Hairy Pupper And The Ghostly Goat

…it haunted Dogwart’s

The Doclopedia #1,770

Aliens: Dorgash 9933


Dorgash 9933 is the owner and captain of the freighter “Red Gnartok” and is known across the Thousand Suns Empire as an honest businessbeing. Her crew, which numbers 15 beings from 4 species, are very loyal to her and she to them. Together, they keep the 1.5 mile ship running and busy.

Dorgash 9933 trades in a wide variety of items, but she does have a few taboos. Slaves, narcotics and heavy weaponry are out just on principle. Exotic matter is out due to the danger and live animals are absolutely out due to what Dorgash 9933 and her crew refer to as “The S’Krondian Zoo Incident”.

Dorgash 9933 is a Iskillian female of average (6′) height and weight (190 pounds). She has triangular vision patches, white & yellow fur and 3 different scent glands. In her spare time , she enjoys playing coswix, eating hooshal and watching professional pit fighters.




The Doclopedia #1,771

Aliens: Monek Vuu


Monek Vuu came to Earth to study a species that was amazingly similar, physically, to his own. With only a minimal amount of genetic reconfiguration, he made himself look exactly like them. Then, alone, he came to Earth and infiltrated a group of them. The fools back at the University of Jittaki would soon regret labelling him a “washed up has been”.

Things went well for Monek over the first 3 months. He would sneak back to his ship every week or so to write down his observations and have a bottle of suzzok. Then, in the beginning of the fourth month, things took a bad turn. Humans came and captured Monek and his entire adopted family. He considered trying to reason with the humans, then thought better of it. After all, humans were notoriously unreasonable.

After many days, they were put upon a transport vessel that brought them to their present home. Monek tried several times to escape, but the humans had them locked up tight. After a time, Monek decided to wait, study the human language and eventually try to make contact. So far, things are progressing slowly, but Monek is optimistic.

Besides, posing as a chimpanzee wasn’t such a bad gig.

Big Tiny And His All Cat Orchestra



The Doclopedia #1,768

Aliens: Dweeno


Dweeno is 12 inches tall and looks for all the world like a stuffed teddy bear. He has a very sweet disposition and everyone who meets him likes him. Dweeno is also a very accomplished quantum drive mechanic and can brew a wonderfully potent ale that his people call “Gwiiish”.



The Doclopedia #1,769

Aliens: Jix the Conqueror


Jix, or as he is more commonly known, High Warlord Jix, is the iron fisted ruler of 67 planetary systems. He used to rule 71, but he got bored one day and destroyed 4 of them. On a good day, the trillions of people he rules over merely fear him more than anything else in life. On a bad day, they fear him so much their heads explode.

When he is not conquering new systems, torturing his enemies, laying waste to ecosystems, terrorizing the free worlds or strangling kittens & puppies, Jix likes long walks on the beach, cuddling and baking cookies.


Frantic Muskrats Trampled My Begonias

…it was just terrible

The Doclopedia #1,766

Aliens: Lorigal


Lorigal is the sole surviving member of the ZhuKot race. When the various slave races rose up and destroyed the ZhuKoth, Lorigal was barely able to escape. Unfortunately, his ship developed an instability in it’s hyperdrive and he had to abandon ship in a lifepod. Fortunately for him, ZhuKoth lifepods are virtually indestructible and the suspended animation freezing units are self repairing. Unfortunately, Lorigal’s lifepod was in the middle of nowhere, so all he could do was lock it onto the nearest star (210 light years away) and head thataway…at 5% the speed of light. Still, Lorigal doesn’t care…he’s frozen solid.

Lorigal stands 9 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 1,200 pounds. He is a tentacled reptile with a centauroid body. When he arrives on a planet that can sustain his type of lifeform (such as Earth), he will initiate his self fertilizing option and give birth to 3-6 fast growing young. Once he has a decent sized army built up, he will start conquering the new planet.



The Doclopedia #1,767

Aliens: Hek 40


Hek 40, or Hec Forte as he is known here on Earth, is a member of the Aarini race. The Aarini are robotic life forms from the far side of our galaxy. They generally keep to themselves and their 4 solar systems, but Hek 40 was always an explorer. One day, he explored a wormhole and the next thing he knew he was crash landing on Earth in the year 1930.

It took Hek 40 about 2 weeks to learn everything he needed to know about humans, create an organic covering for his body and become Hec Forte, jazz pianist and singer. So far, he has been on Earth for 10 months and he is enjoying every minute of it. He has an apartment, a girlfriend, lots of musician friends to jam with and a pocket full of money. Life is good.


The Rare And Beautiful Squealing Lizards Of Potawango Island

…they drop out of trees onto your head

The Doclopedia #1,119

A Child’s Book Of…: Aliens

A few excerpts:

BALROGIANS are named after the Balrog from “Lord of the Rings, but they are not evil at all. Standing 15 feet tall, the Balrogians are sometimes referred to as the “Gardeners of the Galaxy” because they are masters of tending plant life.

Balrogians come from the Fentarus system, which is 350 light years from earth. They have muscular bodies, red and black skin, no hair and big horns. They can only speak to other sapients using a Universal Translator because they normally communicate in the subsonic range.

There are 320 Balrogians living on Earth. Most of them are studying Terran Botany.

GOOOODAKDAKDAKS come from the two largest gas giants orbiting Morax Alpha. They somewhat resemble Terran jellyfish, but are much larger. The biggest among them are 15 meters across and 45 meters long.

The Goooodakdakdaks have little in the way of advanced technology, but are masters of mathematics, philosophy, organic chemistry (which they can do within themselves) and a type of art called “gas sculpture”.

