Chrome Plated Tigers

…deadly, but way cool lookin’

Well, yesterday’s 1 hour shopping trip stretched to 3 hours, but at least we got alot of the stuff we’ll be taking to Hawaii. Since I’ll be taking the backpack full of laptop, vidcam, still cam and all necessary accessories (which will weigh about a ton), Grace will take the backpack full of clothes. We plan on buying extra clothes and all personal grooming items while there, then shipping home what doesn’t fit in the backpacks. See, Uncle Doc does not trust airlines not to lose his stuff, so we only do check on baggage.

We have a few things left to buy, but not anything big. Then, we’ll be ready for Kaua’I and the Big Island. Woohoo! I shall post to LJ from Hawaii and will make pics available for your viewing pleasure. October 2 is our departure date.

Got the spniach bed ready yesterday, but didn’t plant the seeds due to heavy bird activity in my yard. I just know those little fuckers were waiting for me to lay out the seed buffet. I’ll plant the seeds later today, after our Game Session.

Said Game Session will not be The Adventures Of Zora, since the laptop is still in the shop. Instead, I’ll most likely run a mini-dungeon full of hack & slash merriment. 

And now, today’s character. Only 332 to go!

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Today, we meet Oak Hill’s mayor. As misfits to one’s species go, she’s just about the ultimate.

#33:  Mayor Lola the Night Hag

STR: 11
CON: 14
DEX: 12
INT: 15
WIS: 13
CHA: 18

Mayor Lola is everything a Night Hag is not supposed to be: Beautiful, kind, caring, Lawful Good and a vegetarian. No wonder she was banished from Hades! 

After several years of travelling about and doing good deeds in the Lands of Men, Lola had developed quite a following of misfit creatures that are usually called monsters. Deciding that they needed a home to call their own, Lola chose Oak hill and soon a villageb sprang up with her as the “Mayor for life”.

Lola works hard to keep things running smoothly and personally welcomes each new citizen that wanders in from outside of town. She meets once a month with the Town Council to discuss village business and also teaches art classes at the village school. Lola is married to Armand the Were-Dog (under the full moon, he turns into a Golden Retriever) and has two adopted children.

In her very rare spare time, Lola enjoys singing in the town choir, reading stories to her children and tossing a ball under the full moon for Armand to fetch.



Dreams Of Racing To GenCon

…cross country, full speed ahead

Yeah, I had a dream that Spike Y Jones and I were one of several teams involved in a cross country race from San Francisco to GenCon Indy. I don’t know who won, but just before I woke up Spike and I were 2 hours ahead and just leaving St. Louis.

I’m gonna post today’s character, then go tend to gardening chores before joining My Sweet Little Spinning Dolphin Of Love on a quest to buy stuff for the Hawaii trip.

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Ya know that cranky old neighbor man who always yells at kids who walk past his house? Well, here is Oak Hill’s version of him.

#32:  Grug the Goblin

STR: 7
CON: 8
DEX: 7
INT: 10
WIS: 12
CHA: 6

Grug, or “Ol’ Man Grug” as the neighborhood kids like to call him, lives in a modest little house on 120 Ochre Jelly Street. He lives with his wife, Mokli (a very pleasant goblin lady, by all accounts) and their pet blink dog, Blinky.

Grug spends most of his time tending his garden, mowing his lawn and yelling at any neighbor kids who get withing 20 feet of his property. Sometimes you can find him in the back yard fixing things or picking zapples from his zapple tree, but mostly, he’s out front on Kid Lookout.

In his spare time (which is generally after dark when the kids are in their homes) Grug enjoys playing checkers, drinking hard zapple cider, talking about “the good old days” and generally being a cantankerous old fart.

The House Of Whacks

…the most popular BDSM playhouse in the city

I like that one. It cracked me up.

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Sometimes, a gal just needs to show the guys she can be rough and tough. Sometimes, she needs to act girly. Today’s character does both.

#31:  Bronwyn the Yeti

STR: 18
CON: 18
DEX: 12
INT: 12
WIS: 10
CHA: 8

Bronwyn, or Bronny as her friends like to call her, is Oak Hill’s blacksmith. Given her height of 8’3″ and her enormous strength, blacksmithing is a pretty easy job for her. She also uses her metalworking skills to create lovely wrought Iron artwork. Her work is in high demand.

Actually, her artwork isn’t all that is in high demand. Bronny herself has several suitors, including Ed the Ogre, Dr. Azkorak the Centaur and Lucius the Brownie (gotta give Lucius an A for effort). So far, when asked about who she fancies most, Bronny just giggles and blushes.

In her spare time, Bronny enjoys hiking, dancing and sewing.


The World Champion Barbed Wire Fence Diver

…not a single fuckin’ scratch on him

I did something to fuck up my left shoulder the other day…might have strained it gardening, might have slept on it wrong…and it has been hurting like hell the past two days. It’s feeling a bit better now, but still nowhere near 100%.

Not much else to report, so I’ll post today’s character and then go watch Giant From The Unknown thanks to Netflix

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Here we have one of the classic AD&D Monster Manual creatures…and he’s doing a job he loves.

