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The Doclopedia #2,077

Twenty Miles Through The Goblinwood: The First Five Miles

Now you listen up, “adventurers”, because I done been through the Goblinwood and back. All it cost me was this eye, a gimpy leg and three of my best mates.

Now, you lot’ll be going through 20 Mile Gap, and for sure, that’s the narrowest part of them woods. Anywhere else, you’d be going 50 miles or more. ‘Course, that narrow gap is the most dangerous part, because folks keep going through it like fools, Or, like folks in a big damned hurry to kill the Goblin Lord. Again. I hate that enchanted son of a bitch.

Now, the first mile or so along the trail, the woods ain’t too thick, so you can make good time, as long as a flying snake or a spikerock don’t get you. If you see the Black Stag, throw somethin’ shiny to him. A silver piece will do and he’ll stare at it long enough for you to slip away.

Around two miles in, the trees get taller and thicker. Bloodcats live up high in those trees, but they’ll come right down if they smell blood, so try not to be bleeding. And if you see groupsof little red mushrooms, don’t step on them. Those are baby Fungurillas and you don’t want the adults after you.

So the three miles you’ll travel until you get to Blood Creek are damned dangerous, but once you get to the creek, you can rest a few minutes. My late friend Coliria cast her Dying Spell on the big flat rock you’ll find there, so no harm will come to you.

But that won’t help you worth a shit once you cross the creek and start the next 5 miles. Now go get me another ale and two of them pickled eggs.

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The Doclopedia #2,078

Twenty Miles Through The Goblinwood: The Second Five Miles

After you take a short rest at Safe Rock, and it had better be damned short if you want to go on living, you jump across Blood Creek and keep on the trail. No, young Wizard, the creek ain’t very wide. Maybe 3 feet. Even a fella like you can jump across it.

Once you are across, the trail runs strait as a sword for three miles. You run at a good clip and don’t trip over a tree root and you’ll make good time. That is, unless the White Madness is around. Oh, you’ve heard of it, Sister? Yeah, it’s nothing but evil. About rhe size of a large horse and all bloblike. Got one big red eye and half a dozen mouths and all sorts of tentacles. You see it, you toss some holy water on it and then run like your asses are on fire. It can’t outrun you and after a while it will give up.

While your running or trotting along the trail, if you see a swarm of little purple critters that look like pixies, just fireball ’em and keep on going. They’re a Spriteswarm. Individually no thtreat, but in a big swarm they can hurt you good.

When the straight path starts to curve and twist, slow down. We didn’t encounter the hag there, but we found evidence that she was around. I hear a few years later that she killed a big barbarian member of the Hard Luck Nine adventuring band. Most likely, she cooked him up and ate him.

After a couple of miles, you see the trees thin out and get really tall. Some of them pines are 500 feet if they’e an inch and the oaks have branches as wide as a country road. Congratulations, You’re now halfway through the 20 Mile Gap and in one of the most dangerous parts of the whole damned forest.

I’ll tell you all about it after I go take a piss.

Author: Doc Cross

I write things that I think people might enjoy reading, especially if they are roleplayers or just strange.

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