money. The moment you go broke, you’ll see another spiral staircase that will take you back to the present.

But hey, go see Louis Prima and his band in the lounge before you go.



The Doclopedia #1,497

Stairway to: Dreamland

Yes, this stairway does lead to the Land of Dreams, but you may not want to go there. It’s a chaotic and ever changing place, full of strange creatures and people. The various areas of Dreamland can be fun, interesting, mindblowing, sad and terrifying.

The stairway only appears to folks who get out of bed half asleep late at night because they hear music playing. The stairway is where their bedroom door should be, but for some reason that does not seem strange. As they start up, the first 10 steps seem fine, but then they start changing into steps of various materials from sand to moss to fur to ice, and many others.

After about 30 steps, they arrive in Dreamland. To describe an “average” visit is impossible, but we can give some information about the various areas you might encounter.

Surreal Island: If Salvador Dali had dropped 100 hits of acid after taking peyote, he would still not have had a vision as strange as the ones you’ll find here. Don’t try to figure out anything you see or here. Fortunately, getting off this island is easy: just step into the water and you’re off and heading someplace else.

Movieland: Walking into this area will plop you down in some movie that you have seen at some time. Things may seem sharply real here, but that can change in a second. Expect the movie to morph into another sort of dream entirely.

Erotic Village: This is the area of sexual dreams. They may or may not morph into other dreams.

Happytown: The dreams here are fun and goofy. They also don’t last long, but you’ll probably leave laughing your ass off.

Real World City: Have you ever had the dream of being late for school or work? Maybe the one where you are totally unprepared for something? Well, this is where those dreams happen.

Nightmare Forest: Yeah, nightmares here. Try not to go here.

You’ll be stuck in Dreamland until you either find a door out or you really need to go pee. At that point, you find yourself back in your room.


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