…as told by Sasha Jane Cross
The Doclopedia #1,158
A Hand Full Of…: Goop
“That there in yer hand is 100% Goop, young fella. Comes outta them Goop Cactus over yonder and it’s worth twice as much as gold. Why? Well, ya see, if ya mix a bit in some booze, it makes a drink that makes older folks feel frisky as young colts, especially in the boodwahr, if ya know what I mean. Heh heh heh.
Anyhow, there ain’t many of them cactus around, so we guard ’em pretty well. I hear they grow more down in Mexico, but the Mexicans will shoot ya fulla holes if you go lookin’ for ’em.
Oh no, we don’t cut down the whole danged cactus. No, we just put this here little spigot in the side once a month, then drain out a quart or so. Yeah, it thickens up real fast out in the air.
Hear, use this rag to clean up yer hand and we’ll go get some grub. Tomorrow, we’ll hike up the canyon and collect goop from the cactuses up there.”