Only a very few Goooodakdakdaks have ever left their home system. To do this requires enormous and expensive ships and at least 7 Goooodakdakdaks to travel together. Currently, they are looking into colonizing gas giants in other systems.

NOATIANS are native to the planet Hargivar, which is currently experiencing an ice age. The primitive Noatians live near the edge of the great ice sheets and are hunter gatherers who do a bit of farming (mostly tubers) during the short spring and summer.

Noatians look remarkably human and are 87% genetically compatible with Terran humans. It is believed that they might be descended from humans taken from Earth by the First Races.

Teaching Betty To Bop

…wop a loo bop!


The Doclopedia #1,114

The Alphabet: X is for…


…is an earth-like planet located 300 light years from Earth. It orbits a yellow star slightly (2% larger) than our own and is the fourth planet in a system of 10. Like Earth, it has a large moon and plenty of water (65% of the planetary surface). Xorolxee is about 10% larger than Earth.

Xorolxee is a warmer world than ours and teams with life of all sorts. The 4 large continents each have very distinct species that inhabit everything from polar icecaps to steaming jungles to enormous deserts. It is a mystery to scientists that most of the land based lifeforms on Xorolxee are smaller than a small cow. There are no land based lifeforms larger than a water buffalo. The oceans are another matter, because there you will find several lifeforms that could swallow a blue whale in one gulp.

Xorolxee has no sentient lifeforms. There are some indications that civilization existed once, but these await further exploration to prove that.

The Doclopedia #1,115

The Alphabet: Y is for…


…or, as the gnomes refer to him, Yark the Most Dangerous. This is a fitting name for the most accident prone gnome inventor of all time. In his short 40 year life, Yark was responsible for the destruction of a gnomish town (mechanical wheat harvester malfunctioned), a war (clockwork soldiers went berserk), a volcanic eruption (mechanical “mole” could not be controlled) and the sinking of an entire island (sonic ditch digger overloaded). Those are just a few of his many screw ups.

Yark was finally killed by one of his inventions (a magical powered mechanical fruit picker) on a summer day in 1409. Gnomes and other intelligent races celebrated his demise.


The Doclopedia #1,116

The Alphabet: Z is for…

Zally Z. Zmith…

…chose to spell her name that way just to be different. When she turned 18, she had it legally changed to that spelling. She then went on to live a pretty bohemian lifestyle for the next 22 years.

On her 40th birthday, the alien Zigzz invaded earth. They made Zally their Queen because she was the only human with a proper sounding name.


Zally was a benevolent and beloved Queen of All Earth for the next 65 years.

The Fattest Mouse Gets Eaten First

…and other proverbs

The Doclopedia #1,101

The Alphabet: K is for…

Kangaroo Uprising


…that’s what it was, mate! The bloody Kangs rose up against the Koalas and Wombats, trying to take control of Australia. It was a damned close thing at first, what with the Cockatoos and Wallabys on their side and us with only the Platypuses and Kookaburras. Two years it went on, and many died on both sides before we got the Emus, Dingoes and Birds of Prey on our side.

After that, it weren’t long before the Kangs gave up and things got sorted out by the politicians. Now, three generations on, we’re all right, mate. Of course, the humans all got wiped out, but there never were many of those blokes anyway.


…was an alien of the K’or Dishi race who had the unfortunate luck of straying too near Fantasy Earth 43, where magic prevented any technology greater than the simplest clockwork mechanisms. His small spacecraft shut down and he was barely able to guide it into a crash landing in a large alpine lake.

Escaping with his life and nothing more, K’vek started exploring this strange world. Since he looked somewhat like a large flightless bird with arms instead of wings, he stayed hidden from the dominant sentient races. Fortunately, he could eat this planet’s animals and plants, so starvation was not a worry.

Eventually, K’vek was found by a young mage who had detected an “otherworldly presence” using a spell of detection. After some tense moments, they were able to converse and learned much about each other. The mage, one Terulin by name, invited the alien to come stay at his home, an invitation K’vek was happy to accept.

Over the years, the two became close friends and Terulin explained K’vek to the outside world as “a rather successful experiment in polymorphing”. Using K’vek’s advanced abilities at mentally computing probabilities and chemistry, they sent parties of adventurers out on many successful missions, making all involved quite wealthy.

K’vek died peacefully in his sleep at the age of 187. Terulin, only a few months from death himself, used his wizardly skills to create statues of himself and his old friend. These huge crystal statues still stand unchanged amidst the ancient ruins of Castle Terulin.

Slippery Dugongs Mocked My Weasels

…they were so sad:(


The Doclopedia #1,029

For A Good Time, Call…: Joey The Bug

When visiting Outland Station 5 for the first time, the neophyte traveler (and even a good many experienced travelers) will find it advantageous to seek out the well known local character known as Joey the Bug.

Joey is indeed an insectoid, a member of the HrroooOnnn race. Resembling a cross between an ant and a beetle, he’s the fellow who knows how to find what you need, be it a good place to eat & drink, reliable transport out into the Frontier or any of several other services.

(NOTE: The author and publisher of this guide do not condone any activities that violate Galactic Law.)

Joey’s rates are fair and, in many cases, negotiable. He prefers to be paid in Galactic Creds, but will not turn down gems, precious metals, Telk Spice, live feeth or other valuable items.

(NOTE: The author and publisher of this guide do not condone the possession or trading of materials or devices forbidden by Galactic Law.)

To find Joey the Bug, go to the Oxmium Saloon of the corner of 333rd Street and Yurn War Avenue. Tell any bartender there that you are looking for Joey, then order a Novarian Ale and wait.