The Incredible Adventure Of Doctor Tempest Versus The Cat Creature

…from the November 1902 edition

The Third Brewerton Poll is closed and I will use the info in my final description of the village, which is still a couple of polls away. In the meantime, another poll will be up in a day or so.

My attempts (three of them!) to write the “Stolen Cop Car” story by using Lolcat speak have proven fruitless. Instead, I shall tell it in another style. But not in this post.

Apparently there is much agonizing going on by fanboys (yeah, like that doesn’t happen every fucking day in some area of fandom) about unfounded reports that the ending for Watchmen will not be the same as in the graphic novel. I hope it’s not true, but either way, we are now stuck with yet another crop of whining, bitching, moaning, crying gits until the day the movie finally premieres. Of course, even then, there will be some who bitch about it, even if it follows the book exactly.

And that leads me into the following rant…

There are few feelings that so conflict me as the ones I get when fans go bugfuck over…well, whatever. On the one hand, I have hung out with a great many comics/games/sci-fi/fantasy/music/movie/tv/etc. fans of both sexes and I really like most of them. On the other hand, the constant wailing and gnashing of teeth over things great or small, real or imagined, by some of them makes me want to choke them into merciful silence. It’s damned annoying.

What really annoys me, though, is not that they shit themselves when they find out that X actor is going to play Y character…or that, Dog forbid, the movie version of a book turns out differently than the written version…or that adventure #234 for their favorite RPG is not what they expected/wanted…or that author A started a new series when they wanted book #15 of The Neverending Trilogy…or that game/movie/videogame/music/tv/publishing company doesn’t give them EVERYTHING EXACTLY AS THEY WANT RIGHT NOW FOR FREE…no, what really bugs the fuck out of me is that, ultimately, they are all fucking hypocrites.

Case in point: Years and years ago…about a week after D&D3E was announced…there was brisk discussion on the old AOL gaming forums about what the game might be like and such. As time went on, the fanboys grabbed hold of every little fact and rumor about D&D3E and, as fanboys are wont to do, started pulling “facts” out of their asses. D&D was gonna be great…it was gonna blow…it would be streamlined for better roleplaying…it would become more bloated…it would be the same…it would be different.

When more facts came out and we got a clearer idea of where D&D was going, a whole mess of geeks went ballistic. Never, they swore, would they play this new abomination that was solely designed to viciously bugger their childhood RPG memories. No, no, a thousand times no, they would not buy D&D3E. The game was dead to them.

And then it came out and they bought it and 4,386 supplements/sourcebooks/adventures/monster manuals for it. They wrote lavish reviews, clogged the intertubes with game writeups and, in more than a couple of cases, climbed on the D20/OGL train and started their own game companies. Way to stand by your principles, whiners.

But it isn’t just those game geeks, it’s really all aspects of fandom…

“Dude, I fucking HATE what they did to Lord Of the Rings!” A year later, he’s first in line to buy the special edition DVD.

“Bigass Video Game Company lost my business when they didn’t make XWiistation 2 backward compatible” A month later, he’s playing the fuck outta MarioHalo Theft 4…on the system he hated.

“I can no longer respect an author who would depict Vulcans dressed in winter clothing while attending the big Pointed Ear Festival, cos it’s held in the summer!” But then she busts her ass to get said author to sign his latest Trek novel.

“George Lucas raped, murdered, beheaded and then cannabalized my childhood!” A year later, their dicks are hard at the mere mention of a Star Wars television series.

It goes on and on. Don’t even get me started on the Trekkies or the Whovians. It all puts a terrible strain on my already strained attempt to put my violent youth behind me. I mean, hypocrisy is a very human thing. It’s what sets us apart from the animals. But the whineyass way that fandom goes about it just sucks ass.

No, I don’t have any suggestions on how to solve this. I was just whining.

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It’s All Fun And Games Until Your Cousin Turns Into A Weretiger And Goes On A Rampage

…man, did that birthday party suck

It’s supposed to hit 105 today and it’s gotta be 100 or better out right now. Normally, this would not stop me from doing yard work and other outside stuff (except for dog walking, because The Girls feel the heat and do their business as fast as possible so as to get back into the air conditioned house), but today, there is something in the air that is seriously fucking with my allergies. After maybe 10 minutes out (this morning, when it was barely 80) I had a motherfucker of a sinus headache that took a fistful of aspirin and an hour indoors to get rid of.

Stupid allergies!

In other news, starting Monday I’ll be applying for jobs I’d really rather not do, but am now too poor and overcome by cabin fever to turn down. Should I get one of them, expect me to turn into a miserable son of a bitch after about the first month. By the end of the second month, I’ll be stomping Tokyo into a smoldering ruin. After that, look for me with a gun on a high tower near you.

Ok, enough bitching. I’m off to surf the net for information on the high paying world of running ones own religion. Or maybe robbing from the rich and keeping it. Or selling ones soul…wait, did that one back in 1972. Shit.

The 51 Secrets To Being Too Cool

…52, if you count cool shades

I feel like leftover shit this morning. Woke up at 1:30 in the A.M. with stomach cramps. That set the scene for alternately sitting on the side of the bed or on the john, then (after 20 minutes or so of no relief from the pain) going back to bed to attempt sleep for 45 minutes or so.

This happens to me a couple of times a year. Eventually, usually just before I need to get up for work, the dam breaks, so to speak, and I get a bit of a respite from the pain…but not much or for very long.

If the past is any indication, I’ll be feeling ok by about 2:00. I’ll be tired and woozily feeling, but at least the cramping will stop. All hail the power of Pepto Bismol!

More blogging after work.