This Is A Tale About A Story

…about a legend


The Doclopedia #1,414

Capes & Cloaks: The Cloak Of Dracula

And now, class, we end this semester with perhaps the most famous cloak of all, the cloak of Dracula.

It doesn’t look like much, does it? Basic black, high collar, long enough to drag on the floor if one is under 6 feet tall. It is old, yes, at least 700 years old. Those stains? Dirt from the grave and blood. If you saw this cloak lying on the floor, you’d either think it a dog’s bed or wipe your shoes on it.

But for all that it looks like something that might be worn by a Kalamorese beggar, it contains dark magic indeed. Dark enough to control the mind of anyone who might wear it. Dark enough to send them off in search of Dracula’s remains. And quite dark enough to force them to revive him.

Since Count Dracula made his way to our world, or was sent here against his will, the story varies, he has been revived no less than 8 times in 700 years. At least four of those times were by people who came into contact with his cloak.

What, Mr. Glitterleaf? Oh, of course, destroy the cloak! Now why didn’t a single solitary person think of that over the last seven centuries, including your own great uncle, the Wizard Larinul? Oh, wait, they did!

Attempts have been made to burn, bathe in acid, rip to shreds, unravel and even banish the cloak. It has been dropped into lava, fed to various slimes, blasted with the most destructive of spells and exposed to prolonged dragonfire that caused poor old Zartamaxilon to nearly collapse.

If there is a way to destroy this cloak, it has not shown itself yet.

Fortunately, it can be very easily placed under great security and locked away. Even now, as we look at it in this glass case, it is protected by spellworkings that would reduce you to dust if you so much as tried to crack the glass. When it leaves here, it will be teleported at least 3 times until it is safely in it’s proper vault in an undisclosed location.

So there is is, the greatest piece in Count Dracula’s wardrobe. Now, before you leave for your no doubt debauchery filled vacation, a little something to remember. Should Count Dracula rise again, he can summon this cloak to him and there is no magic strong enough to stop it. When that happens, and I assure you it will happen someday, alarms will go off in every Wizard’s home. Great evil will walk our world again and we must all be ready to fight it!

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Don’t Shoot Me, I’m Only The Piano Slayer

…old pianos get real mean

The Doclopedia #1,413

Capes & Cloaks: The Cape Of Many Colors

I ask you, students, have you ever seen a more beautiful cape? I think not. Yes, Mr. Kervox, the colors are very bright. No pastels or grays here. And look at how the colors shift and flow, but never fully mix, just barely making secondary colors along the edges. Truly a unique article of clothing and a quite masterful bit of magic.

The Cape of Many Colors was created just over a century ago by the learned and powerful Wizard Omboratis, at that time living way up north in Fenrelly. Besides being one of the five most powerful Wizards in the civilized world, Omboratis was also something of a dandy. He was constantly on the lookout for new fashion trends and even started a few of his own. It can safely be said that when the Wizard’s League had a meeting, he would be the best looking person there. Of course, given how little most Wizards care about their appearance, that is not saying much.

Now, besides being a clotheshorse of the first order, Omboratis was also quite the ladies man. His affairs were numerous and frequent. One wonders where he ever found the time to practice magic. Or the energy, what with his being well over 200 years old.

At any rate, one night at a fancy dress ball put on by the Emperor of the West, our well dressed Wizard met an equally well dressed and astoundingly beautiful woman, Neren, Queen of the Fey. Their mutual attraction was powerful and they spent the whole night together, plus several days and nights afterward. When Neren had to return to the Feywood, Omboratis swore that he would join her there soon.

Our love smitten lad knew that the Fey loved both finely made clothing and skillfully worked magic, so he set about weaving a spell of great power and complexity. At the same time, he had the legendary weavers of Gii Malang working on a cape. This cape was to be woven and tailored using the rarest of fibers and threads that, to say the least, were extraordinary in nature. The cape took a full two months to create, while the binding of the spell to it took another month.

It goes without saying that this all came at enormous expense. Omboratis could have purchased a few kingdoms with the money he spent.

When the cape you see here was finished, Omboratis took it with him to the Feywood and presented it to Neren. She was awed by it and proclaimed it the finest gift she had ever been given. She then took Omboratis into her private chambers and they stayed there for two weeks. When they emerged, the Queen told her court that the two would be married under the next full moon. This caused no small amount of chaos, said full moon being only 10 days away. Still, a proper royal fey wedding was held and, by all historical accounts, they lived happily ever after.

So, what are the properties of this cape? Well, the one it is most noted for is they ability to slow the aging process. For every hour it is worn, a year melts away. Both the Queen and Omboratis wore it, and so were actually younger when they died than when they met.

