The Doclopedia #1,647
Blame The Cat!: For All Those Fireworks
“Jesus, Mike, we’ve gotta leave town and fast! All those fireworks going off is gonna have cops and fire marshals and feds and lawyers all after us. Step on the gas and let’s get outta here!
Oh shit! The fucking mall is on fire! Drive! DRIVE!
You know what started the fire, right? It was that big black cat from Old Man Lueker’s farm! I had the little grill set up on some boards on sawhorses way in the back yard of that empty house we had the fireworks in. I’d just put on some hotdogs for me and Jay when that cat starts walking along the fence. Jay yells at it and it gives him a fuck you look, so he chucks a rock at it.
Then the damned cat jumps off the fence, lands on one end of my table boards and next thing you know, the grill on the other end goes flying and then the dry grass goes up in flames and then Jay and I are running and then the shit hits the fan.
We were lucky to get outta there ali…Oh nononono! It’s a roadblock! Here come the cops. Fuckin’ Jay must have ratted us out!
I hate cats.