Ox In A Box, Dog In The Fog

...pig on a rig . Become a Patron! And get cool stuff! . . The Doclopedia #1,816 Why I Did It...: Kicked Out The Windshield Courtesy of Alexia Holder Let's start from the beginning, shall we? I was being pursued by three cars full of KGB agents and their hired gangsters, all heavily armed. We …

That Day We Climbed The Redwood Naked

...poor choices were made . Become a Patron! The Doclopedia #1,814 Ten Things You Did Not Know About: Texas . 1: 15% of Texans secretly rage at the fact that they have to eat avocados from California or Mexico. 2: The state never actually won independence from Mexico and has actually been paying that country …

The True Story Of of Ancient Alien Bigfoot

... it was just Nessie fucking around . Become a Patron! The Doclopedia #1,812 Ten Things You Did Not Know About: The Lunar Colony . 1: Viewed from the Earth, you will see one large (16 kilometer) blue dome surrounded by 8 smaller (8 kilometer) green domes. 2: The blue dome houses the Lunar Lake, …

Soup Cake!

...everybody loves it . Become a Patron! The Doclopedia #1,810 Ten Things You Did Not Know About: Class 5 Robots . 1: They have two brains! 1 Mark VII Mindmaster and 1 Mark IV Smarty 2: Class 5 Robots are made of steeluminum 3: They are superior in every way to Class 4 Robots 4: …

Make Big Money Taunting English Knniggits

...I'll miss Terry Jones . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,808 Ten Things You Did Not Know About: Godzilla . 1: He suffers from gout 2: He collects Mothra toys 3: His nickname is Zills 4: He did a 4 week run of his one kaiju play, “Tokyo Stomp, off Broadway in 1978 5: …

The Adventure Of The Royal Ptarmigan

...I just wanted to use "ptarmigan" in something . Become a Patron! The Doclopedia #1,806 Why I Did It...: Let The Mad Scientist In Courtesy of Gerry Chriest Do I regret it? What the hell do you think? Look around! There in the back yard? That's a goddamn Kaiju footprint where my putting green used …

The Outlaw Jersey Whales

...not starring Clint Eastwood . Become a Patron! The Doclopedia #1,804 Why I Did It...: Pitted Them Against An Illithid Courtesy of Kevin Rice Short answer? Because they hit 3rd level and got too damned cocky. A fighter, wizard, cleric and thief who had it a bit too easy coming up and started thinking they …

It’s All Fun & Games Until You Have To Regenerate

...for like, the 8th time that year . Become a Patron! The Doclopedia #1,802 Why I Did It...: Got On The Plane Courtesy of Ginie Murphy Okay, I got on the plane to get away from your mother. Come on, Annie, you know she has a voice like a cheese grater and she sucks they …

Raccoons With Clubs, Badgers With Knives, Foxes With Chains

...it's a rumble in the forest! . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,800 Rats: The Kaiju Rat Of Sumatra One of the “lost” Earth 2-S Sherlock Holmes stories, this one was suppressed by Holmes & Watson on the grounds that it would cause worldwide panic. Oddly, this was one of the very few casually …

Pieboy Meets The Mobsters

...and by "meet" I mean "ran like hell from" . Become a Patron! The Doclopedia #1,798 Rats: The Servants Of Lorga You ask me about Lorga, so I will tell you what I know. He is a vampire and has lived here in Poland for the last 275 years. Before that, I cannot say, though …

The Rare And Beautiful Hanging Turtles Of Potawango Island

...don't walk under them, or they'll bite you . The Doclopedia #1,796 Classified Ads: Free Flooning Uniform: I played Mid-League Flooning when I was younger, but I'm 40 and fat now. Would like to give this uniform to a young person that could use it. Size 10 Regular. In very good shape. Box Of Old …

Cod Is My Co-Pilotfish

...that sounds fishy to me . The Doclopedia #1,794 Classified Ads: Pets Enhanced Cat: Lovelace is a 10 month old white Rex female. Spayed. Enhanced with limited chameleonic powers. Super friendly and very healthy. Eats regular cat food. Asking a $500.00 rehoming fee. Mated Pair of Spotted Curmas: 2 years old and super healthy. Male …

The 29 Things You Should Never Buy

...#4: severed human heads . The Doclopedia #1,791 People with Swords: Samurai Monkey . In the Country of the Animals, there are many evildoers who flaunt the laws of Emperor Gorilla. Samurai Monkey is the swordsman charged with punishing these miscreants. With his two swords and his great skill in battle, he deals out swift …

