…for like, the 8th time that year
The Doclopedia #1,802
Why I Did It…: Got On The Plane
Courtesy of Ginie Murphy
Okay, I got on the plane to get away from your mother. Come on, Annie, you know she has a voice like a cheese grater and she sucks they joy out of entire houses, not just rooms. She bitches about EVERYTHING and nobody is good enough for her. Hell yes I jumped on a plane for Europe. I know your mother has a big fear of flying and the Atlantic Ocean is just about enough distance between her and I.
Sweetheart, I hear her ranting in the next room and I know you hate it. Look, your job is a dead end and your mom will make you crazy sooner or later. There’s a brand new backpack under your bed and it has a one way ticket to Paris in it. Tell your boss you’re quitting, sublet the apartment to Hani and Yuna and come on over. It’s not like we have kids or even a pet. We can do all that traveling we talked about, then head to California. I can work for my uncle while you find a job. Come on, baby, make the break.
Yeah, I hear her getting closer. Hang up now and I’ll see you soon.
The Doclopedia #1,803
Why I Did It…: Admitted My Guilt
Courtesy of Spike Y Jones
Fellow Ethroons, I have admitted my guilt in the wanton destruction of the Grand Kaloon’s temple, but before you decide my fate, let me tell you why I did it.
Oh yes, I could have very easily let you continue blaming the Kaloon’s nephew for the crime. His bad feelings toward his uncle go back 30 cycles that we know of. It was the simplest thing to destroy the temple after one of their many public arguments, letting him take the blame. After all, he is a hot tempered winzar that indulges far too often in joog and ris. He has a long record with the High Guard. Even better, his mind is blank about the entire night in question.
But I did not do that. No, I admitted my guilt and told everyone here the details of the crime, right in front of the Grand Kaloon and the High Guard. But why, you ask? Why would a noble with my stature do such a terrible act?
It is because the Grand Kaloon is not as he seems! He is in fact, NOT a Kaloon at all, but a Durnoon! He is not a Chosen Leader, but a clever spy come to destroy our way of life! Strip he robes from him and press a hot quiln against his flesh!
There! See how his filthy shapeshifting powers fail him! Behold, a Durnoon of their upper classes. Yes, guards, take him away for questioning!