Garlic In The Laundry

…I forgot that it was in my pocket

The Doclopedia #1,165

Fish Of the Day: Walking Lungshark

Somewhere on Earth 88 there might be a more terrifying fish than the Walking Lungshark, but we are damned if we know what it might be.

Combining aspects of the lungfish, walking catfish and great white shark, these 20 foot long eating machines usually stay in the water, but they can come right out on the land to chase their prey! They can stay out of the water up to 45 minutes and they can hit a top speed of 10 miles an hour. Faster if they are going downhill. Fortunately, they cannot climb trees. Unfortunately, they CAN bite right through tree trunks up to 6 inches thick.

It will come as no surprise that Walking Lungsharks are hunted by many people around the world. This hunting is done in very large and very sturdy boats. Even so, if the Lungsharks are swimming in a school, the boats and crews may never return.

The Doclopedia #1,166

Fish Of the Day: Magic Crabs

Magical crabs are found on many islands in the Feerngark Sea. They range in size from two to 10 inches across and are identified by their bright yellow shells. They spend much of their time in shallow waters feeding on everything from algae to dead fish. They are usually quite docile, unless it is the mating season, in which case they might try to pinch you.

Getting the magical essence from a Magic Crab is quite easy. Simply pick one up and drop it into a bucket of cold fresh water. It will immediately release a golden liquid, the magical essence that Wizards pay top dollar for. Once it releases the essence, put the crab back into the sea, for it will not survive long in fresh water.

Magic Crabs cannot survive anywhere outside their home territory, so introducing them to other areas just won’t work. As to why more people aren’t harvesting the essence and getting rich, that is easily explained by the fact that the Feerngark Sea is also home to Giant Sea Demons, Surf Blobs, Fire Gulls and Fog Creatures, to name but a few.

The Doclopedia #1,167

Fish Of the Day: Baconfish

Well it’s a fish th’ size of a salmon what tastes exactly like bacon, innit? Grows about a meter an’ a ‘alf and nice and pudgy, too! Th’ red an’ white colors marks ’em from reg’lar salmon, ain’t that right, Dex?

Now, you get y’self one, you clean it all proper an’ smoke it up an’ that’ll be th’ best you ever ate! Blimey, I’m makin’ m’self ‘ungry, I am. C’mon, Dex, let’s go fishin’!”

Bucky & Squint Rebuild A Transmission

…a 4 speed


The Doclopedia #1,087

The Alphabet: B is for…


It is an amazing fact that all across the multiverse, in every world that has pigs (or some fairly similar animal) there is bacon. Even in worlds where the pigs are sentient, there is bacon, but nobody discusses it much and they eat it in secret. There are even two versions of Earth where Bacon is worshiped as a god. In most worlds, it just tastes like something that gods would eat.

On several Magic Earths, bacon is used in spell casting or as a healing food. On a couple of these worlds, you can create Bacon Golems, which never last very long. A popular spell is Wall of Bacon, which stops both adventurers and monsters for as long as it takes to eat it.

Beer Of Wizardly Power

Oh, it looks like plain old ale, but if you are one of the Adept and you drink a couple of pints of it, you’ll soon be filled with magical power. Everyone else will just be filled with the need to go take a leak.

This amazing brew was first concocted in the Red Hills region of Valduria back in 1286. It seems that a brewmaster and a Wizard got drunk one night and hatched the idea to brew up a beer that would amp up the power of any Adept who drank it. It soon became very popular.

The secret to using Beer of Wizardly Power is to not drink too much. The result if 8 pints worth can be seen in the ruins of Glossingol’s Tower which was turned into marzipan along with a drunken Wizard Glossingol. We can also attribute the 300 acre Dancing Forest to a bit too much of the brew.