This Is Probably Just A Dream

...wakey wakey . The Doclopedia #1,789 People With Swords: Melanna the Magnificent . It was after her very first trip into a dungeon, as part of a fairly large party of adventurers, that Melanna decided that just knowing how to cast spells was not enough. After all, once a Wizard uses up their daily allowance …

Not In This Issue: Pogo Sticks, How To Cook Veal, Skunks And Easter Bonnets

...next month, easter bonnets for sure . The Doclopedia #1,786 People With Swords: The Clockwork Swordsman . Nobody knows who built the Clockwork Swordsman, but there are reliable reports that he has been around for at least 200 years. Since the Swordsman himself cannot speak, he can’t confirm or deny any of the reports. You …

Bigfoot At A Truck Stop

...trying to get some breakfast . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,782 Spies: Secret Alien Man . In May of 1900, a small spacecraft crash landed near Cody, Wyoming. The pilot survived the crash and was able to modify his physical form so that he could pass for human. After destroying his now useless …

I Can Turn Water Into Wind

...fucking typo! . The Doclopedia #1,780 Spies: Circe LeBeaux . Circe is a freelancer who works for whoever pays her…and she’s not inexpensive. She uses seduction on men (and some women) whenever she can, but is also very well versed in all of the other tricks of the spy trade. Although she doesn’t like doing …

Moss Is The Key!

...nope, know idea where that came from . The Doclopedia # 1,778 My Earliest RPG Characters: Willy Wabbit Madcap Toon Muscle: 7 Smarts: 9 Zip: 8 Chutzpah: 9 Shticks: Quick Change/Disguise, Bag of Many Things Beliefs & Goals: Everybody else is a chump, so you can feel free to mess with them. Being crazy is …

Mr. Porkwaffle Finds A Treasure

...and gets taxed for it . Become a Patron! . The Doclopedia #1,776 My Earliest RPG Characters: Sir Mallard Gloranthan Duck Knight Strength: -1 Constitution: +1 Dexterity: +2 Intelligence: +1 Wisdom: +1 Charisma: +1 Advantages: Small and Quick, Brave, Noble Disadvantages: Arrogant, Different (he’s a Duck), Short Powers/Gifts: None Primary Skills: Shortsword +1, Short Bow +1, Dodge +2 Background: Sir …

Chapter 881: In Which Young Nell, Passing As A Teenage Boy, Joins The British Navy

...pretty sure she hasn't heard of rum, the lash and buggery . The Doclopedia #1,774 My Earliest RPG Characters:  Brother Willow Monk Strength: +2 Constitution: +2 Dexterity: +4 Intelligence: +1 Wisdom: +2 Charisma: +1 Advantages: Low Profile, High Pain Threshold, Unfazeable Disadvantages: Too Trusting, Will Not Use Weapons (other than his walking staff), Foreigner Powers/Gifts: Enhanced Speed (+1 …

Hey! It’s The Funny Hat Guys!

...those wacky guys in their crazy hats . The Doclopedia #1,772 Aliens: Grikk . Grikk (his proper name is Grikkkkkkkikikkkkkakkkikakorrrkakorkik) is a District Leader of the Wrok (proper name: Wrokokaaakakikiokarkarkikokik) species of aliens from the planet Renzeb 4. The Wrok first came to Earth 120,000 years ago and have been living here quite contentedly ever …

Hairy Pupper And The Ghostly Goat

...it haunted Dogwart's . The Doclopedia #1,770 Aliens: Dorgash 9933 . Dorgash 9933 is the owner and captain of the freighter “Red Gnartok” and is known across the Thousand Suns Empire as an honest businessbeing. Her crew, which numbers 15 beings from 4 species, are very loyal to her and she to them. Together, they …

Big Tiny And His All Cat Orchestra

...meow! . The Doclopedia #1,768 Aliens: Dweeno . Dweeno is 12 inches tall and looks for all the world like a stuffed teddy bear. He has a very sweet disposition and everyone who meets him likes him. Dweeno is also a very accomplished quantum drive mechanic and can brew a wonderfully potent ale that his …

Frantic Muskrats Trampled My Begonias

...it was just terrible . The Doclopedia #1,766 Aliens: Lorigal . Lorigal is the sole surviving member of the ZhuKot race. When the various slave races rose up and destroyed the ZhuKoth, Lorigal was barely able to escape. Unfortunately, his ship developed an instability in it’s hyperdrive and he had to abandon ship in a …

Not The Worst We Could Do

...but not for lack of trying . The Doclopedia #1,764 Six Rumors I Heard...: In The Castle . 1: Did you hear? The King and Queen had quite the row last night and now he is going off to his hunting lodge for a week, no doubt to practice his bum kissing for when he …