It’s All Fun And Games Until Your Cousin Turns Into A Weretiger And Goes On A Rampage

…man, did that birthday party suck

It’s supposed to hit 105 today and it’s gotta be 100 or better out right now. Normally, this would not stop me from doing yard work and other outside stuff (except for dog walking, because The Girls feel the heat and do their business as fast as possible so as to get back into the air conditioned house), but today, there is something in the air that is seriously fucking with my allergies. After maybe 10 minutes out (this morning, when it was barely 80) I had a motherfucker of a sinus headache that took a fistful of aspirin and an hour indoors to get rid of.

Stupid allergies!

In other news, starting Monday I’ll be applying for jobs I’d really rather not do, but am now too poor and overcome by cabin fever to turn down. Should I get one of them, expect me to turn into a miserable son of a bitch after about the first month. By the end of the second month, I’ll be stomping Tokyo into a smoldering ruin. After that, look for me with a gun on a high tower near you.

Ok, enough bitching. I’m off to surf the net for information on the high paying world of running ones own religion. Or maybe robbing from the rich and keeping it. Or selling ones soul…wait, did that one back in 1972. Shit.

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Dorsey The Fence Makes A Bad Business Decision

…and ends up on the run

Hi there! My allergies have lessened up on their assault, but I’m still Mr. Sneezy. So, instead of writing an entry for this morning, I’ve let Daisy and Winker do it.

Daisy: Woof! Wiff, wuff, bark, bark. Bark, ruff, ruff, woof? Whine, bow wow, wuff, wuff! Woof, woof, bow wow, wuff. Bark, bark!

Winker: Wiff, wiff, woof! Woof, woof, whine, bark. Wuff! Bow wow, bow wow, ruff. Woof, woof? Rrrrrowf!

More bloggage later today.

Pirate Chipmunks Go Wild

…carousing, looting, eating out of bird feeders

You know what? Allergies SUCK! My nose is runny, I get sneezing fits and every so often, my left eye (never the right eye. what the hell’s up with that?) itches like crazy. Blahhh! I feel like stomping Tokyo into fiery ruins.

The 9 Things You Never Want To Say To A Rabid Mink

…of course, if you speak mink, there are 14 more

Despite being brought to a state of near death by allergies, I shall still attempt to entertain you via the following IM exchange made earlier tonight.

DocCross [7:05 P.M.]: I, on the other hand, am being skullfucked by a dedicated team of allergy goblins.
DocCross [7:06 P.M.]: If I felt like shit, it would be a step up.
Avylou [7:06 P.M.]: Sorry to hear it.
Avvylou [7:07 P.M.]: Millie got the ice cream carton stuck on her head for a second earlier.
DocCross [7:07 P.M.]: my head explodes regularly, my nose has become Victoria Falls, I cough about every 3 seconds and my body, already screwed by only a few hours of sleep last night, aches.
DocCross [7:07 P.M.]: A lesser man would be dead by now.
Avylou [7:08 P.M.]: how long will your allergy season last?
DocCross [7:09 P.M.]: On the infintesimal bright side, my shiny new Ear Nose and Throat doctor said I have only minimal throat damage from reflux and in all other respects my sinuses and throat are fine.
DocCross [7:09 P.M.]: Allergies this time of year could last 2 weeks.
Avylou [7:10 P.M.]: That’s an encouraging report from the doc. She/he give you any good meds for the allergies?
DocCross [7:10 P.M.]: The early summer head exploding sinus headache allergy season will last 1-3 days.
DocCross [7:11 P.M.]: During which time, I will vacillate between pitiful wimp and surly S.O.B.
DocCross [7:11 P.M.]: Yes, he gave me meds. Just took the first pill a bit ago.
Avylou [7:11 P.M.]: what are you taking?
DocCross [7:12 P.M.]: Jeez, I just read all of the above stuff I wrote. I’m a rather verbose motherfucker, ain’t I?
Avylou [7:13 P.M.]: yep, that you are
Avylou [7:13 P.M.]: :-)
DocCross [7:13 P.M.]: I’m taking Pantoprazole, which sounds like an Italian dish.
Avylou [7:13 P.M.]: for your sinuses? that sounds more like a reflux medicine…
Avylou [7:14 P.M.]: yep, that’s what it is (just googled it) –
DocCross [7:14 P.M.]: I have asked Grace to please shoot me, but alas, we do not own a gun. If I don’t get a good night’s sleep, I shall ask her to poison me.
Avylou [7:14 P.M.]: proton pump inhibitor
DocCross [7:16 P.M.]: I feel vaguely uneasy about having my proton pumps, or indeed, any of my pumps, inhibited.

More bloggage later.