The Astounding Jellyfish-Man Versus The Villainous Red Newt!

…not a Marvel or DC comic


The Doclopedia #1,644

Blame The Cat!: About The Explosion

It is the ruling of this panel that, on the 21st of May, 1990, at 3:16 in the morning, a mixture of volatile chemicals spontaneously combusted, starting a fire that ignited rags and wood in the back storeroom of the H.R. Twiggins Auto Painting Shop at 5688 Gunderson Road in Spratsville, Ohio. Said rags and wood spread the fire into the main portion of the building, which was quickly engulfed it flames, causing two propane tanks and four paint storage tanks to explode. The resulting explosion completely leveled the building. No lives were lost.

As to how the chemicals became mixed, the panel refers you to footage taken by security cameras and provided to us by Daxx Security. You will note that at 2:30 am, a cat named Porky wakes up, sniffs his food bowl and acts upset by the contents. After knocking the bowl over and spilling the contents, as you have just seen, he now goes to several spots around the building, in some cases urinating or defecating in what can only be described as an upset manner.

Finally, we see him climbing up to a shelf in the back room and knocking down everything on it, including the aforementioned chemicals.

Finally, we have this last bit of footage of the cat leaving the building via a cat door. Approximately 50 seconds later, the explosions occurred.

Given all of the evidence, this panel blames the cat.




The Doclopedia #1,645

Blame The Cat!: For Crashing The Car

See Missy the cat.

Missy is a large fat cat.

See Missy left in the car while her owner buys a cup of coffee.

See the car on a hill.

See Missy jumping around the car.

Missy does not like being left in the car.

See Missy accidentally knock the car into Neutral.

See the car begin to roll.

See Missy’s owner come running out of the coffee shop.

Look! The car is going faster!

Missy’s owner is chasing the car!

The speedometer now reads 40 miles an hour!

Look there! It’s a curve!

See Missy being frightened and pooping all over inside the car!

Oh no! The car misses the turn and crashes into Mr. Feldman’s Dry Cleaning Shop.

Look! Missy leaps out through the shattered windshield!

Missy is unharmed!

See Missy’s owner arrive 2 minutes later. Look at her huffing and puffing!

Uh oh! Missy’s owner is saying bad words.

Missy is just sitting and grooming herself.

The End



The Doclopedia #1,646

Blame The Cat!: For Wrecking The House

Our Players
Wally: A ginger cat
Jed: A dog
Pinky: Another dog

Wally: Man, I am bored.

Jed: So am I. The humans have been gone for hours.

Pinky: What’s “dinner and a movie” anyway.

Wally: Hell if I know. Hey, you guys want to play “Chase”.

Jed: Sure!

Pinky: Sounds like fun!

Wally: Okay, you two chase me. This will be fun because all the room doors are open in the house tonight.

<insert a healthy and tiring 40 minute long game of chase that covers every room of the house, at high speed, here>

Pinky: Wow, that was fun, but I’m hella tired now.

Wally: Me too.

Jed: Hahaha! We all have flour and craft glue and glitter and potting soil in our fur.

Wally: Yeah, but we can just roll on the carpet to get it off.

<insert much rolling on the few areas of carpet and sofa not already filthy>

Wally: Whew! Time for a nap!

Jed: You betcha!

Pinky: Yep! You know, Wally, you have some great ideas sometimes.

Wally: Well, I am a cat, after all.

<insert much snoring until the humans get home around midnight>

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