...fuck 2019 . The Doclopedia #1,750 The Colors: Silver . The Silver Warrior is a strange fellow indeed. Nobody has ever seen him without his helmet on, so there is no actual proof that he is human. Or male. Or even alive. For all anybody knows he could be a golem gifted with limited speech. … Continue reading Angrily Slamming The Door On 2019
...or anybody named Perri . The Doclopedia #1,748 The Colors: Magenta . The lovely three petaled, lace edged magenta flowers of the Arbonga Vine are beautiful to look at and smell wonderful. They are also the last thing you'll probably see before the lightning fast vine wraps around you and begins exuding powerful digestive enzymes. … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Periwinkles, Periscopes Or Peridots
...there was no place else to put him . The Doclopedia #1,746 The Colors: Dark Green . Dark Green is the primary color of a Jungle Dragon. Built along the same lines as classic Chinese dragons (long snakelike body, small legs, no wings), these tropical dragons can grow to 90 feet long. Of only average … Continue reading Otyugh In The Bathtub
...and not one of them is a fucking cracker . The Doclopedia #1,744 Most Wanted : Dalpox Walvin . Description: 4' tall, 9' across, light blue with black and yellow streaking, smells of frezent moss. Mouth area is wider than normal for a Uj Kaz. Wanted For: Treason, illegal mating, absorption of a Oj Pix, … Continue reading Five Things That Parrots Like
...at the zoo . The Doclopedia #1,742 Most Wanted : The Blue Man . Description: The villain known as The Blue Man stands 5' 5” tall and has a stocky build. He wears a sky blue suit that covers his entire body. Analysis of his vocal patterns indicate that he probably spent his youth in … Continue reading Handsome Joe Meets An Elephant
...fireballs away! . The Doclopedia #1,740 Most Wanted : The Big Pig . Description: The Big Pig, AKA Mario Porkoni, stands 6' 4” tall. He has brown eyes, black hair and 4 inch tusks. He has a 2 inch long scar on his chinny chin chin. He always dresses in expensive suits, He usually wears … Continue reading Zero Hour For Snake People
...in a bespoke high tech Santa suit, no less . Since I am out subbing for Santa on the North American Route, AND because I'm at least 5 days ahead of schedule on Doclopedia posts, I'll just say... HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYBODY! From all of us on the Magic Bus!
...it's a long story . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,738 Most Wanted : A-E 468 . A-E 468 is wanted for the following crimes. Freeing Human Slaves Arming Humans With Level 4 Weaponry Willful Destruction Of Unity Property Destruction Of Loyal Unity Robots Tampering With Unity Pure Thought Programming A-E 468 is a … Continue reading The Whole Truth About Jake’s Fancy Underwear
...it's very annoying . The Doclopedia #1,736 Enchanted Household Items: Instant Boil Pot . This handy 2 quart pot is both stylish and pours out boiling water even if filled with ice a few seconds earlier. Despite pouring out water at a high temperature, the outside of the pot remains very cool. As part of … Continue reading Dandelion Whine
...two spoonfuls is all you can eat . The Doclopedia #1,734 Enchanted Household Items: Garbage Can Of Holding . As you may have guessed, this looks like an ordinary 50 gallon garbage can, but it holds a whole lot more. Six times more, to be exact. Of course, you will need to warn your garbage … Continue reading All You Can Eat For 50 Cents!