Oh, did I say “when” they died? I meant to say “if” they died. There is much debate on the actuality of their deaths. But that, students, is a matter for Wizard Jemmaline’s class on Magic In History.

Another property of the cape is that it allows flight at an high speed while both intangible and invisible. Quite a stealthy thing to have when one wishes to check up on the more belligerent fey in their far flung provinces.

Finally, the cape grants one wish per year. Queen Neren used this to improve the lives of her subjects every year for 261 years. This is why you will find statues of her throughout the Feywood.

Any of those properties would be very high magic indeed on their own, but all together in one item? Unheard of before or since.

And now we close with the answer to your unasked question: Why has no other person claimed this cape in the 328 years since Neren and Omboratis “died”? Well, the answer is dead simple, if you consider why it was made. The cape only confers it’s magical powers to those two lovers. Anyone else attempting to wear it will find no magic and will suffer a nasty rash.

And now be off to your next class.

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Gandalf Picard VS The Robotic Spice Rebels Of Narnia

…if I can make just one fanboy weep, my job is done

The Doclopedia #1,408

Capes & Cloaks: Cape Fear

Fear is a very powerful emotion, as and soldier or adventurer can tell you. Fear can make you run farther and faster than ever you thought possible, or it can make you leap into danger with deadly intent.

Today, students, we will discuss a cape of terrible power, one that you have probably all heard tales about as children. Today we discuss Cape Fear.

Quiet down! QUIET DOWN! The cape is no danger to us today. As you can plainly see, it is fully enclosed in a case made of Professor Ranik al Haraba’s most wonderful magic proof glass. I give you my word that there will be no leakage today. Unless, of course, some of you wet yourself when I revealed the cape.

Let’s take a look at it here. A rather plain affair made of gray and white wool in a sort of hounds tooth pattern. It attaches below the neck with a short chain and a clasp. I should think it would come down to about the waist on a 6 foot tall person. In all ways it appears totally normal.

But we know differently, don’t we? This cape is over 300 years old and has been worn by at least 10 insane killers that we know of. The Falburgh Ripper, Lady Vezeel, The Gray Headsman, Yogarl of the Swamp Clan, Sir Ansent Bartok…the list goes on and on. Each of them wore the cloak and were driven mad by the need to incite fear and terror. They tortured and dismembered and even cannibalized their victims before finally being brought to justice.

Yes, yes, Miss Broadfoot, how indeed did the cape remain undetected for so long? Was it ineptitude by the authorities? No, although they were more than a little inept at times. Perhaps the crazed killers had an accomplice that spirited the cape away after the killer’s death? None have ever been found.

No, the simple answer it that the cape shuts off it’s curse for a time and is tossed away or put in a pile with the killers other clothes, for later burning. This buys the cape enough time to entice somebody to take it away from any danger of being buried or destroyed. Over a period of a day or two, it causes itself to become clean and new looking. After that, it might be worn by several people, until the day comes when it meets just the right person. Then it turns the curse back on and begins driving them mad.

Take a good long look at Cape Fear, students. In a few days, it will be transported to a secluded locale to be burned into nothingness by magical fire. After that, it will haunt our world no longer.

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New Board Games For Cats

…they mostly lay on them and play with the pieces


The Doclopedia #1,407

Capes & Cloaks: Cloak Of Shadows

Good morning, students! As promised, this week we shall discuss various capes and cloaks, each imbued with strange powers. Now do quiet down so we may get started.

Now, you see before you a very well tailored cloak. It is meant to attach to a shirt or jacket at a point just a couple of inches below the collarbones. The collar of the cloak is quite high, coming up about halfway on one’s ears. The interior is red and the exterior is black. It is made from a light, yet very durable fabric. Our best estimate is that it was made for a person standing at least 6 foot 2 inches tall.

So, a very fine looking cloak, but what of it’s special powers? Ah, well, those are interesting indeed. To begin with, the wearer of the cloak can become extremely hard to see in any sort of darkness or deep shadow. Indeed, after wearing it for a while, one can even cause the minds of those around you to become cloudy, leading to them not being able to see you at all. Most interesting, I think you’ll agree.

Perhaps an even greater power, though one that is a two edged sword, is the ability to know what evil lies in the human or humanoid heart. You know who has evil tendencies just by looking at them. You also know who will act on this evil and who will not act…yet. Trust me when I tell you finding out that an old friend is some sort of evil bastard is not something you will enjoy. This is only made worse by the cloak’s final power.

It wants you to fight evil.

And when I say “fight evil”, I mean going after criminals and evildoers and stopping them in any way necessary, including killing them. It is not an urge that is easily resisted, which is why wearing the cloak is no longer allowed.

Now, off you go to your next class!