#30:  Ollie the Otyugh

STR: 15
CON: 13
DEX: 12
INT: 9
WIS: 5
CHA: 5

Nobody knows what Ollie did before he came to Oak Hill, but he certainly couldn’t have been a horrible cavern dwelling monster like most Otyughs. Ollie was a very pleasant, if a bit odiferous, fellow who was always smiling and greeted everyone with a pleasant hello. It is suspected that Ollie might be some mutant strain of Neo-Otyugh, but nobody knows for sure.

It didn’t take long for Ollie to find his place in the community: down in the cesspool/garbage pit. As Ollie likes to say “What you cast off is my buffet!”.  Ollie can be found in the cesspool most of the time, but he does like to come to the local inn (after a good long shower under the local waterfall) to participate in sing alongs and catch up on local gossip.

In his spare time, Ollie enjoys playing darts, hunting for swamp rats and volunteering for the town watch. 

Golden Chipmunk, Silver Weasel

…ooh, shiny

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character:  Hey, kids, it’s AD&D Monsters As Characters Week. All of these monsters live in the village of misfit monsters, Oak Hill. Our first character is the village baker.

#29: Snord the Bugbear

STR: 18
CON: 16
DEX: 11
INT: 10
WIS: 8
CHA: 8

Snord was always a bit smarter that most of the other bugbears in his tribe. It was this very intelligence that eventually got him kicked out of the tribe and chased into the wilderness. Seems the bugbear bossman knew a potential threat when he saw one.

After many days of wandering aimlessly through the wilderness, Snord happened upon the village of Oak Hill. As was their way, the other misfit monsters welcomed him and then gave him a job to do: baker’s apprentice. Snord took to the work and now, 3 years later, has become the village baker.

Snord is 8 feet tall, has tawny brown shaggy fur, long pointed ears and big green eyes. He usually wears a pair of cloth pants and an apron.

In his spare time, Snord enjoys fishing, dancing and listening to the Storyteller.

Cruisin’ For Babes In The Frozen Foods Aisle

…there’s a nip in the air. Several of ’em, in fact.

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character:  We’ll close out Pirates & Scoundrels Week with a true scalawag who may be a birdbrain, but he still rules the roost. Starting tomorrow: D&D Monsters As Characters Week

#28: Captain Squawky 

Main Trait: Human level intelligence
Second Trait: Flight
Third Trait: Speech

Flaws: Not much of a threat physically, no opposable thumbs

Captain Squawky is a mutant African Grey parrot who somehow absorbed theintellect of Captain Josiah Wilks…better known as Captain Satan. At the moment that Captain Satan died, his mind was transferred into his parrot, Squawky. The bird then proceeded to tell the crew how to get out of the trap that His Majesty’s Navy had laid for them. Once safely away from danger, the ill educated and very superstitious crew decided that they’d better do as Captain Squawky said and let him run the ship, lest he summon the Devil himself to drag them all to Hell. And that’s how the most feared pirate ship ever came to be captained by a parrot.

In his spare time, Captain Squawky enjoys drinking rum, eating sunflower seeds and overseeing floggings.

Doc Tempest And The Frozen Men

…from the august 1949 issue

Ooh Laa Wee, boys & girls…old Uncle Doc is pretty well tuckered out. I gardened most of the early afternoon and then, after a break to watch part of a Dirty Jobs marathon, I cooked for a few hours. Now, I’m ready to relax. But first…

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character:  Today we have a good old fashioned Wild West highwayman/train robber…with one little secret.

#27: The Calaveras Kid 

Main Trait: Dead shot with a pistol
Second Trait: Expert rider
Third Trait: Expert escape planner

Flaws: Won’t kill, Big secret

Although his first stagecoach robberies took place near the gold mining areas of Calaveras County, California, the Kid has robbed stages, trains and unwary riders all over Eastern California and Western Nevada. Both Union Pacific and Wells Fargo have rewards out for his capture.

The Calaveras Kid is most well known for his amazing escapes from pursuing posses. His horse has got to be the fastest one alive and the Kid knows exactly what escape route to take every time. He has even gone so far as to construct makeshift bridges across canyons…bridges that collapse after he uses them. Once, he and his horse even escaped by leaping onto a moving train.

The Kid’s big secret is pretty big indeed…he’s not human. He is a robot accidentally sent back in time during a 22nd Century experiment at creating a warp drive for spacecraft. Originally designated PB213-G, the robot soon got the nickname Peebee. His neurotronic brain is capable of learning, making decisions using fuzzy logic and even of simulating emotion. Or so his builders would tell you. Peebee would tell you he is a humanoid intelligence in a biosim body.

Once he figured out that he was about 400 years in the past, Peebee decided to live out one of his favorite fantasies: Robin Hood. It took little effort to adapt it to the Wild West (Peebee liked Zorro, too) and soon, The Calaveras Kid was robbing from the rich and giving to the poor.

In his spare time, Peebee likes hanging out with humans, studying nature and experimenting with altering history.