...we were 25 miles away and have witnesses . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,732 Enchanted Household Items: The Stirring Spoon . This medium to large sized spoon can be made of a variety of materials, but is most often wooden or steel. It has the simple enchantment of being able to stir whatever … Continue reading The Night It Rained Purple Paint
...then you cry . The Doclopedia #1,729 Citizens Of The Galaxy: Sisss'ul . . NAME: Sisss'ul . HOME WORLD: Jaaan 2 . DESCRIPTION: Jaaanites look like large tortoises with spider legs and two spider heads on 5 foot long necks. They are almost all dark gray or black. . JOB: Sisss'ul is Quality Control Technician … Continue reading It’s All Fun & Games Until You’re Done Digesting The Chiles
...it just went crazy . The Doclopedia #1,727 Citizens Of The Galaxy: ???? . NAME: Hames Dornell HOME WORLD: Canus 4 DESCRIPTION: Hames is a human/canine hybrid. He looks like an anthropomorphic Labrador. His fur is black with white spots. He stands 6' 2” tall and has a stocky build. He wears glasses. JOB: Hames … Continue reading Mexican Jenny And The Cow That Freaked Out
...smothered in gravy . The Doclopedia #1,725 Citizens Of The Galaxy: Oomgow Moomboolo . NAME: Oomgow Moomboolo HOME WORLD: Roovooloo DESCRIPTION: Looks much like an oak tree that has sinewy tentacles for branches and small scales for bark. Does not have roots. Moves around on a fleshy pseudopod like a snail or slug. Roovooloods have … Continue reading A Pork Chop The Size Of a Manhole Cover
...and then things got interesting . The Doclopedia #1,723 Citizens Of The Galaxy: Saruptyn 59621 . NAME: Saruptyn 59621 HOME WORLD: Huirvek DESCRIPTION: Saruptyn 59621 is a Baqion. They are a race of free willed, sapient, self replicating androids. They are found in 280 Sectors. They all look very much like Terran humans, but with … Continue reading Chapter 295: In Which Our Hero, Lost In The Forests Of Norway, Meets A Young Moose
...60 foot tall atomic horrors! . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,720 Citizens Of The Galaxy: Rizzurk Skozz . NAME: Rizzurk Skozz HOME WORLD: Gergen 4 DESCRIPTION: Rizzurk is a Gergenite. He stands 3 feet tall and measures 5 feet long and roughly 24 inches wide. He has four arms and 6 legs. Like … Continue reading Attack Of The Colossal Chickens
...she knows who she is . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,718 Random Character Creation (Espionage): What Do You Know? . 1: An international criminal organization is up to something. 2: A criminal mastermind up to something. 3: The Russians are up to something. 4: A South American dictator is up to something. 5: … Continue reading My Life With The Banana Eating Hound
...54 years later, I'm still confused by it . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,716 Random Character Creation (Espionage): Who Do You Work For? 1: CIA (USA) 2: S.H.I.E.L.D. (International) 3: MI6 (UK) 4: MSS (China) 5: Men In Black (International) 6: Agency T (Time Patrol) 7: ASIS (Australia) 8: OI-1 (Non-Human Terran) 9: … Continue reading The Day I Learned The Truth About Girls
...in the main window of Macy's . The Doclopedia #1,714 Random Character Creation (Espionage): Who Are You? . 1: Pond, Jane Pond 2: Smythe, David Smythe 3: Polyakova, Irina Polyakova 4: Martin, Jim Martin 5: Solveig, Marta Solveig 6: Kennedy, Nick Kennedy 7: Witkowski, Zofia Witkowski 8: Cho, Jin-woo Cho 9: Ankers, Beth Ankers 10: … Continue reading I Was A Department Store Dummy For The FBI
...she's on a roll . The Doclopedia #1,712 It’s In The Bag!: The Bag Of Holding . Korvic: This taking way too long, Atilda. Atilda: Spells of Detecting take a few minutes. I told you that already. Wado: It's a bag of holding, I tell ya. I've seen a dozen of them. Korvic: And how … Continue reading There’s No Stopping Mrs. Wangdoodle!
...sounds pretty elfy to me. . The Doclopedia #1,710 It’s In The Bag!: The Doggy Poop Bag . "Honey! HONEY! You've gotta see this! Look here, in the poop bag. Yes, that's dog poop but look at it. Yeah, those are gold nuggets! No, they weren't on the ground where he shit. It just came … Continue reading Moon Juice And Starlight Pie
...for characters level 5-7 . The Doclopedia #1,708 It’s In The Bag!: The Body Bag . It had been a long night for Tony and Leon. They had done 3 car crashes, a shootout between two rival gangs and an old dude who had been sick a long time, but had apparently been suffocated by … Continue reading Module E-1: Escape From The Castle Of The Vampire
...not a hardboiled crime story . The Doclopedia #1,706 Tiny Folk Of Note: Yano Hacker . The New York Stock Exchange is one of the most internet connected places on Earth. That's why Yano Hacker and his wife, Breema, live there. For most of their 10,000 year history, the Tiny Folk did not make much … Continue reading The Long Hello
...don't get any snot on you . The Doclopedia #1,704 Tiny Folk Of Note: Talinda Tunneler . First off, Talinda does not dig tunnels. She is, however, the greatest tunnel guide in the London Metropolitan area. If you need to get from Point A to Point B, or anywhere else, Talinda is the woman to … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Long Finned Snotfish Of Potawango Island
...probably should have stopped at C . The Doclopedia #1,702 Tiny Folk Of Note: Hiroshi Yukan'na . His last name means “The Brave”, and he certainly is. To the Tiny Folk living in Kirishima Kinkowan National Park, in Japan, he is the Great Protector, well known for saving lives, fighting off predators and outwitting humans. … Continue reading By The Time We Got To Plan E, We Just Said To Hell With It.